Most of us prefer depth in our relationships and in life as a whole, but some people never bother to look below the surface.
Whether it’s the way someone looks, how much money they make, or what their social status is, shallow people only care about what’s visible on the outside — all the stuff that truly matters, what’s inside, is left by the wayside. Generally speaking, you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to realise you’re dealing with someone like this. In fact, they tend to give themselves away pretty quickly by doing these things.
1. They talk about appearance constantly.
If someone’s constantly chatting about looks, whether it’s their own or someone else’s, that’s a big sign they’re focused on the surface. Shallow people love to judge based on physical appearance, and they seem to place more value on that than anything else. If they’re spending more time talking about what people look like than having real conversations, it’s time to notice.
2. They always try to one-up everyone.
A conversation with someone like this feels like a constant competition. You share something you’re proud of, and suddenly, they’ve got a story that makes theirs sound bigger or better. It’s never about celebrating what you’ve done, it’s all about making themselves look better than everyone else.
3. They judge people based on material things.
If someone’s always going on about the car you drive, your clothes, or the brand of your phone, they’re definitely not looking at what really matters. For them, it’s all about the material things, how successful you appear on the outside. They’ll decide your worth based on that stuff, not on who you are inside.
4. Deep conversations just aren’t for them.
Ever try to dive into a meaningful chat, only for the conversation to get awkward or immediately get redirected to something lighter? Shallow people are really uncomfortable when things get too deep. Their zone is light banter or small talk, and they’ll avoid anything that requires them to open up or get vulnerable.
5. They only value people who can do something for them.
These are the kinds of people who want to make sure that everyone around them is somehow benefiting them. Whether it’s for their career, status, or getting ahead in some way, they’re only interested in relationships that serve a purpose. They’re not about forming genuine connections; it’s all about what’s in it for them.
6. They lack empathy and can’t see beyond themselves (or outright refuse to).
A lack of empathy is a big red flag. If someone can’t put themselves in someone else’s shoes or doesn’t care about how someone else feels, it shows they’re incapable of connecting on a deeper level. It’s like they just can’t see beyond themselves or their own little bubble. If it doesn’t directly affect them, it doesn’t matter.
7. They want people to validate them non-stop.
These people need to hear that they’re great, usually from anyone who’s around. They live for compliments and praise. If they don’t get enough attention or recognition, they can start feeling really low. Their sense of worth is entirely wrapped up in how other people see them.
8. They name-drop to seem more important.
You know the type — always casually mentioning the famous people they’ve met or the big shots they hang out with. They’re trying to boost their own image by association. It’s as if they think dropping a celebrity’s name will make them seem more important, even if that’s far from the truth.
9. They’re always on their phone.
Source: Unsplash If someone’s constantly checking their phone, not just to catch up with friends but to monitor their social media or keep up with the latest trends, you’re dealing with someone who’s obsessed with how they’re seen by the world around them. It’s all about the online image rather than the world around them. They’re more interested in getting likes or keeping up with the gossip than having a proper conversation with the people in front of them.
10. They often brush off or ignore people they see as “beneath them.”
This one’s easy to spot. Shallow people have a habit of brushing off or ignoring anyone they perceive as less successful or less attractive. They might be dismissive of people they think are “below” them, acting as though they’re not worthy of their time or respect. It doesn’t matter who you are; if they think you don’t bring something valuable to the table, they’re not bothered.
11. They focus on short-term pleasure over long-term growth.
If you’re with someone who constantly goes for instant gratification, whether it’s splurging on a night out or avoiding anything that makes them uncomfortable, they’re probably not looking for real growth. They’re stuck in the “quick fix” mindset, constantly pursuing enjoyment in the moment instead of putting in the work for something deeper, more meaningful, or long-term.
12. It’s always all about them (even when it’s really not).
If you’ve ever been stuck in a conversation where the other person just keeps bringing it back to themselves, no matter what you say, you’re dealing with someone who’s a bit self-absorbed. They talk about their achievements, their stuff, their opinions, and rarely ask about anyone else. They’re not that interested in anyone’s world except their own.
13. They struggle with commitment.
Whether it’s in relationships, work, or personal growth, shallow people are hesitant to commit. They’re afraid of getting too deep into anything that requires emotional investment or effort. They tend to jump from one thing to the next without sticking around long enough to build something lasting, be it a friendship, a project, or a relationship.
14. They’re all about novelty, not depth.
For shallow people, the thrill is in the new and exciting, not in sticking with something long-term. They get bored quickly, whether it’s with hobbies, relationships, or goals. Once the initial buzz wears off, they’ll abandon it for something else that seems more exciting, without really delving deep into anything.
