Every generation brings something new to relationships, but Gen X had to navigate marriage before dating apps, social media, and endless online advice.
As a result, they built skills through trial and error, patience, and a lot of face-to-face communication. That also means they approach relationships in a different (and some would say better) way than younger generations. Here are 14 Gen X marriage skills that Gen Z can — and should — consider adopting in their own lives, even if they seem a bit old-fashioned.
1. Talking things out face-to-face
Before instant messaging and social media, if Gen X couples had a problem, they had to talk it out in person. There was no disappearing behind a screen or leaving someone on read. This forced them to deal with issues directly and work through awkward conversations. While texting has its perks, face-to-face chats can clear misunderstandings faster and build deeper trust.
2. Keeping some things private
Gen X knew how to keep their relationship off display. There was no urge to share every date night or argument online. They valued privacy and understood that not everything needed an audience. It helped them focus on each other rather than on how their relationship looked to other people. Sometimes, the healthiest connections are the ones kept away from public scrutiny.
3. Showing love through small, consistent gestures
Grand romantic gestures are lovely, but Gen X mastered the art of everyday acts of love — a handwritten note, a cup of coffee in bed, or simply being there when needed. These small, consistent gestures built a foundation of reliability and care. While grand displays are fun, it’s the little things that make a relationship feel steady and warm.
4. Having patience during rough patches
Gen X didn’t grow up with the idea that there was always someone “better” a swipe away. If things got tough, they focused on working through the problems rather than immediately looking for an exit. Having patience allowed them to grow through challenges instead of running from them. Sticking it out and learning to compromise can strengthen a relationship more than avoiding conflict ever will.
5. Spending quality time without distractions
Gen X couples had to spend time together without smartphones buzzing every two minutes. Whether it was a walk in the park, a board game, or a long chat over dinner, they gave each other their full attention. That undivided focus helped build stronger connections. Putting phones away and being fully present with each other is a simple habit that makes a big difference.
6. Valuing independence within the relationship
Gen X understood that being married didn’t mean losing yourself. They maintained separate hobbies, friendships, and interests. Their independence kept their relationships from feeling stifling and allowed each partner to grow individually. Having your own life outside of the relationship can actually make your connection stronger and more interesting.
7. Having real, uninterrupted date nights
Before the era of endless notifications and social media updates, date nights were sacred. Gen X couples set aside time to be together without interruptions. No checking messages, no scrolling — just enjoying each other’s company. Bringing this focus back into modern relationships can help create meaningful memories and remind you why you enjoy being together.
8. Writing heartfelt notes and letters
In the days before emojis and quick DMs, expressing feelings often meant writing a heartfelt note or letter. It took effort, thought, and vulnerability. Gen X couples knew the impact of receiving something personal and sincere. A thoughtfully written message — even a sticky note left on the fridge — can feel more meaningful than the quickest text.
9. Knowing how to agree to disagree
Gen X realised that you don’t have to see eye-to-eye on everything to have a healthy relationship. They knew how to respect each other’s opinions without making every disagreement a dealbreaker. Learning to accept differences gracefully keeps minor conflicts from escalating. Sometimes, agreeing to disagree is the best way to keep the peace.
10. Sticking to commitments even when it’s tough
Source: Unsplash For Gen X, commitment wasn’t something to take lightly. If they made a promise, they did their best to keep it, even when it wasn’t easy. They understood that real commitment means showing up, especially during the tough times. While not every relationship is meant to last, showing dedication and effort can make all the difference.
11. Picking up the phone and calling
Source: Unsplash Gen X didn’t have the luxury of endless texting, so if they wanted to connect, they called. Hearing someone’s voice creates a level of intimacy and clarity that messages can’t always capture. Picking up the phone to check in or have a conversation can cut through misunderstandings and show that you care enough to make the effort.
12. Working through misunderstandings without ghosting
Source: Unsplash Ghosting wasn’t an option for Gen X. If there was a problem or someone needed space, they communicated that directly. Avoiding the temptation to disappear and instead facing misunderstandings head-on shows maturity and respect. Being clear about your feelings, even when it’s uncomfortable, can save both people a lot of confusion and hurt.
13. Showing respect, even during arguments
Source: Unsplash Disagreements are normal, but Gen X knew how to argue without tearing each other down. They focused on the issue at hand rather than making personal attacks. This respect kept arguments productive and avoided long-term damage. Keeping things respectful, even when you’re angry, helps protect the relationship and encourages healthy communication.
14. Celebrating milestones, big and small
Source: Unsplash Gen X couples didn’t just wait for major anniversaries to celebrate. They acknowledged smaller milestones — like the first date, a promotion, or simply making it through a tough week. These little celebrations kept the relationship feeling special. Recognising and appreciating these moments can create lasting memories and keep the spark alive.
Why these skills matter
While times have changed, the fundamentals of strong relationships haven’t. These Gen X marriage skills offer valuable lessons in communication, patience, and authenticity. Incorporating even a few of these habits can help build deeper, more meaningful connections. After all, some things never go out of style — like genuine effort, respect, and showing up for each other.
