Selflessness is seen as a positive quality, while prioritising yourself seems all but taboo these days (even though that’s everyone’s default mode).
However, as important as it is to be generous and kind, it’s just as crucial to look after yourself and make sure you’re not trying to pour from an empty cup. Here’s why putting other people first all the time is a really bad idea.
1. Your emotional reservoir runs dry.
Constantly prioritising everyone else’s needs leaves little room for your own mental and emotional health. Without replenishing your emotional reserves, you risk burnout and compassion fatigue, ultimately rendering you unable to help anyone effectively.
2. Personal growth takes a back seat.
Source: Unsplash When you’re always focused on other people, your own development comes to a grinding halt. Skills remain unsharpened, passions unexplored, and potential untapped. This self-neglect stunts your personal growth and limits the value you can bring to your relationships and community in the long run.
3. Boundaries become blurred.
You end up agreeing to commitments that clash with your values or overextending yourself to please other people, and for what? A lack of clear boundaries can lead to resentment, stress, and a loss of self-identity, and that’s not what anyone wants.
4. Your authenticity fades.
In the pursuit of meeting everyone else’s expectations, your true self can get lost in the shuffle. You might start to mould your personality, opinions, and even dreams to fit what you think other people want from you. In the end, you just feel disconnected and pretty down.
5. Decision-making becomes a struggle.
Source: Unsplash When you’re that used to prioritising everyone else, making decisions for yourself can feel daunting. You might second-guess your choices or feel guilty for considering your own needs, both of which can paralyse you in crucial moments, preventing you from seizing opportunities that could make your life better.
6. Relationships become unbalanced.
Ironically, always putting other people first can strain relationships instead of improving them. It sets an unsustainable precedent where people come to expect your constant sacrifice. Such a huge imbalance can breed resentment on your part and entitlement in other people, ultimately damaging the very connections you’re trying to nurture.
7. Your health takes a hit.
Neglecting your own needs often translates to neglecting your physical health. Skipping meals to help a friend, losing sleep to finish a colleague’s project, or postponing doctor’s appointments to accommodate other people’s schedules can have serious long-term consequences for your health.
8. Career progression slows down.
Source: Unsplash In professional settings, putting other people’s tasks or comfort over your own goals can hinder your career advancement. You might miss out on opportunities for growth, fail to showcase your skills, or be overlooked for promotions because you’re too busy supporting everyone else’s success.
9. Your creativity withers.
Creative pursuits require time, energy, and a certain level of self-indulgence. When you’re constantly catering to other people’s needs, your creative well runs dry. Ideas remain unexplored, projects unfinished, and your unique voice stifled. This suppression of creativity can lead to a profound sense of unfulfillment and loss of identity.
10. Financial stability becomes shaky.
People-pleasing can come with some serious financial implications. Whether it’s lending money you can’t afford to spare, sacrificing career opportunities for other people’s convenience, or spending on people at the expense of your own necessities, this behaviour can jeopardise your financial health and future security.
11. Your self-confidence is slowly but surely destroyed.
Continually prioritising everyone else sends a subconscious message that your needs and opinions are less valuable. Over time, this can severely undermine your self-confidence. You might start to doubt your own judgement, hesitate to voice your thoughts, or feel unworthy of success and happiness.
12. Resentment builds silently.
While you might not acknowledge it immediately, resentment is almost guaranteed when your needs and desires always take a back seat to everyone else’s. It can simmer beneath the surface, poisoning your relationships and overall outlook on life. Left unchecked, it can lead to sudden outbursts or the abrupt ending of long-standing relationships.
13. Life satisfaction plummets.
Source: Unsplash When you’re always focused on meeting other people’s needs, you might wake up one day realising you’ve lost sight of your own dreams and aspirations. This disconnection from your personal goals and desires can lead to a profound sense of dissatisfaction with life, leaving you wondering where your own joy and fulfilment have gone.
14. You become a bad role model.
Source: Unsplash By consistently neglecting your own needs, you inadvertently set a problematic example for those around you, especially younger people in your life. This behaviour perpetuates the cycle of self-neglect and can influence other people to devalue their own needs and well-being, creating a ripple effect of imbalanced relationships and personal struggles.
