Modern marriage rules are a whole lot different to the outdated norms of the 1950s.
Sure, there’s the whole tradwives movement (which, hey, to each their own!), but today’s couples are rewriting the rules and creating partnerships that are all about equality, individuality, and support. So, how can you tell if your relationship is truly modern? See how many of these things apply to your own relationship, and that should tell you a lot.
1. You have open and honest communication about everything.
You don’t shy away from difficult conversations or sweep issues under the rug. You talk openly about your feelings, needs, desires, and concerns. You listen to each other with empathy and respect, even when you disagree. You value honesty and transparency, and you’re not afraid to be vulnerable with each other. It’s almost cliché at this point, but open communication leads to a lot more trust, understanding, and a deeper connection.
2. You support each other’s individual goals and dreams.
You don’t try to mould your partner into someone they’re not or expect them to sacrifice their dreams for the sake of the relationship. You encourage each other to pursue your passions, celebrate each other’s successes, and offer support during challenges. You understand and appreciate that you’re both your own people with unique aspirations, and that supporting each other’s growth is essential for a fulfilling partnership.
3. You share responsibilities equally.
You don’t subscribe to traditional gender roles or expect one person to shoulder all the burdens of household chores, childcare, or financial management. You both contribute equally to the household and share responsibilities based on your individual strengths and preferences. If you want a sense of fairness, equality, and mutual respect in the relationship, sharing the load has to be part of the deal.
4. You make quality time together a priority.
Despite busy schedules and demanding careers, you make time for each other. You schedule regular date nights, weekend getaways, or simply cosy nights in. You disconnect from technology and focus on connecting with each other. You engage in activities you both enjoy and create shared experiences that strengthen your bond and create lasting memories.
5. You respect each other’s boundaries and need for alone time.
You understand that everyone needs time and space to recharge and pursue their own interests. You don’t take it personally if your partner needs some time alone or wants to spend time with their friends or family. You respect their individuality and encourage them to have a life outside of the relationship. Doing creates a healthy sense of independence and prevents the relationship from becoming suffocating.
6. You’re not afraid to challenge each other and grow together.
You don’t shy away from healthy debate or constructive criticism. You see disagreements as an opportunity for growth and learning, not as a threat to your relationship. You challenge each other to think differently, to expand your perspectives, and to become better versions of yourselves. Showing a willingness to grow together keeps the relationship dynamic and exciting.
7. You embrace change and adapt to new challenges together.
Life is full of unexpected twists and turns, and a modern marriage is adaptable and resilient. You face challenges together as a team, supporting each other through difficult times and celebrating victories together. You embrace change and adapt to new circumstances, whether it’s a job loss, a health issue, or simply the natural evolution of your relationship.
8. You never forget about physical intimacy and connection.
You understand that intimacy is not just about what happens in the bedroom; it’s about emotional and physical closeness. You make time for romance and intimacy, and you’re open about your desires and needs. You’re both committed to keeping the spark alive and exploring new ways to deepen your connection, both in and out of the bedroom.
9. You embrace vulnerability and share your true feelings.
You don’t hide behind a facade of perfection or pretend everything is always rosy. You’re open and honest about your emotions, both the good and the bad. You’re not afraid to share your vulnerabilities, fears, and insecurities with your partner. Emotional transparency creates a deeper sense of intimacy and trust in the relationship.
10. You value personal growth and encourage each other to evolve.
You don’t settle for stagnation in your relationship. You both strive for personal growth and development, supporting each other’s goals and aspirations. You encourage each other to learn new things, try new experiences, and step outside your comfort zones. You see each other as individuals with unique potential, and you’re committed to helping each other become the best versions of yourselves.
11. You challenge traditional gender roles and expectations.
You don’t subscribe to outdated notions of what it means to be a husband or wife. You both share responsibilities, pursue your passions, and make decisions together. You don’t limit yourselves to traditional roles, but rather create a dynamic that works best for you as a couple. Flexibility and willingness to challenge the “norm” (which is often BS anyway) paves the way for a more fulfilling and equitable partnership.
12. You put mental and emotional health at the forefront.
You understand that mental and emotional well-being are just as important as physical health. You both make time for self-care, therapy, or counselling if needed. You create a safe space for each other to talk openly about your feelings, struggles, and anxieties. You make your mental and emotional health as individuals and as a couple, a priority because you get that a healthy mind and heart are essential for a thriving relationship.
13. You have a sense of humour and don’t take yourselves too seriously.
You know how to laugh together, even when things get tough. You don’t take yourselves too seriously and can find humour in everyday situations. You appreciate each other’s quirks and can make light of your own shortcomings. The ability to laugh together can totally dissolve tension, strengthen your bond, and make your relationship more enjoyable.
14. You’re willing to adapt and evolve as a couple.
You understand that relationships are dynamic and constantly evolving. You’re not afraid to change your routines, try new things, or redefine your roles as you grow together. You communicate openly about your changing needs and desires, and you’re willing to make adjustments to ensure your relationship remains fulfilling and satisfying for both of you. After all, flexibility and willingness to evolve together is a hallmark of a truly modern marriage.
