Some people are difficult, but then there are those who take things to a whole new level—calculating, manipulative, and completely lacking in empathy.
These are the people who mess with your emotions, gaslight you into making you wonder whether you’re going insane, and leave total chaos in their wake. If someone in your life consistently shows these traits, it might be time to take a step back and rethink your relationship with them. It’s definitely not healthy!
1. They fake emotions to manipulate people.
Some people put on a show of emotions, but if you pay close attention, you’ll notice something off. They might cry when they need sympathy, act outraged to gain support, or put on a warm, caring persona to win people over. But the second they’re alone or no longer in the spotlight, their entire mood changes. Their emotions aren’t genuine; they’re calculated and performed to get a reaction from the people around them.
If you’re dealing with someone like this, watch how their emotions change depending on the audience. Genuine feelings don’t switch on and off for convenience. Instead of getting pulled into their performance, observe their actions over time. Do they actually follow through on what they say? Do their expressions of care match how they treat people behind closed doors? If not, don’t fall for the act.
2. They completely lack empathy.
No matter how much you explain your feelings, they don’t seem to care. They might nod along, but deep down, they don’t actually connect with what you’re going through. When someone is upset, they act annoyed, dismissive, or even entertained by the situation. It’s not that they don’t understand emotions; they just don’t experience them the same way. To them, emotions are things to manipulate, not things to feel.
If someone consistently downplays your feelings or makes you feel like you’re overreacting, take that as a warning sign. Real relationships involve mutual understanding, and if they can’t offer even basic empathy, they’re incapable of true emotional connection. Instead of seeking validation from them, turn to people who actually care about your well-being.
3. They enjoy making people uncomfortable.
There’s something unsettling about the way they push boundaries. They make inappropriate jokes, say things just to get a reaction, or invade people’s personal space to see how much they can get away with. Sometimes it’s subtle, like making backhanded compliments or playing devil’s advocate for no reason. Other times, it’s more direct, like forcing people into awkward situations just to feel in control.
The best way to handle this? Set clear boundaries and don’t play into their games. If they say something offensive, call them out or disengage completely. They thrive on making people feel uneasy, so the less of a reaction they get, the less fun it is for them.
4. They gaslight people into doubting reality.
They twist facts, deny things they’ve said, and make you question your own memory. Even when you have proof of what happened, they’ll insist you’re wrong, exaggerating, or being too sensitive. Over time, this kind of manipulation can seriously mess with your confidence, making you doubt your own judgment.
If you start noticing this pattern, keep track of what’s being said, whether that means writing things down, taking screenshots, or just reminding yourself of the truth. Having solid proof can help you see through the manipulation and avoid getting sucked into their mind games.
5. They never take responsibility for their actions.
No matter what happens, it’s never their fault. If they hurt someone, they’ll blame the other person for being “too sensitive.” If they mess up, they’ll spin the story so they come out as the victim. They’ll twist reality however necessary to avoid taking accountability, and they’re experts at putting the blame on everyone but themselves.
The easiest way to deal with this is to stop expecting accountability from them. They’re not going to change, and waiting for them to own up to their mistakes will only frustrate you. Instead, focus on protecting yourself from their behaviour and setting clear limits on how much you engage with them.
6. They use people and throw them away.
Some people see relationships as a way to get what they want, whether it’s attention, status, money, or entertainment. The moment someone stops being useful to them, they lose interest and move on. There’s no emotional depth to their connections, just self-interest disguised as friendship or romance.
Pay attention to how they treat people over time. Do they cycle through friends quickly? Do they drop people the second they stop getting something out of them? If so, don’t take it personally when they eventually do the same to you. Save your energy for relationships that are built on real connection, not convenience.
7. They make you feel guilty for no reason.
Somehow, everything becomes your fault, even when you know it isn’t. They’re experts at guilt-tripping, making you feel bad for setting boundaries, having emotions, or even just saying no. Sometimes they play the victim, other times they twist your words, but the end result is always the same: you’re left feeling guilty for something that shouldn’t be on you.
The best way to deal with this is to pause and ask yourself, “Is this actually my fault, or am I being manipulated?” If you constantly feel guilty around them, take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Healthy relationships don’t involve one person carrying all the blame.
8. They seem completely emotionless at times.
They can go from being overly dramatic to eerily cold in seconds. When something truly emotional happens—whether it’s a tragedy, a heartfelt moment, or someone else expressing deep feelings—they don’t react the way most people would. Instead, they seem detached, bored, or completely unaffected.
If someone’s emotions never seem to match the situation, that’s a major red flag. Pay attention to how they respond to other people’s struggles. Do they offer support, or do they seem indifferent? If someone lacks emotional depth, they’re unlikely to be a good person to rely on.
9. They twist your words to make you look bad.
No matter what you say, they find a way to turn it against you. Even if you meant something completely harmless, they’ll reframe it to make you seem like the bad guy. They thrive on creating misunderstandings and making people second-guess themselves.
The best way to handle this is to stop over-explaining yourself. If someone is committed to twisting your words, no amount of clarification will change that. Stand by what you actually meant, and don’t get caught in their trap.
10. They get a kick out of other people’s pain.
Most people feel some level of sympathy when people are struggling, but not them. If anything, they find it entertaining. Whether it’s stirring up drama, laughing at someone else’s expense, or outright enjoying other people’s misery, they don’t just lack empathy—they seem to enjoy other people’s suffering.
If you notice someone repeatedly finding joy in negativity, distance is your best option. There’s no reasoning with someone who thrives on chaos and pain. The best thing you can do is remove them from your life before they drag you into their toxicity.
