We all tell little white lies sometimes, whether it’s to avoid hurting someone’s feelings or to get out of an awkward situation.
However, there’s a big difference between a harmless fib and a pathological lie. If you’re wondering whether someone in your life might be a pathological liar, there are a few key differences to look out for. It’s not always easy to spot, but paying attention to these signs can help you navigate the situation with a clearer understanding.
1. Their lies are usually elaborate and dramatic.
Everyday lies tend to be simple and straightforward, but pathological liars spin elaborate tales, often with dramatic details and unnecessary embellishments. Their stories might be so outlandish that they’re hard to believe, but they deliver them with such conviction that it’s easy to get caught up in the narrative.
2. They lie about even trivial things.
Most people reserve their lies for situations where there’s something to gain or lose. But pathological liars lie even when there’s no apparent reason to do so. They might lie about what they had for breakfast or what they did over the weekend, even though it doesn’t really matter.
3. They have a history of lying.
Everyone makes mistakes and tells the occasional white lie, but pathological liars have a long history of dishonesty. Their lies aren’t isolated incidents; they’re a pattern of behaviour that stretches back years or even decades. They may have burned bridges with friends, family, and colleagues due to their repeated dishonesty.
4. They don’t show remorse or guilt for their lies.
Most people feel bad when they lie, even if it’s a small fib. But pathological liars lack remorse or guilt for their dishonesty. They might even get a thrill from deceiving others and see it as a game or a challenge.
5. Their lies often contradict each other.
Because they lie so frequently and about so many different things, their stories often don’t add up. They might forget what they’ve told you before or create new lies that contradict previous ones. This inconsistency can be a major red flag.
6. They often believe their own lies.
In some cases, pathological liars become so invested in their own stories that they start to believe them. This can make it even harder to discern the truth from fiction, as they deliver their lies with complete conviction and sincerity.
7. Their lies often serve no purpose.
Everyday lies usually have a goal, whether it’s to avoid punishment, gain approval, or protect someone’s feelings. But pathological lies often serve no purpose other than to deceive. They might lie simply for the sake of lying, even if it doesn’t benefit them in any way.
8. They can be very convincing.
Pathological liars are often charming and charismatic, which makes them very convincing. They might be skilled at reading people and tailoring their lies to appeal to their audience. This can make it difficult to see through their deception, even if you have your doubts.
9. They often become defensive or aggressive when questioned.
When confronted about their lies, pathological liars rarely admit to wrongdoing. Instead, they might become defensive, deflect blame, or even lash out at the person who questioned them. This reaction is a way to avoid taking responsibility for their actions and maintain the illusion of honesty.
10. They may use lying as a coping mechanism.
For some pathological liars, lying is a way to cope with underlying emotional issues or trauma. They might lie to avoid facing painful truths, to create a more desirable self-image, or to escape from difficult situations. Understanding the root of their behaviour can be helpful, but it doesn’t excuse their dishonesty.
11. Their lies can have serious consequences.
While everyday lies might cause minor inconveniences or hurt feelings, pathological lies can have devastating consequences. They can damage relationships, ruin careers, and even lead to legal troubles. It’s important to take their lies seriously and protect yourself from their potential harm.
12. They lack empathy for the people they hurt.
Pathological liars often lack empathy for the people their lies affect. They might not understand or care about the pain they cause, and they may not see the consequences of their actions. This lack of empathy can make it difficult to have a healthy relationship with them.
