Having high standards isn’t inherently bad, but sometimes we can push expectations too far.
Not only will it strain or even ruin your relationships, but it’ll also lead to constant disappointment when people (unsurprisingly) can’t meet your demands. If you relate to any of the following, it’s time to admit your expectations are a tad unrealistic.
1. You’re constantly disappointed by people.
If you’re always feeling let down by friends, family, or coworkers, it could be a sign your expectations are sky-high. Nobody can be perfect all the time, and holding them to impossible standards is bound to leave you frustrated. It’s exhausting for you, and honestly, probably just as exhausting for them.
2. Your list of deal-breakers is a mile long.
It’s fine to have non-negotiables, but if you’re turning away potential friends or partners over minor things, you might be limiting yourself too much. No one’s perfect, and holding out for someone who ticks every box on your list could mean missing out on some great connections.
3. You’re always giving advice, even when no one asked.
You might think you’re helping, but constantly offering advice without being asked can make people feel like they’re not good enough. It’s okay to let people figure things out on their own sometimes – they don’t need a coach for every decision.
4. You hate handing off tasks because you don’t trust other people to get it right.
Struggling to delegate can be a sign that your standards are too high. It’s tempting to think no one else can do it as well as you, but this attitude leaves you swamped and other people feeling undervalued. Sometimes, “good enough” really is good enough.
5. You catch yourself saying, “If you want something done right, do it yourself.”
This mentality might seem efficient, but it’s also isolating. It’s impossible to do everything yourself, and you’re missing out on the perks of teamwork. It’s worth considering that other people can bring different, but still valuable, skills to the table.
6. You notice flaws before anything else.
If your first instinct is to point out what’s wrong, it might be time to rethink your approach. Sure, nothing’s perfect, but focusing only on what needs fixing stops you from appreciating the positives. Try flipping the script and looking for what’s going right.
7. You deflect compliments rather than accepting them.
Source: Unsplash If you brush off praise or downplay your achievements, you might be holding yourself to impossible standards. Accepting compliments is tough when you never feel like you’re good enough. But here’s the thing: people are seeing what you’re not, and it’s time you let yourself enjoy that.
8. You get stressed out by other people’s behaviour.
If you’re constantly annoyed or anxious about how people behave, it could be because you’re holding them to unrealistic standards. You can’t control what everyone else does, so learning to manage your reactions will save you a lot of grief.
9. You don’t have many close friends.
Source: Unsplash If you find it hard to maintain close relationships, it might be because people feel judged or not good enough around you. High expectations can push people away, leaving you feeling isolated. Take a step back and see if you’re creating space for connection, not just perfection.
10. You feel the need to “fix” everyone around you.
Source: Unsplash If you’re always trying to change people, it’s a sign you might not be accepting them as they are. Relationships aren’t about projects; people don’t need to be “fixed.” Focusing on who they are, rather than who you want them to be, might make your connections much more meaningful.
11. You use absolutes like “always” and “never” a lot.
Source: Unsplash Throwing around absolutes like “You always do this” or “You never listen” tends to paint people into a corner. It’s not just unfair – it’s usually not even true. Try giving people a little more wiggle room; nobody’s perfect all the time.
12. You can never be happy for other people.
It’s tough to genuinely celebrate someone else’s success if your standards are through the roof. You might feel like their achievements don’t meet your expectations. But learning to share in their happiness can make your relationships stronger and more rewarding.
13. You often feel like the victim in situations.
If you’re always feeling let down or wronged, it might be because you’re expecting too much from other people. Shifting your mindset from victim to participant might help you see things more clearly and open up better ways to resolve issues.
14. You have trouble accepting help.
Struggling to accept help often comes from the fear that other people won’t do it right. This leaves you stressed and overworked. Letting go of the need for control and accepting help can lighten your load and show you that other people are capable too.
