People who lack respect for everyone around them don’t often think before they speak.
Because they don’t care how they come off to anyone, they spout off without any filter, figuring that if they offend anyone, oh well — they’ll get over it. Because of that, you’ll often hear these things come out of their mouths unapologetically. If any of these seem a bit too familiar to you, it may be time for you to reassess your own behaviour!
1. “I don’t mean to interrupt, but…”
If you’re interrupting, you clearly do mean to. Starting a sentence this way shows you’re more focused on getting your own point across than respecting the person talking. Instead of cutting someone off, try waiting for a pause or asking if you can jump in when they’re done. It’s about letting other people finish their thoughts before you dive in with yours.
2. “With all due respect…”
This one usually signals that something disrespectful is about to follow. It’s a weak attempt to soften the blow before you drop an opinion that could offend. If you catch yourself about to say this, ask if what you’re about to say could be phrased more thoughtfully—without the pre-emptive excuse. Respect doesn’t need a disclaimer.
3. “You’ll understand when you’re older/more experienced.”
Dismissing someone’s view because of their age or experience is a quick way to shut down a conversation. It’s condescending and implies that their perspective doesn’t matter until they’re older. A better approach? Acknowledge their viewpoint and share your experiences without belittling theirs—age isn’t always the key to understanding.
4. “It’s not rocket science.”
This overused phrase can make someone feel stupid for struggling with something you find easy. Just because something is simple for you doesn’t mean it’s the same for everyone. A bit of patience goes a long way—offering help or explaining things with empathy can make all the difference without making the other person feel small.
5. “You should just…”
Giving advice without fully understanding someone’s situation can come across as dismissive. Saying “you should just” oversimplifies complex situations and brushes aside their unique challenges. Instead, ask more questions and offer suggestions in a way that feels collaborative, not bossy.
6. “That’s not how we do things here.”
Shutting down ideas with this line kills creativity and growth. Just because something has always been done a certain way doesn’t mean there’s no room for improvement. Instead of dismissing new ideas, try explaining why the current method works while remaining open to discussion and innovation.
7. “I told you so.”
Sure, it’s tempting to say this when you’re right, but it doesn’t help the situation and only rubs salt in the wound. No one appreciates being reminded of their mistakes. If you’ve been proven right, skip the gloating and focus on being supportive. Help them figure out what went wrong and how to move forward.
8. “You’re overthinking it.”
Saying this invalidates the other person’s thought process. Maybe they are considering things from every angle, but that doesn’t mean they’re wrong to do so. Instead of dismissing their concerns, try understanding their thought process and helping them find clarity without making them feel like they’re being silly.
9. “It is what it is.”
This phrase can come off as dismissive, especially when someone’s venting or dealing with a problem. It shuts down further conversation and signals that you’re not interested in helping. A better response might be to acknowledge their feelings and offer support or brainstorm potential solutions together.
10. “You look tired.”
Even if said with concern, this comment often feels like a criticism of someone’s appearance. Instead of commenting on how someone looks, ask how they’re feeling. If they want to share, they will—and you won’t risk making them feel self-conscious in the process.
11. “No offence, but…”
Nothing good ever follows “no offence.” It’s a lazy way of trying to say something rude without owning the consequences. If you need to preface a statement with this, you might want to rethink what you’re about to say. Be direct and respectful instead.
12. “You’re lucky that…”
This phrase undermines people’s hard work and suggests that their success is purely due to chance. It minimises their efforts and struggles, which can be really hurtful. Rather than attributing their accomplishments to luck, acknowledge the work they put in or ask about the journey that got them there.
13. “Why can’t you be more like…”
Comparing someone to anyone else is a quick way to make them feel inadequate. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, and suggesting they should be more like someone else is disrespectful and damaging. Focus on what makes them unique and how they can improve without making unfair comparisons.
14. “I’m not racist/sexist/etc., but…”
Starting a sentence like this is a huge red flag. It often means the next thing out of your mouth is going to be exactly what you claim not to be. If you find yourself about to use this phrase, stop and reflect. It’s likely a sign that you need to rethink your words—or your beliefs entirely.
