14 Common Experiences That Can Lead To Low Self-Esteem

It’s not always easy to love and believe in yourself, that’s for sure.

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And while everyone goes through things that knock their confidence from time to time, we should be able to pick ourselves back up and realise that we’re still worthy and deserving of good things in life because we’re inherently valuable people. Unfortunately, these experiences are often enough to tank someone’s self-esteem long-term in ways that can be hard to bounce back from. If this is you, it’s time to start believing in yourself!

1. Constant criticism

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Being on the receiving end of constant criticism can wear down anyone’s self-worth. When people constantly point out your flaws and faults, it’s easy to start believing those things about yourself. Over time, this negative feedback can feel like it defines you. Setting boundaries with critical people can help protect your self-esteem and remind you that nobody’s perfect.

2. Feeling excluded or left out

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Being left out of social gatherings, work events, or other groups can create a deep sense of loneliness and self-doubt. It’s natural to wonder why you weren’t included, and it can lead to questioning your worth. Recognising that other people’s actions aren’t always personal can help you focus on building connections with people who value your company.

3. Experiencing failure repeatedly

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Failure is a normal part of life, but facing it over and over can make you feel defeated. It’s easy to internalise failures as personal flaws, which can start to lower your self-esteem. Remembering that failure is just part of learning can help you see these moments as steps forward instead of setbacks.

4. Bullying or harassment

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Bullying and harassment, whether in childhood or adulthood, leave lasting scars. When someone is treated poorly or humiliated, it can lead to long-term feelings of unworthiness. Finding support, whether through friends or counselling, can help you heal from these experiences and reclaim your confidence.

5. Not being validated or acknowledged

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When your feelings, achievements, or struggles go unrecognised, it can feel like you don’t matter. Over time, this lack of validation can make you doubt your own importance or abilities. Learning to acknowledge your own worth, regardless of anyone else’s reactions, can be a powerful way to boost self-esteem.

6. Comparing yourself to other people

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Constantly measuring yourself against other people can create a sense of inadequacy. Social media often makes it seem like everyone else has it all together, which can make you feel less capable or less successful. Focusing on your own progress instead of everyone else’s lives can help you feel more content and confident.

7. Feeling ignored or overlooked

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When people repeatedly overlook your ideas or contributions, it can make you question your value. Being ignored can lead to thoughts that you don’t deserve attention or respect. Reminding yourself that everyone has unique strengths can help you feel more grounded in your self-worth.

8. Experiencing neglect

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Neglect, whether in childhood or adulthood, often leads to feelings of being unimportant. When basic needs for care and attention aren’t met, it’s easy to feel like you don’t deserve better. Looking for supportive connections can help you feel valued and rebuild self-worth.

9. Facing unrealistic expectations

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Living up to impossible standards, whether they’re self-imposed or set by other people, is exhausting. Constantly falling short can make you feel like you’re never good enough. Accepting that nobody is perfect and setting realistic goals can be a relief, letting you feel more comfortable in your own skin.

10. Experiencing rejection

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Rejection stings, whether it’s in relationships, work, or friendships. Being turned away can make you feel unwanted or unworthy, which can chip away at self-esteem. Realising that rejection is a part of life and often isn’t personal can help you move forward and feel more resilient.

11. Struggling financially

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Financial stress can create feelings of inadequacy, especially when it seems like everyone else is doing well. It’s easy to equate financial struggles with personal failure, which can harm self-esteem. Remembering that worth isn’t defined by money can help you feel better about yourself regardless of financial status.

12. Facing discrimination

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Discrimination based on gender, race, or other factors can create a sense of inferiority. When treated unfairly, it’s natural to feel like you’re somehow “less than.” Getting support from those who understand your experiences can remind you of your value and worth.

13. Dealing with illness or physical limitations

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Chronic illness or physical limitations can make people feel like they’re missing out or not measuring up. Health issues often create a sense of being different, which can lead to low self-esteem. Focusing on what you can do and finding support can help you feel more empowered and capable.

14. Experiencing major life changes

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Big life changes, like moving, changing jobs, or ending a relationship, can shake up your sense of identity. During these transitions, it’s common to feel uncertain or question your choices, which can affect self-esteem. Taking time to adjust and find new routines can help you feel more stable and confident again.