13 Signs You Might Have Lacked Emotional Support As A Child

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Ever feel like something’s missing? Like there’s a void where emotional connection and support should be? Maybe your childhood wasn’t the warm, fuzzy hugfest you see in movies. If you’re nodding along, these signs might resonate. They could mean you didn’t get the emotional support you needed as a kid, and that’s okay. We’re not here to dwell on the past, but to understand how it might be shaping you now.

1. You struggle to identify and express your emotions.

Growing up without emotional support can make it difficult to understand and articulate your feelings, Medical News Today notes. You might find it hard to pinpoint what you’re feeling, or you might resort to bottling it all up inside. This can lead to outbursts, emotional numbness, or difficulty forming healthy relationships.

2. Trusting people feels scary and dangerous.

If your emotional needs weren’t met as a child, you might have developed trust issues. It can be hard to believe that people genuinely care about you or that they’ll be there for you when you need them. This lack of trust can make it difficult to form close relationships or to rely on other people for support.

3. You feel like you have to earn love and affection.

Maybe love felt conditional growing up, like it had to be earned through achievements or good behaviour. This can lead to a constant need for validation and approval from other people, as well as a fear of rejection, per Psychology Today. You might feel like you’re not good enough or that you have to constantly prove your worth to be loved.

4. You have a fear of vulnerability.

Opening up to people and showing your true feelings can be terrifying if you weren’t taught how to handle emotions in a healthy way. You might fear judgment, rejection, or abandonment. This fear of vulnerability can create barriers in your relationships and prevent you from experiencing true intimacy and connection.

5. You struggle with low self-esteem and self-worth.

Not receiving consistent love and support as a child can leave you feeling unworthy and unlovable. You might have a negative self-image and doubt your abilities. This lack of self-worth can manifest in various ways, from self-sabotaging behaviours to difficulty setting boundaries.

6. You tend to isolate yourself and avoid social interaction.

If you didn’t have a safe space to express your emotions or connect with people as a child, you might have developed a tendency to withdraw and isolate yourself. This can lead to loneliness and a lack of social support, which can further exacerbate feelings of isolation and inadequacy.

7. You don’t know how to set boundaries.

Growing up without clear emotional boundaries can make it hard to establish them in adulthood. You might feel guilty for saying no, feel responsible for other people’s happiness, or allow people to take advantage of you. Learning to set healthy boundaries is essential for protecting your emotional well-being.

8. You’re overly critical of yourself.

If you were constantly criticized or judged as a child, you might have internalized those negative messages and become overly critical of yourself. You might hold yourself to impossibly high standards, never feeling good enough or worthy of love and happiness. Learning to practice self-compassion is crucial for healing from this self-criticism.

9. You struggle when it comes to asking for help or support.

If you didn’t have reliable sources of support as a child, you might struggle to ask for help as an adult. You might feel like you need to be self-sufficient or that asking for help is a sign of weakness. However, learning to ask for and accept help is a sign of strength and can be crucial for overcoming challenges and building healthy relationships.

10. You have trouble regulating your emotions.

If you didn’t learn healthy ways to cope with your emotions as a child, you might find it difficult to manage them as an adult. You might experience intense mood swings, have difficulty calming down when you’re upset, or resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms like substance abuse or self-harm.

11. You’re drawn to unhealthy relationships.

If you lacked emotional support as a child, you might be drawn to relationships that mimic the unhealthy dynamics you experienced growing up. You might find yourself attracted to emotionally unavailable partners or people who are critical or controlling. Recognizing this pattern is the first step towards breaking free from it and choosing healthier relationships.

12. You have a fear of intimacy.

If you didn’t experience secure attachment or emotional intimacy as a child, you might struggle to form close, intimate relationships as an adult. You might fear getting too close to people or worry that they will leave you. This fear of intimacy can prevent you from experiencing the love and connection you crave.

13. You don’t trust your own judgment and intuition.

If your thoughts and feelings were dismissed or invalidated as a child, you might have developed a lack of trust in your own judgment and intuition. You might second-guess yourself, seek constant validation from people, or feel unsure about making decisions. Learning to trust your inner voice and value your own opinions is a crucial step towards self-empowerment.