Staying by someone’s side when they’re dying is one of the greatest gifts you can give them — and yourself.
As difficult as it is to know that they’ll no longer be there soon, spending those final precious hours and days with them can make all the difference in allowing them to pass in peace — and giving you a bit of closure after they’re gone. It can be hard to know how to speak to your loved one in this tough time, but don’t overthink it. If you’re really struggling, here are some suggestions you may find useful.
1. Remind them of a shared memory.
Sharing a memory you both cherish can bring a smile and a sense of warmth. Whether it’s a funny moment or something simple, it connects you both to something joyful. A shared memory says, “I remember, and I’m here with you.” It’s a gentle reminder that their life is full of moments that mattered. Memories are like gifts that keep us close, even in hard times.
2. Tell them it’s okay to rest now.
Sometimes, people need to know it’s okay to let go, that they’ve done enough. Gently letting them know they can rest can bring a feeling of release and peace. This simple reassurance can help them feel less alone in the transition. It’s a way of saying you’re by their side without expecting anything more. Just knowing it’s okay can make a big difference.
3. Thank them for the impact they’ve had.
Letting them know how much they mean to you, and the ways they’ve touched your life, is a beautiful gift. It reminds them that their life made a difference and that they’ll be remembered. A simple “thank you” for their kindness or love can go a long way. This recognition brings peace and a sense of purpose. It’s a reminder that their life mattered deeply.
4. Offer comfort without forcing conversation.
If they’re quiet or too tired to speak, it’s okay to just be present. A gentle hand-hold or a soft smile shows you’re there without needing words. Sometimes, just knowing someone is beside them brings the greatest comfort. It’s a way of being there in the moment, no pressure, just peace. Silence can sometimes be the gentlest language of all.
5. Assure them of the well-being of loved ones.
People often worry about those they’ll leave behind, so let them know their loved ones will be okay. You can mention how everyone is handling things or assure them that they’ll be well cared for. It brings a sense of relief, knowing those they care about will be alright. This reassurance helps ease their mind. A simple “We’re going to be okay” can bring a lot of peace.
6. Tell them they are loved, deeply and completely.
In moments like these, hearing “I love you” can bring so much comfort. It’s simple, honest, and reminds them that they’re surrounded by love, no matter what. You don’t need to add anything more; just let them feel that love. It’s a way of connecting deeply, without needing a single extra word. Those three words carry a lot of healing power.
7. Share what you admire about them.
Highlighting their strengths and qualities they’re proud of can be a great source of comfort. Let them know the ways they inspired you or made the world better just by being themselves. It gives them something meaningful to hold on to in these last moments. This small acknowledgment can feel incredibly validating. It says, “You made a difference just by being you.”
8. Reassure them they won’t be forgotten.
Sometimes, people worry they’ll fade from memory, so let them know they’ll be remembered and celebrated. Tell them you’ll carry their stories forward and keep their memory alive. This reassurance brings a sense of peace and comfort, knowing their legacy will endure. It’s a gentle promise that their life will always have meaning. Memories are a way of keeping them close, always.
9. Use their name often.
Hearing their name can bring a sense of connection, making the moment feel more personal and warm. Saying their name reminds them they’re not alone and that you’re there, focused on them. It’s a small but powerful way of acknowledging their identity and presence. This simple act can bring a deep feeling of comfort. Sometimes, the familiar sound of their name is all they need.
10. Remind them of something they’ve taught you.
Letting them know how they’ve impacted your life can be deeply meaningful. Maybe they taught you something practical or a life lesson that shaped you. Sharing this not only honours their wisdom but also reassures them their legacy will live on. It’s a beautiful way to show that their life’s lessons will be remembered. Their influence stays with you, even beyond this moment.
