Trust is the foundation of any relationship, whether personal or professional.
However, not everyone has good intentions, and a lot of people might have motives they’re not exactly open and honest about. If you feel like something’s a bit off with someone, here are just a few signs that could indicate they have a hidden agenda and might not be as trustworthy as they seem.
1. They’re overly charming.
Source: Unsplash It’s nice when someone’s kind, but sometimes people lay it on so thick, it makes you wonder. Too much charm could be a tactic to lower your defences. Pay attention to whether their actions actually back up all those sweet words, or if it’s just a way to win you over.
2. They avoid direct answers.
If someone’s constantly dodging straightforward questions or giving you vague answers, there’s probably something they’re hiding. Honest people are usually clear and upfront, while those with ulterior motives tend to keep things foggy.
3. They’re always agreeable — too agreeable, in fact.
Compromise is good, but if someone agrees with absolutely everything you say, it might be because they’re trying to get in your good books for something they want. If they’re never offering their own opinion, it’s worth thinking about why they’re so eager to please.
4. They bring up favours often.
When someone keeps reminding you about what they’ve done for you, it might not be out of the goodness of their heart. It could be a way to make you feel indebted to them. Genuine kindness doesn’t come with a mental tally of favours owed — it’s just given.
5. They’re overly interested in your connections.
When someone seems more focused on who you know than getting to know you, their interest probably isn’t about friendship. If they’re digging into your social circle more than your life, they might just be trying to network, not connect.
6. They downplay your achievements.
Source: Unsplash If they keep subtly downplaying your successes or making you second-guess yourself, it’s a power move. They might want to keep you feeling small, so you rely on them more. It’s a way of manipulating you into being more dependent on their approval.
7. They fish for information but share little.
When someone’s always asking personal questions but refuses to open up about themselves, that’s a big red flag. The conversation shouldn’t always feel one-sided. If they’re gathering info while keeping things tightly sealed about their own life, you’ve got to wonder why.
8. They always have an ulterior motive for helping.
Source: Unsplash Acts of kindness should be, well, kind, but if they’re only helping when it suits them, it’s probably not about generosity. If their favours feel like they’re only offered when there’s something in it for them, that’s a clear sign they’ve got a hidden agenda.
9. They manipulate through guilt.
A person who tries to make you feel guilty for not doing things their way is trying to control you without you even realising it. That kind of emotional manipulation isn’t healthy. In real relationships, guilt trips shouldn’t be a tool to get what someone wants.
10. They’re overly competitive.
Some friendly competition is fine, but if someone’s always comparing themselves to you or trying to one-up you, it could be a sign they’re more concerned with getting ahead than with building a real connection. If it feels like a game, it might just be.
11. They avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
When someone can’t own up to their mistakes or constantly shifts the blame onto other people, it’s a big sign that they’re not trustworthy. People who are always deflecting accountability usually don’t have your best interests at heart. They should be able to own up to their own behaviour.
12. They have a pattern of exploiting people for their own gain.
If you’ve noticed this person taking advantage of people in the past, there’s a good chance they might try the same with you. Patterns like this don’t just disappear. If they’ve manipulated or exploited people before, it’s worth staying cautious about their motives. A tiger rarely changes its stripes, as the old saying goes.
13. They’re overly secretive.
Everyone has their private stuff, but if someone is dodging questions or keeping things too hidden, it’s a red flag. If they’re being overly secretive about important details, it makes you wonder what they don’t want you to know. It’s even worse if they hide things that aren’t even private or sensitive.
14. They’re inconsistent.
If their actions don’t match their words or their behaviour keeps shifting, it could be because they’re juggling their hidden motives while trying to keep up appearances. Trustworthy people are consistent. If things feel all over the place, there’s probably a reason for it.
