We all dream of a fairytale romance, but sometimes those dreams can get a little out of hand. It’s easy to fall into the trap of believing in unrealistic expectations for our relationships, thanks to films, social media, and even just our own imaginations. But the reality is, real relationships are messy, complicated, and full of ups and downs. So, how can you tell if your expectations are a little too high? Here are some phrases that might reveal you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.
1. “We never fight.”
Let’s be real, disagreements are a natural part of any relationship. If you think healthy couples never argue, you’re setting the bar far too high. It’s okay to have different opinions and to express them. In fact, it’s healthy to have those disagreements and work through them together.
2. “They should know what I want without me having to say it.”
Sorry to burst your bubble, but your partner isn’t a mind reader. No matter how in sync you are, you still need to communicate your needs and wants. Expecting them to know what’s going on in your head without you saying anything is setting yourself up for disappointment.
3. “They complete me.”
While it’s lovely to feel a deep connection with your partner, believing that they “complete” you can be dangerous. You’re two whole individuals, and each of you should have your own sense of self and fulfilment. Relying on your partner to complete you puts too much pressure on them and can lead to an unhealthy codependent relationship.
4. “They should always make me happy.”
Your partner is not responsible for your happiness. It’s up to you to find joy and fulfilment in your own life, both inside and outside the relationship. Expecting your partner to constantly make you happy is unrealistic and unfair. A healthy relationship involves supporting each other’s happiness, not relying on each other to be the sole source of it.
5. “We have to spend every waking moment together.”
While spending time with your partner is important, it’s equally important to maintain your own independence and interests. Spending every waking moment together can be suffocating and can lead to codependency. A healthy relationship involves giving each other space to pursue individual passions and hobbies.
6. “They should always put my needs first.”
Relationships are about compromise and finding a balance that works for both partners. Expecting your partner to always prioritize your needs over their own is unrealistic and self-centred. A healthy relationship involves mutual respect and a willingness to put the other person’s needs first sometimes.
7. “We should never have any problems or disagreements.”
Every relationship faces challenges and disagreements. That’s just a part of life. Expecting a smooth sailing relationship with no conflicts is unrealistic and sets you up for disappointment. Healthy couples know how to communicate openly and respectfully, and they’re willing to work through challenges together.
8. “They should love everything about me, even my flaws.”
Source: Unsplash While it’s important for your partner to accept your flaws and imperfections, it’s unrealistic to expect them to love everything about you. We all have quirks and habits that might annoy our partners, and that’s okay. What’s important is to focus on the things you love about each other and to accept each other for who you truly are, flaws and all.
9. “If we’re really meant to be, our relationship should be effortless.”
Source: Unsplash Even the strongest, happiest couples face challenges and rough patches. If you think true love means never having to put in effort, you’re setting yourself up for a rude awakening. Building a lasting, fulfilling relationship requires patience, commitment, and a willingness to work through tough times together. It’s not always going to be butterflies and rainbows, but that doesn’t mean you’re not meant to be.
10. “They should never find anyone else attractive.”
Source: Unsplash It’s totally normal to find others good-looking, and expecting your partner to never even glance at someone else is ridiculous. What matters is how they act on those feelings. If they’re committed to you, they won’t cross any lines or betray your trust. Attractiveness is subjective, and there will always be other appealing people out there. What counts is choosing each other every day.
11. “If we fight, it means our relationship is doomed.”
Source: Unsplash Conflicts are an inevitable part of any close relationship – what matters is how you handle them. If you think fighting means your relationship is automatically failing, you’ve got it twisted. Healthy couples argue sometimes, but they do it respectfully and with the goal of resolution. They don’t resort to low blows, silent treatments, or sweeping things under the rug. Fighting can actually bring you closer if you use it as an opportunity to understand each other better and work as a team.
