Breaking free from the grasp of a narcissist isn’t easy, by any stretch of the imagination.
It takes courage, strength, and a whole lot of self-awareness. Recognising patterns in your own behaviour is a crucial first step. If you’re ready to take back your power and reclaim your life, here are a few things you might want to stop doing.
1. Stop trying to earn their approval.
Narcissists thrive on attention and validation, and they’ll manipulate you into constantly seeking their approval. Remember, their opinions don’t define your worth. Start valuing your own judgment and stop seeking validation from someone who will never truly give it.
2. Stop blaming yourself.
Narcissists are masters at deflecting blame and making you feel like everything is your fault. You might find yourself apologising constantly, even for things that aren’t your responsibility. It’s time to see their manipulative tactics for what they are and stop shouldering their blame. You are not responsible for their behaviour.
3. Stop trying to fix them.
It’s a natural instinct to want to help someone you care about, but trying to “fix” a narcissist is a fruitless endeavour. Their patterns of behaviour are deeply ingrained, and they’re unlikely to change, no matter how much you love or support them. Focus on your own healing and well-being instead.
4. Stop engaging in their drama.
Narcissists love to create chaos and drama, and they’ll often try to draw you into their conflicts. It’s important to resist the urge to get involved. Don’t take the bait or let them drag you into their emotional turmoil. Set healthy boundaries and distance yourself from their drama.
5. Stop trying to reason with them.
Narcissists are not interested in logic or reason. They’re driven by their own needs and desires, and they’ll often twist your words or manipulate the situation to suit their agenda. Don’t waste your energy trying to explain yourself or make them see your perspective. It’s unlikely to lead to any meaningful resolution.
6. Stop defending them to other people.
You might find yourself making excuses for the narcissist’s behaviour or trying to downplay their hurtful actions to your friends, family, or anyone else. This is a common coping mechanism, but it only enables their toxic behaviour. It’s important to be honest with yourself and other people about the reality of the situation.
7. Stop trying to control them.
You can’t control the way anyone else acts, especially not a narcissist. Their actions are ultimately their responsibility, and you can’t force them to change. Focus on what you can control – your own reactions, your own choices, and your own well-being.
8. Stop taking their abuse personally.
Narcissists project their own insecurities and flaws onto other people, and their abusive behaviour is a reflection of their own issues, not yours. Don’t take their insults or attacks to heart. Remember, their words are not a reflection of your worth or value.
9. Stop hoping they’ll change.
It’s easy to get caught in a cycle of hope, believing that the narcissist will eventually see the light and change their ways. Unfortunately, change is rare and requires a level of self-awareness that narcissists often lack. Holding on to this hope can prevent you from moving on and healing. Accept that they are who they are and focus on creating a life that doesn’t revolve around their unpredictable behaviour.
10. Stop isolating yourself.
Narcissists often isolate their victims from friends and family, making them feel dependent and alone. Reconnect with your loved ones and rebuild your support network. Surround yourself with people who uplift you and make you feel valued. Having a strong support system is crucial for healing and moving forward.
