Stress affects everyone, but some people cope (or, don’t!) in ways that make things way worse.
There’s no one right way to deal with the pressures that pile up on us in life, but there are certain habits and behaviours we sometimes slip into thinking they’ll help us, when in reality, they do the exact opposite and make us feel a million times worse. If these signs hit a little too close to home, it might be time for a reset. You’re not very good at handling stress if these sound familiar to you, but the good news is that it doesn’t have to be that way—you can do something about it.
1. You snap at people over tiny things.
When you’re not managing stress well, even the smallest inconvenience can feel like the last straw. You might lash out at someone for asking a simple question, or get irrationally upset over things that normally wouldn’t bother you. You’re not purposely trying to be rude, but your system is clearly overloaded. With no emotional buffer left, even everyday interactions can feel like pressure. The snapping is just a sign your body’s begging for relief.
2. You avoid everything on your to-do list.
Stress can make you freeze up instead of act. Tasks pile up, but instead of tackling them, you scroll, nap, or completely check out. It feels better in the moment, but worse later when everything’s still sitting there. It’s a form of self-protection that ends up creating more anxiety. The more you avoid, the more stressful things become, and the cycle just repeats itself until you feel completely stuck.
3. You feel exhausted but can’t sleep to save your life.
Your body’s wiped, but your brain won’t turn off. You lie in bed replaying conversations, making lists in your head, or worrying about things that haven’t even happened yet. That’s classic stress overload. Your nervous system’s too revved up to let you rest, which just keeps draining your energy and making everything harder to deal with the next day.
4. You constantly catastrophise the future.
When stress takes over, it’s easy to spiral into worst-case thinking. One bad email means you’re about to get fired. One unread text means someone’s mad. Every problem feels like a massive disaster waiting to happen. You’re not just being dramatic here; it’s how stress distorts your perception. Everything feels more urgent and threatening than it really is, which makes it hard to stay grounded or problem-solve logically.
5. You use distractions to avoid how you feel.
Whether it’s binge-watching, endless scrolling, or snacking when you’re not even hungry, you might lean on distractions to numb out stress. It gives temporary relief, sure, but doesn’t address what’s underneath. It’s not that you’re lazy or undisciplined. It’s just easier to lose yourself in something mindless than to sit with discomfort. However, as time goes on, avoiding your feelings can build up more tension than it relieves.
6. You take everything personally.
When you’re under a lot of stress, even neutral comments can feel like criticism. Someone’s silence might feel like rejection. Someone’s bad mood becomes your fault. It’s not because you’re overly sensitive, per se. More likely, it’s because your nervous system is already stretched thin. Stress puts you on high alert, making it harder to separate your emotional response from what’s actually happening.
7. You try to control every little detail.
Some people respond to stress by tightening their grip. You might over-plan, micromanage, or obsess over routines just to feel like something’s in your control. That kind of control is comforting in chaos, but it often ends up making you more anxious. Because the truth is, no amount of planning can fully erase the unknown, and fighting it all the time just wears you down.
8. You completely shut down in overwhelm.
When things get too intense, your instinct might be to disconnect completely. You stop replying to messages, ignore deadlines, and isolate yourself just to cope with the feeling of drowning. That shutdown isn’t laziness—it’s survival. Your body’s trying to protect you from burning out even more, but it often leads to deeper disconnection and more to clean up later on.
9. You can’t remember the last time you relaxed properly.
If true rest feels foreign to you, that’s a red flag. You might take days off but still feel tense the entire time, mentally running through tasks or feeling guilty for not being productive. Stress robs you of your ability to feel calm even when you should be unwinding. When your default state is tension, you forget what it’s like to feel genuinely at ease.
10. You rely too heavily on caffeine or sugar to keep going.
When you’re running on stress, you often reach for quick fixes. That extra coffee, snack, or energy drink becomes your go-to when your body and brain are screaming for a break. These boosts might give you a temporary lift, but they also mask how depleted you really are. Eventually, the crash comes, and it usually hits harder when you’ve been pushing past your limits for too long.
11. You get physical symptoms you can’t explain.
Stress doesn’t just live in your mind—it hits your body too. You might get tension headaches, stomach issues, tight shoulders, or feel constantly on edge with no obvious reason. These symptoms are your body’s way of waving a flag. When stress isn’t managed, it will find a way to express itself physically. The signs are there—you just have to pay attention to them.
12. You keep telling yourself it’s “just a busy phase.”
Minimising your stress is a common coping tactic. You convince yourself things will calm down soon, even though this “phase” has been going on for months—or even years. Downplaying your burnout doesn’t make it go away. It just delays the moment you finally allow yourself to stop, reflect, and figure out how to manage things more sustainably.
13. You struggle to enjoy things you used to love.
Stress can drain the joy out of hobbies, relationships, and even moments that should feel good. You might still go through the motions, but they don’t feel as satisfying or fun anymore. That emotional flatness is a sign your system is stretched too thin. When you’re constantly in survival mode, pleasure gets pushed aside, and you can start to feel numb without fully realising it.
14. You secretly feel like you’re always failing.
When stress becomes your norm, it’s easy to feel like you’re constantly falling short—no matter how much you do. You could accomplish ten things and still fixate on the one you missed. That chronic sense of inadequacy isn’t about your abilities—it’s about being stuck in a cycle where rest feels undeserved and pressure feels constant. Breaking that mindset takes more than a day off. It takes real self-awareness and care.
