Living with ADHD often feels like an uphill battle, especially when you’re working against it rather than with it.
While it’s not always easy dealing with some of the more unpleasant side effects that can come with this form of neurodivergence, learning to cope with them, adapt to them, and find ways to overcome them. Of course, that’s only possible if you work with your condition rather than against it. If any of these experiences sound familiar to you, chances are, you’ve developed habits and behaviours that are likely making your ADHD symptoms — and potentially your mental and physical health — worse than they have to be.
1. You constantly compare yourself to other people.
If you’re always measuring your productivity, focus, or organisation against people who don’t have ADHD, it’s a sign you might be fighting your natural rhythm. Comparing yourself to those who operate differently can leave you feeling like you’re falling short, even when you’re doing your best. Instead of focusing on how you don’t measure up, try shifting your perspective to what you do bring to the table. ADHD brains are often creative, resourceful, and full of unique ideas. Embracing these strengths can help you appreciate what makes you different rather than seeing it as a disadvantage.
2. You try to force yourself into rigid routines.
Routines can be helpful, but if you’re forcing yourself into schedules that don’t work with how your brain functions, it can feel like a constant struggle. You might find yourself frustrated when you can’t stick to rigid plans or overly detailed lists, which can lead to feelings of failure. Accepting ADHD means creating routines that work for you, not against you. That could mean building in flexibility, using timers or alarms, or focusing on small, manageable steps rather than rigid timelines. It’s about finding what helps you thrive, not forcing yourself into a mould that doesn’t fit.
3. You feel ashamed about needing reminders.
If you’re embarrassed about needing sticky notes, alarms, or other reminders to get through the day, you might be resisting the way your ADHD brain works. Feeling like you should be able to remember everything on your own is an unrealistic expectation that only adds unnecessary pressure. Using reminders isn’t a weakness, it’s a smart way to work with your brain. Tools like phone alerts, to-do apps, or visual cues can help you stay on track without relying solely on memory. Embracing these supports can reduce stress and help you feel more in control.
4. You try to hide your ADHD from people.
Feeling the need to mask your ADHD symptoms or pretend you don’t have challenges is a sign you might be struggling to accept it. Hiding it can feel exhausting and isolating, as though you’re constantly trying to keep up a façade. Accepting your ADHD doesn’t mean broadcasting it to everyone, but it does mean being honest with yourself and the people you trust. Letting people know about your challenges can help them understand you better and make space for more genuine connections.
5. You beat yourself up for procrastinating.
Procrastination is a common ADHD struggle, but fighting against it with self-criticism often makes it worse. You might feel stuck in a cycle of delaying tasks, feeling guilty about it, and then avoiding them even more because the pressure feels overwhelming. Instead of focusing on the guilt, try to understand what’s behind the procrastination. Breaking tasks into smaller, more manageable pieces, or starting with something simple can help you get going. Procrastination isn’t a failure; it’s often your brain’s way of managing overwhelm.
6. You view rest as being lazy.
If you push yourself to be constantly productive and feel guilty about resting, you might be ignoring your ADHD brain’s need for downtime. ADHD often comes with mental fatigue, and taking breaks is essential to recharge and refocus. Resting doesn’t mean you’re lazy; it means you’re giving your brain the care it needs. Allowing yourself time to relax without guilt can actually improve your focus and energy, making it easier to tackle tasks when you’re ready.
7. You ignore your need for movement.
ADHD brains and bodies often crave movement, whether it’s pacing, fidgeting, or taking a walk to clear your head. Ignoring that need and forcing yourself to sit still for long periods can leave you feeling restless and distracted. Incorporating movement into your day, whether it’s standing while working, taking short walks, or using a fidget tool, can help you stay focused and engaged. Embracing your need to get off the couch and get your blood pumping isn’t a distraction; it’s a way to work with your brain’s natural tendencies.
8. You feel like you have to explain yourself constantly.
If you find yourself over-explaining your actions, apologising for small mistakes, or justifying your behaviour, it could be a sign you’re uncomfortable with how ADHD affects you. You might feel like you need to prove you’re trying hard enough or that you’re not careless. Instead of apologising for how your brain works, focus on communicating what you need without guilt. People who care about you will appreciate your effort and understand that ADHD doesn’t make you lazy. In fact, it’s about learning to navigate the world differently.
9. You focus only on your weaknesses.
It’s easy to get stuck on the challenges ADHD brings, like forgetfulness or impulsivity, and overlook the strengths that come with it. Constantly fixating on what you struggle with can leave you feeling like there’s something wrong with you, rather than recognising the unique value you bring. ADHD often comes with creativity, adaptability, and out-of-the-box thinking. Shifting your focus to what you’re good at can help you feel more confident and balanced in how you view yourself. Everyone has challenges, but they don’t define your worth.
10. You rely on “all or nothing” thinking.
All-or-nothing thinking is a common ADHD trap. You might feel like if you can’t do something perfectly, it’s not worth doing at all. Thinking like that can make it hard to start tasks or keep going when things don’t go as planned. Learning to embrace progress over perfection can help you break free from the cycle. Small steps forward are still steps, and doing something imperfectly is often better than not doing it at all. Accepting that can make tackling tasks feel less daunting and more achievable.
11. You resist asking for accommodations.
If you avoid requesting accommodations at work or school, you might be resisting what ADHD truly means for you. You might worry about being seen as incapable or feel like you should be able to handle everything on your own, even when you’re struggling. Accommodations aren’t about making excuses — they’re about creating an environment where you can succeed. Asking for what you need shows self-awareness and strength, not weakness. Everyone works differently, and tailoring your environment to support your needs is a smart and empowering choice.
12. You try to multitask constantly.
While multitasking might seem like a way to get more done, it often backfires for ADHDers. Splitting your focus across multiple tasks can leave you feeling scattered and frustrated, with little to show for your efforts. Focusing on one task at a time, even if it feels counterintuitive, can actually help you work more efficiently. It’s not about doing less, it’s about doing things with intention and giving your brain a chance to fully engage with what’s in front of you.
13. You dismiss the idea of external tools helping you.
If you think you should be able to manage everything in your head without calendars, timers, or apps, you might be fighting against how your ADHD works. Relying on external tools isn’t a failure; it’s a strategy that can help you succeed. Using tools to support your memory and organisation can reduce stress and free up mental energy for more important things. Embracing these tools as part of your routine can help you stay on track and feel more in control of your day.
14. You feel like ADHD is something to “fix.”
If you see ADHD as a flaw that needs correcting, you might be resisting what makes you unique. Trying to “fix” ADHD often means denying its realities and focusing on the negatives, which can leave you feeling frustrated and stuck. Instead of seeing ADHD as something broken, try viewing it as a different way of thinking and experiencing the world. Embracing your ADHD means recognising its challenges while also celebrating its strengths, making life feel more manageable and rewarding.
