If you’re always looking for external validation, trying to be the funniest, the smartest, or the most successful person in the room, that’s a problem.
While it’s natural to want to make a good impression, there’s a fine line between trying to impress and trying too hard. Here are a few signs that you might be crossing that line, and some tips for finding a more genuine and fulfilling approach to life.
1. You always name-drop or brag about your accomplishments.
It’s one thing to share your achievements when it’s relevant to the conversation, but it’s another to constantly brag about your successes. If you find yourself casually mentioning your fancy holiday or expensive new watch, it might be a sign that you’re trying to get validation through external accomplishments. Remember, true confidence comes from within, not from material possessions or social status.
2. You always try to one-up everyone else.
Source: Unsplash If a friend tells a story about their recent trip, do you immediately launch into a tale of your own, trying to make it sound even more exciting or impressive? This competitive behaviour can be exhausting for both you and the people around you. Try to be genuinely happy when good things happen to other people, and focus on celebrating your own achievements without feeling the need to compare yourself to everyone else.
3. You’re a chronic people-pleaser.
Do you always agree with everyone, even if you secretly disagree? Do you go out of your way to do favours for people, even if it means sacrificing your own needs or wants? While being kind and helpful is admirable, constantly putting other people’s needs before your own can be a sign of low self-esteem. Remember, it’s okay to have your own opinions and to say no sometimes.
4. You’re constantly changing your personality to fit in.
Do you act like a different person depending on who you’re with? Maybe you’re loud and outgoing with your friends, but shy and reserved around your colleagues. This chameleon-like behaviour can be a sign that you’re not comfortable with who you truly are. Embrace your quirks and unique personality traits. You’ll be much happier and more confident when you’re being genuine.
5. You fish for compliments.
“Do you like my new haircut?” “Do you think I’m good at my job?” If you’re always wanting reassurance from the people around you, it’s a sign that you don’t trust your own judgment. Try to cultivate self-confidence and believe in your abilities without needing constant validation.
6. You overspend on material possessions.
Do you buy designer clothes, luxury cars, or expensive gadgets to impress people? While it’s okay to treat yourself occasionally, constantly splurging on material possessions can be a sign of insecurity. Remember, true wealth comes from experiences, relationships, and personal growth, not from the things you own.
7. You’re overly concerned with your social media image.
Do you spend hours crafting the perfect Instagram post or curating your online persona? While it’s fun to share your life with other people, don’t let social media dictate your self-worth. Remember, what you see online is often a carefully curated highlight reel, not a true reflection of reality.
8. You chase approval from authority figures.
Do you go out of your way to impress your boss, your teachers, or other authority figures in your life? While it’s important to be respectful and professional, constantly trying to earn their approval can be a sign of insecurity. Remember, you’re valuable and capable, regardless of what other people think of you.
9. You’re overly apologetic.
Do you apologise for things that aren’t your fault, or for minor inconveniences that don’t warrant an apology? This excessive apologising can stem from a fear of upsetting people or a desire to be seen as polite and accommodating. Remember, it’s okay to stand your ground and assert yourself without feeling the need to apologise for everything.
10. You put on a façade of perfection.
Do you pretend to have it all together, even when you’re struggling? Do you hide your flaws, insecurities, and vulnerabilities from the people around you? This can be a sign of low self-esteem and a fear of being judged. Remember, everyone has imperfections, and it’s okay not to be perfect all the time. Embrace your imperfections and allow yourself to be vulnerable.
11. You avoid conflict at all costs.
Do you avoid disagreements, even when you feel strongly about something? Do you go along with what other people say, even if you don’t agree, just to avoid rocking the boat? While a little diplomacy is important, constantly suppressing your opinions can be detrimental to your well-being. It’s okay to disagree with people and express your thoughts and feelings in a respectful way.
12. You feel like you’re not good enough.
This is perhaps the most telling sign of all. If you constantly feel like you’re not good enough, smart enough, attractive enough, or successful enough, it’s a sign that you need to work on your self-esteem. Remember, you’re worthy of love, respect, and happiness, just as you are. Don’t let your insecurities dictate your worth or hold you back from living your best life.
