When someone’s going through a tough time, the first thing to be sacrificed is usually self-care.
Whether they’re under a tremendous amount of stress, dealing with the illness or loss of a loved one, or dealing with any other trauma or tough time, it’s only natural that looking after themselves won’t be their first priority. Unfortunately, when they start to neglect themselves, it becomes clear to everyone around them that they’re not in a very good place. If you notice these signs in someone you care about, check in with them and see how they’re doing and if there’s something you could do to help out. They deserve to feel good and treat themselves well, and if they’re not, something needs to be done about it.
1. Their appearance becomes noticeably different.
If someone who usually pays attention to their grooming starts skipping showers, wearing the same clothes, or neglecting to brush their hair, it could be a sign they’re struggling. While everyone has days when they’re just not feeling it, a sudden and consistent shift in their appearance might indicate they’re going through something deeper. If you notice this happening, it’s worth checking in with them to see how they’re feeling inside, as it could be a sign they’re neglecting their own wellness.
2. They’re suddenly disinterested in socialising.
Is your friend or family member pulling away from social situations? Are they cancelling plans or avoiding calls? Social isolation often happens when people are overwhelmed or mentally drained. It’s not always that they don’t want to be around you — it’s that they’re feeling too tired or emotionally drained to engage. Rather than taking it personally, try to reach out and offer your support. Sometimes, just a simple “How are you really doing?” can make them feel seen and cared for.
3. Their eating habits change dramatically.
Have you noticed your loved one skipping meals, overeating, or reaching for junk food more than usual? These changes in eating habits can be a sign they’re not prioritising self-care. Sometimes food becomes an afterthought during stressful times, or they might turn to emotional eating to cope. On the other hand, they might lose interest in food altogether. Either way, these shifts could point to an internal struggle that needs addressing, and they may need your support to get back on track.
4. They’re tired all the time or have no energy.
Chronic exhaustion can be a huge red flag that someone isn’t looking after themselves properly. If they’re always tired, even after a full night’s sleep, it could be because they’re not making rest a priority, or they’re overworking themselves. Stress and emotional strain often lead to sleep disturbances or a lack of quality sleep, which only makes everything harder. If this sounds like someone you care about, suggest a break or offer to help with daily tasks to take some of the pressure off them.
5. They’re not interested in the things they used to be passionate about.
When someone stops caring about hobbies or activities they once loved, it’s often a sign of emotional burnout or mental exhaustion. You might notice they’re no longer excited about things that once brought them joy, or they’re not talking about their usual interests anymore. It’s a sign that they might be feeling disconnected from life or overwhelmed by everything going on around them. Offering an invitation to join in on something they once loved without pressuring them can help spark a little light in a dark time.
6. Their home or workspace becomes messy or disorganised.
If the clutter starts piling up or the space feels chaotic, especially when they’re usually pretty tidy and organised, it could be a sign they’re feeling overwhelmed. A messy home or workspace often reflects the state of someone’s mind. If they’re struggling, they might lack the energy or motivation to keep things organised. It can create a cycle of stress and frustration. Offering to help them tidy up a bit or just being there to help with a small task can take a bit of the burden off their shoulders.
7. They’re avoiding responsibilities or commitments.
If they’re forgetting appointments, missing deadlines, or avoiding responsibilities, it’s likely because they’re mentally and emotionally drained. When someone’s struggling, managing daily tasks can feel like a huge mountain to climb. That doesn’t mean they’re lazy — it’s a sign that they’re overwhelmed. Gently offering to help with things like making phone calls, running errands, or breaking down tasks into manageable steps can make it easier for them to take small actions without feeling like everything is piling up.
8. Their mood becomes more irritable or unpredictable.
Have you noticed them being more snappy, frustrated, or overly emotional lately? Emotional instability is often a sign of stress, fatigue, or neglecting self-care. When someone is struggling, even small things can set them off. If their reactions seem out of character, it’s a sign they might be bottling up stress or dealing with underlying issues. Patience and understanding are key in these situations. Let them know you’re there to listen when they’re ready to talk.
9. They seem constantly distracted or forgetful.
If they’re having trouble focusing or seem forgetful, it could be because they’re mentally exhausted. Stress, lack of sleep, or emotional overload can leave them feeling mentally scattered. If this is happening, gently offer to help them prioritise tasks or manage their to-do list to ease some of the mental load they’re carrying. Sometimes, just being there to help them focus on what’s important can make a big difference in how they feel.
10. They’re turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Excessive drinking, smoking, or binge-watching TV might be their way of escaping from reality for a little while. While these behaviours can offer temporary relief, they’re usually signs that someone is avoiding their problems. Encouraging healthier ways to cope, like going for a walk, journaling, or having a really honest conversation, can help them develop more constructive habits. It’s important not to judge, but instead offer alternatives that might provide longer-lasting relief.
11. Making decisions is suddenly overwhelming for them.
If making even small decisions feels overwhelming for them, it could be a sign that their mental resources are being drained. Decision fatigue happens when someone is stretched too thin and hasn’t had a chance to recharge. When someone can’t even decide what to have for dinner, it’s a sign that they might need help breaking things down into smaller, more manageable steps. Offering your support with decision-making or even just gently guiding them through options can help alleviate some of the pressure they’re feeling.
12. They’re neglecting GP appointments.
Skipping doctor’s appointments or ignoring symptoms can be a subtle but serious sign that they’re not taking care of themselves. When someone is under a lot of stress, their physical health often takes a back seat. Encourage them to prioritise their health or offer to go with them to appointments. Small acts of support like this can help them feel less alone and more empowered to take care of themselves.
13. They don’t want to ask for help, even though they know they need it.
Some people resist asking for help, whether because they don’t want to burden anyone, they feel too proud, or they just don’t realise how much they need it. If they’re struggling but not asking for support, make sure they know you’re available, no strings attached. Sometimes, just knowing that someone cares and is there for them can make a world of difference.
14. They seem disconnected from themselves and everyone around them.
If someone feels emotionally distant or detached, it could be a sign that they’re burning out. When someone is overwhelmed, they may disconnect from their own feelings, making it harder for them to connect with other people as well. A simple gesture like reaching out with kindness or spending quality time together can remind them they’re not alone in whatever they’re going through. Being there, without judgement, can help them start to reconnect with both themselves and the people around them.
