It’s great to help people out when they’re in a bind, but it’s not your job to fix everyone’s problems or run their lives for them.
It’s possible to have too much of a good thing, and you might be going overboard and well out of your way to be helpful. Here are some signs this has become a bit of an addiction for you, and you need to step back a bit.
1. You feel guilty when you say no to someone’s request.
Turning down a favour or declining an invitation shouldn’t make you feel like a terrible person. If you experience intense guilt or anxiety when you can’t fulfil someone’s request, it might indicate an unhealthy attachment to helping. Remember, it’s okay to prioritise your own needs and set boundaries.
2. Your own goals and dreams are constantly on the back burner.
Take a moment to reflect on your personal aspirations. When was the last time you actively pursued them? If you find that your own ambitions are perpetually postponed because you’re too busy helping other people, it’s a clear sign that your helping habit has become detrimental to your personal growth.
3. You often feel physically and emotionally drained.
Constantly being there for everyone can take a toll on your energy levels. If you’re frequently exhausted, both physically and mentally, it might be because you’re spreading yourself too thin. Your body and mind are trying to tell you something — it’s time to recharge and focus on self-care.
4. You struggle to enjoy leisure time without feeling unproductive.
Do you find it difficult to relax without feeling guilty or anxious? If you can’t sit through a film or enjoy a hobby without thinking about what you could be doing for someone else, it’s a sign that your helping habit has become compulsive. Leisure time is crucial for your wellbeing and shouldn’t be a source of stress.
5. Your relationships are becoming one-sided.
Healthy relationships involve give and take. If you find that you’re always the one offering support, advice, or assistance, but rarely receive the same in return, it’s time to reassess these connections. A true friendship or partnership should be balanced and mutually supportive.
6. You often neglect your own basic needs.
Are you skipping meals, losing sleep, or neglecting your health to help people? This level of self-sacrifice is unsustainable and potentially harmful. Your own wellbeing should always be a priority. After all, you can’t pour from an empty cup.
7. You feel responsible for other people’s happiness.
While it’s natural to want your loved ones to be happy, it’s not your job to ensure their contentment. If you find yourself constantly trying to fix other people’s problems or boost their mood at the expense of your own peace, you’re taking on an impossible and unhealthy responsibility.
8. You have difficulty identifying and expressing your own needs.
When someone asks how you’re doing, do you struggle to answer honestly? If you’ve become so focused on other people that you’ve lost touch with your own emotions and needs, it’s a sign that your helping habit has gone too far. It’s crucial to maintain a strong sense of self.
9. You’re always the go-to person for favours and advice.
Being reliable is admirable, but if you’re everyone’s first call when they need something, it might be because you’ve cultivated a reputation for never saying no. This can lead to people taking advantage of your generosity, even unintentionally. It’s okay to not always be available.
10. You feel anxious or lost when no one needs your help.
If you find yourself feeling uncomfortable or purposeless when there’s no one to assist, it might indicate that you’ve tied your self-worth too closely to being helpful. Your value as a person isn’t determined by how much you do for other people. It’s important to find fulfilment in simply being, not just doing.
11. You often overcommit and struggle to follow through.
Do you frequently find yourself promising more than you can deliver? Overcommitting is a common issue for those addicted to helping. It can lead to disappointing people and feeling overwhelmed. Learning to realistically assess what you can handle is crucial for maintaining healthy boundaries.
12. You have a hard time accepting help from other people.
Ironically, many people who are always ready to help struggle to accept assistance themselves. If you find it uncomfortable or even impossible to let other people support you, it might be time to examine why. Accepting help is not a sign of weakness; it’s a normal part of human interaction.
13. You often compromise your values to please other people.
If you find yourself agreeing to things that go against your principles or personal boundaries just to make someone else happy, it’s a red flag. Your values and beliefs are fundamental parts of who you are. Consistently compromising them for other people can lead to a loss of self-identity and increased stress.
14. You feel resentful towards the people you help.
Paradoxically, constantly helping people without regard for your own needs can lead to feelings of resentment. If you find yourself feeling bitter or angry towards the very people you’re trying to assist, it’s a clear sign that your helping habit has become unhealthy. It’s crucial to address these feelings and reassess your boundaries.
