Everyone has moments where they feel like they’re not good enough, but when those thoughts start to take over, they can be tough to shake.
It’s pretty easy to get stuck in a loop of self-doubt, convincing yourself that you don’t matter or that nothing you do is important. But just because your brain is telling you something doesn’t mean it’s true. If you’ve been struggling with feelings of worthlessness, asking yourself these questions might help you see things from a different perspective.
1. Would I talk to a friend the way I talk to myself?
If someone you care about came to you feeling the way you do, would you tell them they’re worthless? Probably not. You’d remind them of their strengths, reassure them that they matter, and encourage them to be kinder to themselves. So why do you think you deserve any less? It’s easy to be your own worst critic, but self-talk matters. The way you speak to yourself shapes the way you see yourself. Try flipping the script and treating yourself with the same kindness and patience you’d give someone you love.
2. Am I basing my worth on unrealistic expectations?
Sometimes, feelings of worthlessness come from setting impossible standards for yourself. You might feel like you’re not successful enough, not attractive enough, or not achieving as much as other people. But are you expecting perfection? And if so, is that really fair? Life isn’t a competition, and worth isn’t measured by how much you accomplish. The fact that you exist, that you’re here, trying, learning, and growing, is enough. You don’t have to earn the right to feel worthy — you already are.
3. Who told me I wasn’t good enough?
Negative beliefs don’t appear out of nowhere. Often, they come from past experiences — things people have said, ways you were treated, or comparisons that made you feel like you weren’t enough. But just because someone made you feel unworthy doesn’t mean they were right. Ask yourself: whose voice am I actually hearing when I doubt myself? A teacher? A parent? A past relationship? Once you recognise where these thoughts come from, you can start questioning whether they actually hold any truth.
4. Am I focusing only on what I lack?
When you feel worthless, your brain tends to zoom in on all the things you think you’re missing. Maybe you don’t have the career you want yet, the relationship you hoped for, or the confidence you wish you had. But what about everything you do have? Worth isn’t just about achievements or external success. You have qualities that make you valuable — kindness, humour, resilience, creativity, empathy. If you only focus on what’s missing, you’ll always feel like you’re not enough. Try shifting your focus to what you bring to the table.
5. What small things have I done that made a difference?
It’s easy to dismiss your impact because you assume it has to be huge to matter. But small moments — making someone laugh, helping a friend, being there for someone when they needed support — can mean more than you realise. Think about times when you made someone’s day a little better. Even if it was just offering kind words or holding the door for someone, it still mattered. You don’t have to change the world to have value. You already make a difference in ways you probably don’t even see.
6. Am I comparing my behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel?
Social media and even real-life comparisons make it easy to feel like you’re failing. You see people posting about their accomplishments, their perfect relationships, and their amazing adventures, and suddenly, your life feels tiny in comparison. But are you seeing the whole picture? People share the best parts of their lives, not their struggles, insecurities, or bad days. You don’t see their self-doubt, their failures, or the nights they lie awake questioning everything. Comparing yourself to a filtered version of someone else’s life will never give you an accurate view of your own worth.
7. Have I been taking care of myself?
When you feel bad about yourself, it’s easy to stop taking care of your needs physically, emotionally, or mentally. But neglecting yourself only makes those feelings worse. When was the last time you ate something nutritious, got outside, or did something you genuinely enjoy? Sometimes, feelings of worthlessness are tied to burnout, exhaustion, or just not giving yourself the care you need. You’re not lazy, broken, or failing — you might just be running on empty. Taking small steps to care for yourself can make a bigger difference than you think.
8. Would my younger self be proud of me?
Think back to yourself as a kid. That version of you had dreams, hopes, and a sense of curiosity about the world. Would they be proud of how far you’ve come? Would they see the strength you’ve shown in getting through tough times? Your younger self wouldn’t care about job titles, social status, or how perfect your life looks. They’d be amazed by the things you’ve learned, the experiences you’ve had, and the ways you’ve grown. Try seeing yourself through their eyes for a change.
9. Am I expecting myself to be okay all the time?
Feeling down sometimes doesn’t mean you’re broken; it means you’re human. Nobody feels confident, happy, and secure every single day. If you’re struggling, it doesn’t mean you’re weak or worthless. It just means you’re going through something hard. You’re allowed to have bad days, to feel lost, or to doubt yourself. But that doesn’t define your worth. Struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing — it just means you’re in the middle of figuring things out.
10. Who in my life makes me feel good about myself?
Some people lift you up, while others make you feel small. If you’re surrounded by people who criticise, belittle, or drain you, it’s no wonder you’re struggling with self-worth. The company you keep has a huge impact on how you see yourself. Think about the people who genuinely care about you, who remind you of your strengths, and who appreciate you just as you are. If someone wouldn’t treat you with kindness, they don’t deserve space in your life, or in your head.
11. What have I survived that I don’t give myself enough credit for?
Everyone has gone through challenges — heartbreak, loss, disappointments, failures. But if you’re still here, still trying, still getting up every morning, that says something about you. You’ve made it through things you once thought you couldn’t. Your struggles don’t define you, but the fact that you keep going despite them does. You’re stronger than you realise, even if you don’t feel like it right now.
12. Have I been looking for proof that I’m worthless?
When you feel down on yourself, your brain starts looking for “evidence” that confirms it. You focus on failures, mistakes, or things people have said, completely ignoring all the proof that contradicts those thoughts. What if, just for a moment, you looked for proof that you do matter? The times people appreciated you, the moments you made someone smile, the ways you’ve improved over time. Your brain will find what you focus on, so why not look for reasons to believe in yourself?
13. Am I mistaking temporary feelings for permanent truths?
Feeling worthless doesn’t mean you are worthless; it just means you’re having a rough time. Emotions can be overwhelming, but they’re not set in stone. Just because you feel unimportant today doesn’t mean you’ll feel this way forever. Think about other times in your life when you felt low — did that feeling last forever? Probably not. Your emotions shift and change, just like the weather. This moment of doubt is just that — a moment. It doesn’t define you, and it won’t last forever.
14. What if I’m actually more valuable than I think?
What if, just for a second, you entertained the idea that you do matter? That the way you see yourself isn’t entirely accurate? That the negative thoughts in your head aren’t the full truth? Imagine if the people who care about you are right when they say you’re important. Self-doubt is loud, but that doesn’t mean it’s telling the truth. Just because you feel worthless sometimes doesn’t mean you are. The fact that you’re even questioning this shows that you care about your existence, which is proof that you deserve to be here. You matter — probably more than you realise.
