When you’ve been through trauma, or you’re experiencing mental health issues, you may eventually become emotionally numb.
It’s your body’s way of trying to protect you from the stress that heavy emotions often bring with them, but it also means you can never process your experiences and come through the other side as a happier, healthier you. What’s worse, it can be hard to tell when emotional numbness sets in. However, if you relate to any of these experiences, you may want to chat with your GP or a therapist or counsellor.
1. You rarely feel strong emotions, whether positive or negative.
Emotional numbness often manifests as a general lack of intense feelings. You might notice that you don’t experience the highs of joy or the lows of sadness as strongly as you once did. Your emotional flatness can make life feel dull and meaningless. To overcome this, try doing things that once brought you joy, even if you don’t feel like it initially.
2. You struggle to connect with people on an emotional level.
Struggling to form or maintain deep emotional connections is a common sign of numbness. You might feel detached from friends and family, unable to empathise or share in their emotional experiences. To address this, practise active listening and try to be present in your interactions, even if you don’t feel an immediate emotional response.
3. You often feel like you’re just going through the motions.
Life might feel like a series of routines without any real engagement or enthusiasm. The sense of ‘autopilot’ can be a clear indicator of emotional numbness. To combat this, try introducing small changes to your routine or setting new, achievable goals to reignite a sense of purpose.
4. You have trouble identifying or expressing your feelings.
When asked how you feel, you might struggle to find an answer beyond ‘fine’ or ‘okay’. Not being able to recognise or articulate emotions is a hallmark of numbness. Practise emotional literacy by regularly checking in with yourself and trying to name your feelings, even if they seem faint at first.
5. You often use distractions to avoid dealing with emotions.
Constantly keeping busy or using distractions like excessive work, social media, or substances to avoid feelings can be a sign of emotional numbness. To address this, try setting aside time for quiet reflection or meditation, allowing yourself to sit with your thoughts and feelings without judgment.
6. You feel disconnected from your body and physical sensations.
Emotional numbness can extend to physical sensations, leading to a feeling of disconnection from your own body. Getting stuck in to physical activities like yoga, dance, or even simple stretching can help reconnect you with your body and, in turn, your emotions.
7. You have a hard time remembering major life events.
Emotional numbness can affect memory, particularly of events that should have emotional importance. If you struggle to recall important moments in your life, it might be due to a lack of emotional engagement. Keeping a journal or creating a memory box can help you reconnect with these experiences.
8. You often feel empty or hollow inside.
A persistent feeling of emptiness or hollowness is a common experience of emotional numbness. The void can be distressing in itself. Exploring creative outlets like art, music, or writing can help you express and process these feelings, potentially filling that inner emptiness.
9. You find it hard to make decisions or have strong opinions.
Without clear emotional cues, decision-making and forming opinions can become challenging. You might feel indifferent to choices that once mattered to you. Practise making small decisions daily and reflecting on how they make you feel, gradually building up to more important choices.
10. You feel detached from your surroundings, as if you’re observing life from afar.
This sense of detachment, sometimes described as feeling like you’re watching your life through a window, is a clear sign of emotional numbness. Grounding exercises, such as focusing on your five senses in the present moment, can help reconnect you with your environment and emotions.
11. You have trouble feeling empathy or compassion for other people.
Emotional numbness can make it hard to relate to other people’s feelings or experiences. If you find yourself unmoved by situations that would typically evoke empathy, it might indicate numbness. Volunteer work or doing acts of kindness can help reawaken your capacity for compassion.
12. You struggle to find meaning or purpose in life.
A lack of emotional engagement can lead to a sense of purposelessness. Everything might seem pointless or unimportant. Exploring new interests, setting personal goals, or attending therapy can help you rediscover a sense of meaning and purpose.
13. You don’t get any pleasure from doing things you once loved.
Loss of enjoyment, known as anhedonia, is a common symptom of emotional numbness. Try revisiting old hobbies or exploring new ones, giving yourself permission to go for it even if you don’t feel immediate enjoyment. Over time, you might rediscover joy in these activities.
14. You often feel like you’re not really ‘there’ in your own life.
The sense of unreality or disconnection from your own experiences can be really stressful and upsetting. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation or focused breathing exercises, can help bring you back to the present moment and reconnect you with your experiences and emotions.
