It’s not always easy to express how you feel, but if you don’t, it could come back to bite you.
Bottling up your emotions doesn’t just make you feel a bit rubbish, it can also cause a whole host of other unpleasant side effects that ripple throughout the rest of your life. So, how do you know if you’re holding it all in and are in need of a release? Here are a few warning signs to look out for. And as always, if you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist or counsellor, your GP, or even ring Samaritans at 116 123.
1. You just don’t feel very well.
Ever get random headaches, stomach issues, or muscle tension that don’t seem to have a clear cause? Your body might be giving you signs that you’re holding in stress or other emotions. When feelings aren’t properly dealt with, they often show up in the form of physical discomfort. So, if you’ve ruled out medical reasons, it could be your emotions making themselves known.
2. You have trouble sleeping.
If you’re tossing and turning at night, or waking up frequently, it might be because your mind is trying to process emotions you’ve pushed aside during the day. Bottled-up feelings tend to pop up when you’re supposed to be resting, making it tough to get the sleep you need. Unresolved issues can keep your brain spinning when it’s supposed to be winding down.
3. You’re often irritable or snap easily.
If little things are setting you off more than usual, it could be because you’re bottling up your emotions. When we don’t let ourselves feel what we need to feel, frustration tends to leak out in the form of irritability. If you’ve had a short fuse lately, it might be time to figure out what emotions you’ve been avoiding.
4. You avoid conflict like the plague.
If you’re always agreeing with people just to keep the peace, even when you disagree, or if you’re constantly sidestepping any kind of confrontation, it’s a red flag that you’re avoiding dealing with your emotions. Keeping quiet to avoid drama might seem like the easier option in the moment, but it can lead to unresolved feelings piling up.
5. You struggle to figure out how you’re feeling.
Do you ever feel totally blank when someone asks how you’re feeling? If you’ve been pushing your emotions aside for too long, it might become harder to even recognise what you’re feeling. This emotional numbness is your mind’s way of avoiding dealing with the feelings you’ve been bottling up.
6. You’re constantly looking for distractions.
Watching excessive amounts of TV, throwing yourself into work, or keeping busy 24/7 might seem harmless, but they could be ways to avoid facing your emotions. While a little distraction is normal, constantly looking for ways to keep your mind off how you feel can be a sign that you’re trying to escape your own emotions.
7. You have sudden emotional outbursts.
Have you ever found yourself crying or getting angry out of nowhere? When you bottle up emotions for too long, they have a way of erupting unexpectedly. These emotional outbursts might seem random, but they’re often a sign that you’ve been holding in too much for too long.
8. You overthink absolutely everything.
Constantly going over situations in your head without finding any peace could be a sign that you’re not dealing with your feelings. Overthinking can stem from unresolved emotions that keep looping in your mind because you haven’t processed them. You might keep analysing things, hoping for clarity, but it’s your emotions that need attention.
9. You struggle to connect in relationships.
If it’s tough for you to open up or let people get close to you, it could be because you’re holding back emotionally. When we bottle up feelings, it can make us emotionally distant in our relationships. This wall you’ve built to keep emotions in can also keep other people out, making intimacy feel more difficult.
10. You feel tired all the time for no real reason.
Suppressing emotions takes a lot of mental energy, even if you’re not consciously aware of it. If you’re feeling drained more often than usual, it could be emotional exhaustion from constantly holding everything in. It’s like carrying around a weight you don’t even realise is there until it’s too heavy to ignore.
11. You find it hard to make decisions.
When you’re disconnected from your emotions, it can make decision-making feel impossible. You might second-guess yourself or feel stuck, even over small choices. It’s hard to trust your gut when you’re out of touch with your feelings, making every decision feel like a struggle.
12. You rely on unhealthy coping habits.
If you start turning to alcohol, overeating, or other unhealthy habits to get through the day, it could be a sign that you’re using these things to numb your feelings. These coping mechanisms offer temporary relief but don’t address the underlying emotions you’re trying to avoid.
13. You need to control everything all the time.
If you feel the need to micromanage every part of your life, it might be because you’re trying to compensate for the emotions you’re keeping bottled up. Control gives you a sense of security when your emotions feel out of control. But the more you try to control things, the less you actually process what’s going on inside.
14. Your mood swings catch you off guard.
Feeling totally fine one moment and then upset or angry the next, without a clear reason? Those are probably suppressed emotions bubbling up. Even if you think you’ve got your feelings under control, they have a way of leaking out when you least expect it.
