Being poor is nothing to be ashamed of, and yet, many people still find it to be a humiliating experience.
The fact is, a huge number of people in the UK experience poverty. Data from the Joseph Rowntree Foundation reveals some pretty stark numbers: 22% of Brits — that’s more than 1 in 5 — were living in poverty in 2021/2022. That’s nearly 15 million people! Even sadder, that number is on the rise and only getting worse. Of course, knowing that other people are in the shame shoes isn’t necessarily comforting, especially since all any of us want is not to have to struggle to put food on the table or pay our heating bill. It’s certainly a struggle, and there are no easy answers. However, one thing is for sure: feeling down on yourself because of your financial situation definitely won’t help. Here’s how to avoid that cycle of negativity and cut yourself a bit of slack. After all, your struggles likely aren’t your fault!
1. Acknowledge and validate your feelings.
First things first: it’s okay to feel ashamed sometimes. Society puts a lot of pressure on people to equate worth with wealth, so feeling this way isn’t your fault. Don’t beat yourself up for having these emotions. Instead, try recognising them for what they are—responses to a system that often prioritises money over humanity. Once you acknowledge the feelings, you can start working through them with compassion, rather than judgment.
2. Separate your worth from your financial status.
Your value as a person doesn’t come from the size of your bank account. That’s obviously easier said than done, but try to remind yourself regularly that kindness, resilience, and creativity mean far more than material possessions. Start by listing qualities you like about yourself that have nothing to do with money—whether it’s your sense of humour, your ability to listen, or your determination to keep going. These traits matter so much more than what’s in your wallet.
3. Challenge societal stereotypes about poverty.
The shame of being poor often comes from harmful stereotypes that frame poverty as a personal failure. But let’s get real: financial struggles are usually the result of systemic issues, not laziness or lack of effort. Remind yourself that poverty is complex, and it doesn’t define your intelligence, work ethic, or potential. The more you challenge these stereotypes, the easier it becomes to see yourself in a kinder, more accurate light.
4. Focus on the strengths you’ve developed.
Being poor often teaches you skills and resilience that other people might not have. Maybe you’re great at budgeting, solving problems creatively, or finding joy in simple things. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, think about what you’ve gained through your experiences. Recognising these strengths can help shift your perspective from shame to pride in your resourcefulness.
5. Avoid comparing yourself to other people.
Comparison is a fast track to feeling bad about yourself, especially in a world dominated by social media highlights. It’s easy to look at someone else’s life and think they’ve got it all figured out, but you’re only seeing their best bits. Instead of comparing, focus on your own journey and progress. Even small steps forward deserve to be celebrated. Remember, everyone’s path is different, and there’s no “right” timeline for success.
6. Surround yourself with supportive people.
Shame thrives in isolation, so building a network of understanding and empathetic people is crucial. Whether it’s friends, family, or a community group, find people who lift you up rather than bring you down. Talking to someone who gets it can make all the difference. If you’re struggling to find support, consider joining online forums or local meetups where people share similar experiences. You’re not alone, even if it feels that way sometimes.
7. Educate yourself about finances without guilt.
If financial struggles leave you feeling stuck, learning more about managing money can help—without blaming yourself for what you didn’t know before. Start small: read a book, watch videos, or join a free budgeting workshop. The goal isn’t to become an expert overnight, but to feel a little more confident and in control of your situation. Knowledge is empowering, and taking even small steps can boost your self-esteem.
8. Celebrate small victories.
Progress is progress, no matter how small. Whether it’s paying off a bit of debt, saving a few pounds, or simply making it through a tough week, celebrate those wins. Acknowledging what you’ve accomplished—even the little things—can help counter the shame that often comes with feeling stuck. Over time, these small victories add up and remind you that you’re capable of moving forward, one step at a time.
9. Shift your focus to gratitude.
It might sound cliché, but gratitude really can shift your mindset. Start by noticing the things in your life that bring you joy, no matter how small—maybe it’s a sunny day, a good conversation, or a favourite meal. Focusing on what you have, rather than what you lack, doesn’t erase the challenges but can help you feel more balanced. Gratitude doesn’t mean ignoring your struggles; it just helps you see the good alongside them.
10. Reframe your perspective on success.
Society often defines success in terms of money and possessions, but that’s such a narrow view. Think about what success means to you personally—maybe it’s being a good friend, having time to do what you love, or simply feeling content. By creating your own definition of success, you take back the power to decide what matters in your life. Changing your perspective a bit can help reduce the shame tied to not meeting someone else’s expectations.
11. Practice self-compassion daily.
When shame creeps in, it’s easy to fall into a cycle of self-criticism. Break that cycle with self-compassion. Treat yourself like you would a close friend who’s struggling—with kindness, understanding, and encouragement. A simple way to start is by noticing negative thoughts and gently challenging them. For example, replace “I’m such a failure” with “I’m doing the best I can right now.” Over time, doing this can help ease feelings of shame and build inner strength.
12. Limit exposure to judgmental environments.
Sometimes, shame comes from external sources, like toxic workplaces, unkind relatives, or even certain social circles. If possible, try to minimise your exposure to people or places that make you feel worse about yourself. That might mean spending less time on social media or politely excusing yourself from unhelpful conversations. Protecting your energy isn’t selfish; it’s essential for your mental well-being.
13. Look for inspiring stories and role models.
It can be incredibly uplifting to hear about people who’ve faced similar struggles and come out stronger. Whether it’s a book, a podcast, or a personal connection, finding examples of resilience can remind you that change is possible. These stories aren’t about comparison—they’re about hope. Seeing how other people have navigated tough times can inspire you to keep going and find your own path forward.
14. Remember, shame doesn’t define you.
At the end of the day, shame is just a feeling—not a fact. It’s something you experience, not something you are. By taking steps to address it, you’re already showing strength and courage. Overcoming the shame of being poor is a process, but every effort you make brings you closer to seeing yourself for the resilient, valuable person you truly are. You’ve got this.
