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Confidence isn’t necessarily something we’re all born with, but with hard work, everyone can hone it.

This doesn’t mean walking around strutting your stuff or trying to act like you’ve got everything under control when you’re secretly a hot mess. Instead, true confidence is about how you feel about yourself, how you carry yourself, and how you interact with the world around you and the people in it. There are a lot of things confident people do to maintain their sense of self, but here are some things you’ll never catch them doing.

1. They don’t rely on validation or assurance from anyone else.

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Confident people know their worth and don’t need external approval to feel good about themselves. They don’t rely on likes, comments, or compliments to boost their self-esteem, either. Instead, they find validation within themselves, through their own achievements and self-reflection.

2. They don’t compare themselves to other people.

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The comparison game is totally pointless, and it’s also a recipe for unhappiness. Confident people understand that everyone is on their own unique path, with different strengths and weaknesses. They focus on their own journey, celebrating their achievements and learning from their mistakes, rather than constantly measuring themselves against other people.

3. They don’t dwell on past mistakes.

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Everyone makes mistakes, but confident people don’t let them define them. They learn from their mistakes, move on, and don’t let past failures hold them back. They understand that dwelling on the past only hinders their progress and prevents them from reaching their full potential.

4. They don’t fear failure.

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As cheesy as it sounds, confident people see failure as an opportunity for growth and learning. They don’t let the fear of failure paralyse them or prevent them from taking risks again in the future. They embrace challenges, knowing that even if things don’t work out, they’ll gain valuable experience and knowledge along the way.

5. They don’t put people down to make themselves feel/look better.

Liubomyr Vorona

Confident people don’t feel the need to belittle or criticize anyone else to feel superior — in fact, they know it would have the opposite effect and just make them look insecure and petty. Instead, they focus on encouraging people and giving genuine compliments. They understand that true confidence comes from within, not from tearing anyone else down.

6. They don’t make excuses.

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People with abundant confidence take responsibility for their actions and decisions. They don’t blame other people for their screw-ups or make excuses when things don’t go their way. They own their mistakes, learn from them, and move on, knowing that taking ownership is the first step towards growth and improvement.

7. They don’t let negativity get to them.

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Life is full of negativity, but confident people don’t let it consume them. They surround themselves with positive people, focus on the good in their lives, and don’t let negative comments or situations dampen their spirits. They understand that their mindset plays a crucial role in their overall well-being and success.

8. They don’t try to be perfect.

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Perfection is an illusion, and confident people know it. They embrace their imperfections and accept that they’re human. They don’t strive for unattainable standards or beat themselves up when they make mistakes. Instead, they focus on progress, not perfection, and celebrate their achievements, big and small.

9. They don’t gossip or engage in negative talk.

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Confident people focus on building others up, not tearing them down. They avoid gossip and negative conversations that breed negativity and spread rumours. Instead, they engage in meaningful conversations that inspire, uplift, and promote positivity.

10. They don’t try to please everyone.

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They understand that it’s impossible to please everyone, and they don’t waste their energy trying. They stay true to themselves and their values, even if it means disappointing some people. That’s because they know that their own happiness and well-being are just as important as anyone else’s.

11. They don’t draw attention to themselves all the time.

Valerii Honcharuk

Confident people don’t need to be the centre of attention to feel good about themselves. They’re comfortable being in the background and letting other people shine. After all, they’re comfortable enough with what they bring to the table that they don’t need to go overboard trying to steal the spotlight.

12. They don’t play the victim.

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Confident people take ownership of their lives and don’t blame external circumstances or other people for their problems. When tough times happen, they try to see the opportunities for growth rather than wallow in self-pity. They focus on finding solutions and moving forward, rather than dwelling on what they can’t control.

13. They don’t hold grudges.

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Confident people understand that holding onto anger and resentment only hurts themselves. They forgive people, not because they’re weak, but because they’re strong enough to let go of negativity and move on. They focus on the present and future, not on past hurts or disappointments.

14. They don’t live in fear.

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People with true confidence don’t let fear dictate their lives. They embrace uncertainty, take calculated risks, and step outside their comfort zone because they know that fear is often an illusion that holds them back from reaching their full potential. They choose courage over comfort and live life on their own terms.