Narcissists don’t operate in isolation, unfortunately — they often have people around them who, knowingly or unknowingly, help them get away with their behaviour.
These people make excuses, cover for them, or even do their dirty work, all while keeping the toxic cycle going. Some of them do actually mean well and think they’re helping, while others know exactly what they’re doing and just don’t care. If you’ve ever wondered why narcissists rarely face consequences, these enablers are a big part of the reason. These types of people make life easier for a narcissist, sometimes at the expense of everyone else.
1. The justifier
The justifier is the one who always has a reason why the narcissist’s behaviour isn’t as bad as it looks. “They’ve just been under a lot of stress lately,” or “They had a rough childhood, it’s understandable,” are the kinds of things they’ll say to explain away the narcissist’s behaviour, and it’s infuriating.
Even when the narcissist is clearly in the wrong, the justifier twists the situation to make it seem like the way they’re going on is somehow acceptable. They may not mean any harm — they might even think they’re being compassionate, as delusional as that is — but in reality, they’re preventing the narcissist from facing the consequences of their actions. By constantly defending them, they only fuel the toxic cycle, making it harder for the narcissist to be held accountable.
2. The fixer
The fixer is the person who can’t stand conflict. Whenever the narcissist upsets someone or causes a problem, they rush in to smooth things over, often at their own expense. They’ll apologise on behalf of the narcissist, make excuses, or try to calm everyone down, all in the name of “keeping the peace.” However, what they’re actually doing is protecting the narcissist from facing the fallout of their actions.
The more they fix things, the more the narcissist learns that they can get away with bad behaviour without any consequences. This might seem like a helpful move, but it ultimately enables the narcissist to continue their manipulative ways.
3. The defender
The defender takes things one step further than the justifier. Instead of just making excuses, they actively attack anyone who calls the narcissist out on their behaviour. If you try to set boundaries, point out toxic behaviour, or call them out on something hurtful, they’ll accuse you of overreacting, being dramatic, or being “too sensitive.”
They defend the narcissist at all costs, even if it means dismissing or gaslighting the people who’ve been hurt by them. Sometimes, they’ll go as far as spreading lies or rumours to discredit anyone who tries to hold the narcissist accountable. The defender sees the narcissist as someone who must be protected, regardless of the harm they cause to other people.
4. The silent observer
Not all enablers are outspoken; some take a more passive approach. The silent observer sees what’s happening, knows it’s wrong, but stays quiet. Maybe they don’t want to get involved, or they don’t feel it’s their place to say anything. While they might not be actively defending the narcissist, their silence still contributes to the toxic behaviour.
By not speaking up or taking action, they’re allowing the narcissist to continue without facing any consequences. In a way, their silence is just as harmful as actively defending the narcissist, as it sends the message that the behaviour is acceptable.
5. The flying monkey
If you’ve ever dealt with a narcissist, chances are you’ve encountered a flying monkey. These people do the narcissist’s dirty work without question. They might spread gossip, manipulate people, or even create division among people to serve the narcissist’s agenda. Some of them are loyal, believing they’re helping the narcissist, while others do it out of fear of retaliation.
Either way, they’re being used as pawns in the narcissist’s game, often without realising how they’re being manipulated. The flying monkey keeps the narcissist’s control intact by doing their bidding and ensuring that no one stands up to them.
6. The guilt-tripper
The guilt-tripper is the enabler who plays on your emotions to get you to stay in line. If you try to walk away from the narcissist, set boundaries, or simply ask for space, they’ll guilt you into feeling like you’re doing something wrong. They’ll say things like, “But they’ve been through so much” or “You know they love you deep down.”
Their goal is to make you feel bad for not tolerating mistreatment. They want you to doubt yourself so you’ll stay, allowing the narcissist to continue manipulating you. The more you stay, the easier it is for the narcissist to keep control. The guilt-tripper uses emotional manipulation to keep you stuck in the same toxic pattern.
7. The social shield
This is the person who helps the narcissist maintain their perfect image in public. They’ll talk about how wonderful the narcissist is, highlight their achievements, and make sure everyone around them sees only the best side. It can be a partner, a friend, or a family member who’s been manipulated into protecting the narcissist’s reputation.
In some cases, the social shield might genuinely believe that the narcissist is a good person, and they may not realise they’re being used. Either way, their support allows the narcissist to keep fooling everyone into thinking they’re a caring, responsible person. This enables the narcissist to continue their toxic behaviour without facing the social consequences they should be facing.
8. The fearful follower
Not all enablers are complicit by choice. The fearful follower goes along with the narcissist because they’re afraid of the consequences if they don’t. They’ve learned that disagreeing, standing up for themselves, or challenging the narcissist leads to punishment. So, they stay quiet or even defend the narcissist just to keep the peace and avoid conflict.
They might seem complicit, but often, they’re trapped in the same toxic system as everyone else. They enable the narcissist’s behaviour because they feel they have no other option — it’s a form of self-protection, not loyalty. They’re just trying to survive in a situation that feels out of their control.
9. The financial supporter
Narcissists love having someone to finance their lifestyle, and the financial supporter plays a huge role in keeping them afloat. This could be a partner who pays for everything, a family member who constantly bails them out of financial trouble, or a friend who lends them money without question. As long as they have financial support, the narcissist has no incentive to change or face the consequences of their behaviour.
The narcissist gets to live exactly how they want, knowing that someone else will always clean up their mess. The financial supporter enables this cycle by allowing the narcissist to remain dependent on them without having to take responsibility for their own actions.
10. The hopeful believer
Out of all the enablers, the hopeful believer is often the hardest to watch. They truly believe that the narcissist will change, but only if they love them enough, support them enough, or wait a little longer. They cling to the good moments, ignoring the bad, and convince themselves that if they just keep trying, things will improve.
Unfortunately, narcissists rarely change. The longer the hopeful believer holds on, the more drained and exhausted they become. This enabler’s hope for change prevents them from recognising the reality that the narcissist is unlikely to ever transform, and in the meantime, they end up doing more harm to themselves and everyone else around them.
