If you find yourself looking around at everyone else and wondering why you’re nowhere near them on the road of life, it can be devastating.
You might wonder why good things don’t happen to you, or why you haven’t hit more milestones that society or social media has made you believe you should have done by now. Feeling “behind” is likely all in your head, but that doesn’t make it go away. In fact, it often causes these things to happen too.
1. You feel paralysed by the comparison game.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing your life to other peoples, especially with social media showcasing everyone’s ‘best bits’. You see friends getting married, buying houses, or landing dream jobs, and you can’t help but wonder why you’re not there yet. It’s like being stuck in a never-ending game of ‘keeping up with the Joneses’, and it’s exhausting. The constant scrolling and comparing can leave you feeling like you’re not living up to some invisible standard.
2. You feel inadequate and like a bit of a failure.
You start to question your choices, your abilities, and even your worth. It’s like a dark cloud hanging over your head, casting a shadow of doubt on everything you do. The nagging voice in your head whispers, ‘You’re not good enough, you’re not doing enough, you’ll never catch up’. This isn’t true, but it’s hard to convince yourself of that.
3. You get serious FOMO.
Source: Unsplash Seeing everyone else enjoying major life milestones while you’re lagging behind makes you feel like you’re missing out. You feel stuck on the sidelines, like you’re watching a party that’s happening without you. The anxiety this can create makes it impossible to live in and enjoy the present.
4. You’re riddled with anxiety and stress.
The constant pressure to ‘catch up’ can lead to chronic anxiety and stress. You feel like you’re always playing catch-up, never able to relax and enjoy anything. The weight of these feelings can even manifest physically, leading to sleepless nights, digestive issues, and a constant sense of unease.
5. You lose your motivation and self-esteem.
When you feel ‘behind,’ it’s easy to lose motivation and give up on your goals. You start to believe that you’re incapable of achieving what other people have, and your self-esteem can take a hit. It becomes an endless cycle of negativity that feels impossible to escape from.
6. You isolate yourself and pull away from your friends and family.
Because you feel so inadequate, you might start to avoid being social or feel hesitant about putting yourself out there. You inevitably build a wall around yourself, shutting out love, encouragement, and support from the people who care about you. The fear of judgement and comparison can keep you trapped in a lonely cycle.
7. You never notice or celebrate your achievements.
When you’re focused on what you haven’t accomplished, it can be hard to appreciate the things you have done. You start to downplay or dismiss your achievements because you think they pale in comparison to everyone else’s, and that’s sad. The less you pat yourself on the back, the worse you feel about yourself, and the cycle inevitably continues…
8. You don’t look after yourself.
When you’re consumed by feelings of being ‘behind,’ you eventually start to neglect yourself. You might skip meals, stay up late worrying, or leave your hobbies and interests in the dust. You eventually start running on empty, failing to refuel your own tank, leaving you feeling depleted and exhausted. Self-care becomes an afterthought, and that’s sad.
9. You procrastinate and avoid getting things done.
Because you feel like you’ll never catch up to everyone else, you might start to put off important tasks or responsibilities, fearing that you won’t be able to do them well enough or that they’ll only highlight how far behind you are. That just makes things snowball to the point that they become overwhelming.
10. You never set realistic goals.
When you’re constantly comparing yourself to other people, it’s easy to set unrealistic goals for yourself. You might try to achieve too much too quickly, setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration. You don’t realise that reaching the top of the ladder is a climb — you can’t hop straight up from the bottom.
11. You engage in negative self-talk and self-sabotage.
Source: Unsplash You tell yourself that you’re not good enough, smart enough, or capable enough to succeed. These negative thoughts can become self-fulfilling prophecies, leading you to make choices that undermine your progress. It’s like having a saboteur living inside your head, constantly whispering doubts and fears.
12. Your relationships become strained.
Liubomyr Vorona
The constant comparison and feelings of inadequacy can strain your relationships with the people you love (and who love you right back). You might become resentful of the people in your life who seem to be ‘ahead’, or you might pull away from them altogether.
13. You never ask for help, even when you desperately need it.
Source: Unsplash Feeling ‘behind’ can make it difficult to ask for help. You might feel ashamed or embarrassed to admit that you’re struggling, fearing judgement or rejection. It’s like trying to swim against a strong current alone, instead of reaching out for a life preserver.
