To everyone else, you probably seem like you’ve got it all together.
And on many levels, you probably do. However, inside, your mind is a constant hamster wheel that never stops spinning, and you often feel so stressed and tense that you feel like you can’t breathe. This is known as high-functioning anxiety — it doesn’t keep you from living a “normal” life, but it does make it a whole lot harder. Here are some signs this is something you struggle with.
1. You’re always on time—or way too early.
Being punctual feels non-negotiable, but you’re not just “on time”—you’re early enough to triple-check everything. Showing up half an hour before an appointment isn’t about being overly prepared; it’s about avoiding the panicky feeling of running late. You might tell yourself you’re just being responsible, but really, it’s your anxiety driving the habit. Try setting a smaller buffer—say, five or ten minutes—and remind yourself that being a little late won’t end the world.
2. Overthinking is your default setting.
Did you really phrase that email properly? Was your tone off when you said “thanks” earlier? Overthinking isn’t something you do occasionally; it’s a constant. You replay conversations, decisions, and even tiny interactions in your head, trying to make sense of them or fix things that don’t even need fixing. Most of the time, no one else even remembers the details you’re obsessing over. Try asking yourself, “Will this matter a week from now?” If the answer is no, let it go.
3. You look calm, but your mind’s running wild.
On the outside, people see someone composed and in control. Inside, it’s like your brain is hosting an Olympic gymnastics event. There’s always a list of worries, tasks, or “what-ifs” bouncing around. While it might feel like you can’t shut it off, simple tools like deep breathing or grounding exercises can help. Even a few minutes of mindfulness can be enough to give your brain a much-needed breather.
4. You’re ridiculously organised.
Colour-coded calendars? Check. A packing list for every trip? Check. Your organisational skills are next-level, but they’re not just about efficiency—they’re a way to manage the chaos in your mind. It’s comforting to know exactly what’s happening and when. The tricky part is letting go of control and trusting that not everything needs to be planned to perfection. Start small—maybe skip over-planning one day and see how it goes.
5. You excel at saying “yes” to everything.
You’ve got a hard time saying “no”, so you end up overloading yourself. From taking on extra work projects to running errands for friends, you agree to everything, often at your own expense. It’s not because you’re a pushover—you genuinely want to help—but it can leave you exhausted. Try saying, “Let me think about it,” instead of immediately saying yes. It gives you time to assess whether it’s something you really want to take on.
6. Relaxing feels harder than working.
Sitting still, bingeing a series, or just doing nothing? It feels impossible. Your mind starts racing with everything you “should” be doing, and resting feels like wasting time. But here’s the thing: rest isn’t optional—it’s essential. Start with just five guilt-free minutes, whether it’s scrolling through your phone or staring out the window, and work your way up from there. You deserve it.
7. You’ve got the best poker face in the room.
Even when you’re overwhelmed, you can flash a smile and convince everyone you’re fine. People might call you strong, but the truth is, you’re just used to hiding how you feel. While masking emotions can be useful in some situations, it can also isolate you. Letting someone you trust see the real you can be a game-changer—they’ll understand and support you in ways you didn’t know you needed.
8. You always have a plan—and a backup for your backup.
You don’t just bring an umbrella; you’ve got a raincoat, waterproof boots, and a second umbrella just in case. Preparation is your comfort zone, but it can also be exhausting. Sometimes, it’s okay to leave a little room for spontaneity. Start small—maybe skip overpacking for a weekend trip and remind yourself that if something goes wrong, you’ll figure it out.
9. Your inner critic is relentless.
That voice in your head is constantly nitpicking, pointing out every possible flaw or mistake. You hold yourself to impossibly high standards, even when no one else does. Countering this takes practise, but it’s worth it. Try challenging those critical thoughts with more compassionate ones—what would you say to a friend in your position? Start saying it to yourself.
10. You’re constantly busy—even when you don’t need to be.
If you’ve ever reorganised your wardrobe at midnight or scrubbed the kitchen floor just to avoid sitting with your thoughts, you know what this feels like. Being busy keeps your mind occupied, but it also stops you from facing what’s really bothering you. Letting yourself rest or reflect, even for a few minutes, can help you process things instead of just pushing them away.
11. People think you’re a superstar.
You’ve got a reputation for being reliable, hard-working, and high-achieving. While it’s nice to be seen as successful, the pressure to keep up that image can feel overwhelming. Acknowledge your achievements and remind yourself that your value doesn’t depend on constant productivity. You’re more than your to-do list.
12. You notice everything.
From a slight change in someone’s tone to the tiniest detail in a room, nothing escapes your attention. While being observant is a strength, constantly analysing your environment can be draining. Remember that you don’t need to process every single thing—some moments can just pass by without your full attention.
13. You struggle with “just one more thing” syndrome.
You’re great at convincing yourself you can handle just one extra task, but before you know it, your plate is overflowing. It’s a tough habit to break, but learning to pause and prioritise can make a huge difference. Ask yourself: “Does this really need to be done right now?” If it doesn’t, let it wait.
14. You’re great at managing anxiety—until you’re not.
You’ve probably figured out ways to keep your anxiety manageable most of the time, but when life gets overwhelming, those strategies can fall apart. It’s okay to need extra support—it doesn’t mean you’re failing. Reaching out for help, whether it’s a trusted friend or a professional, can be a powerful step toward finding balance.
