There’s a lot of misunderstanding and miscommunication when it comes to men’s friendships.
You might think you’ve got it all figured out, but the truth is, there are some things that blokes wish you knew about the way they bond with their mates. It’s not all about pints and football — there’s a lot more going on beneath the surface. If you want to understand the men in your life better, pay attention to these 12 things they wish you understood about their friendships.
1. They don’t always need to talk about their feelings.
Contrary to popular belief, men don’t always need to have deep, emotional conversations to bond with their friends. Sometimes, just being in each other’s presence, sharing an activity or a laugh, is enough to strengthen their connection. They don’t need to analyse every aspect of their lives or spill their guts to feel close to their friends. So if your boyfriend or husband seems content just watching the game with his friends, don’t assume he’s bottling up his emotions.
2. They need their own space and time.
Just like women, men need their own space and time to pursue their interests and recharge their batteries. They don’t want to feel guilty or pressured for spending time with their friends, whether it’s a lads’ night out or a weekend camping trip. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you or value your relationship — it just means they have other important people and activities in their lives. Give them the freedom to maintain their friendships without making them feel bad about it.
3. They don’t always want relationship advice.
When men confide in their friends about relationship problems, they’re not always looking for advice or solutions. Sometimes, they just need a sympathetic ear and a chance to vent. They don’t want their friends to take sides or offer unsolicited opinions — they just want someone to listen and understand. So if your partner comes home from a night out with the lads looking more relaxed, don’t assume they’ve been plotting against you. They might have just needed to blow off some steam.
4. They have different ways of showing affection.
Men’s friendships often look different from women’s — they might not involve a lot of hugging, heart-to-hearts, or declarations of love. But that doesn’t mean they’re any less meaningful or intimate. Men show affection to their friends through actions rather than words — by showing up when they’re needed, having each other’s backs, and being loyal and dependable. Don’t judge the depth of their friendships by how touchy-feely they are.
5. They don’t always want to double-date.
Just because you’re friends with your partner’s mate’s girlfriend doesn’t mean they automatically want to go on couple’s nights out or holidays together. Sometimes, men just want to hang out with their friends without the pressure of making small talk or entertaining other people’s partners. It’s not a reflection on how they feel about you — it’s just a different dynamic. Respect their need for guy time and don’t take it personally if they’d rather go to the pub alone.
6. They have their own way of resolving conflicts.
When men have a falling out with their friends, they often have their own way of resolving things that might seem strange or immature to women. They might give each other the silent treatment for a while, or settle things with a bit of friendly competition or banter. They don’t always need to have a big, emotional confrontation or a drawn-out apology. As long as they’ve cleared the air in their own way, don’t try to force them to handle things differently.
7. They value loyalty above all else.
For men, loyalty is the cornerstone of any strong friendship. They want to know that their friends have their back no matter what, and that they can count on them to keep their secrets and stand by them through thick and thin. They don’t take betrayal lightly, and they’ll go to great lengths to protect and defend their friends. So if your partner seems fiercely protective of his friends, understand that it comes from a place of deep trust and respect.
8. They don’t always want to gossip.
While women often bond over sharing intimate details and gossiping about other people’s lives, men tend to be more reserved when it comes to talking about personal matters. They might share funny stories or anecdotes about their friends, but they’re less likely to divulge sensitive information or speculate about people’s private lives. It’s not that they don’t care — they just have a different code of honour when it comes to respecting their friends’ privacy.
9. They need to let loose and be silly sometimes.
Men’s friendships often involve a lot of playful teasing, practical jokes, and silly humour. It might seem immature or even mean-spirited to an outside observer, but for men, it’s a way of bonding and blowing off steam. They need to be able to let their guard down and be goofy with their friends without feeling judged or censored. So if your boyfriend comes home from a night out with the lads with a ridiculous story or a new inside joke, just roll with it.
10. They don’t always want to be the responsible one.
In their romantic relationships, men often feel pressure to be the mature, responsible partner who takes care of everything. With their friends, they can let go of that burden and just be one of the guys. They don’t always want to be the designated driver, the voice of reason, or the problem-solver. Sometimes, they just want to be irresponsible and carefree with their friends. Don’t expect them to always be the grown-up in every situation.
11. They have shared histories and inside jokes.
Men’s friendships are often built on a foundation of shared experiences, memories, and inside jokes that can be hard for outsiders to understand or appreciate. They might have nicknames or catchphrases that make no sense to anyone else, or crack up at the mention of some long-ago escapade. Don’t feel left out or threatened by these insider references — they’re just a testament to the depth and duration of their friendship.
12. They value their friendships just as much as their romantic relationships.
Just because men don’t talk about their friendships in the same way that women do doesn’t mean they’re any less important to them. In fact, many men consider their close friends to be like family — they’ve been through thick and thin together, and they know they can always count on each other. They might not say “I love you” or get sappy on social media, but their bond is just as strong and meaningful as any romantic partnership.
At the end of the day, men’s friendships are complex, varied, and deeply important to their happiness.
By understanding and respecting the unique ways that men bond with their friends, you can support the men in your life and strengthen your own relationships in the process. Remember, it’s not a competition — there’s room in their hearts for both romantic love and platonic friendship. So let them have their guy time, their inside jokes, and their own way of doing things. They’ll love you all the more for it.
