You know, we all have those people in our lives who leave us feeling drained, confused, or even a little worse about ourselves after spending time with them. Sometimes it’s hard to put your finger on it, but there are certain behaviours that can indicate a person might be a bit toxic. Here are some of those red flags so you can identify them and protect yourself.
1. They manipulate and control people.
Toxic people often try to control situations and people to serve their own needs. Maybe they use guilt trips, emotional blackmail, or passive-aggressive tactics to get their way. They might also try to isolate you from your friends and family, or make you feel like you’re the only one who understands them. This kind of behaviour can be emotionally draining and damaging to your self-esteem.
2. They lack empathy and compassion.
It’s like they’re unable to put themselves in your shoes or understand how their actions affect you. They dismiss your feelings, minimise your problems, or even seem to enjoy your pain. This lack of empathy can make you feel alone, misunderstood, and unsupported. It can also make it difficult to have healthy, fulfilling relationships with them.
3. They constantly criticise and judge everyone.
They’re always quick to point out flaws and shortcomings, both in themselves and in everyone around them. They make snide comments, offer unsolicited advice, or gossip behind people’s backs. This negativity can create a toxic environment and make it difficult to feel good about yourself around them.
4. They’re never wrong and always point the finger at other people.
Everything is always someone else’s fault. They refuse to take responsibility for their own actions or mistakes, and they’ll often shift the blame onto you or someone else. This lack of accountability can be incredibly frustrating and can make it difficult to resolve conflicts or have productive conversations.
5. They’re excessively jealous and possessive.
They often get jealous of your friends, your hobbies, or even your success. As a result, they often try to control who you spend time with, what you do, or even how you dress. This possessiveness stems from insecurity and a fear of abandonment. It can be suffocating and make you feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells.
6. They have a short temper and are prone to outbursts.
Their anger could be triggered by seemingly minor things, and it can escalate quickly. They may yell, scream, throw things, or even resort to physical violence. This kind of unpredictable behaviour can be terrifying and emotionally draining. It can also make you feel unsafe and insecure in the relationship.
7. They create drama and chaos.
Drama seems to follow them wherever they go. They may start rumours, spread gossip, or create conflict just for the sake of attention. They thrive on chaos and emotional turmoil, and they’ll often manipulate situations to create drama. This can be exhausting for those around them and can make it difficult to maintain a stable and peaceful relationship.
8. They’re passive-aggressive.
They may not come right out and say what they’re thinking, but they’ll drop hints, make snide comments, or give you the silent treatment. This kind of passive-aggressive behaviour can be confusing and frustrating. It can also make it difficult to address problems or resolve conflicts, as they’re not being direct about their feelings or concerns.
9. They have a superiority complex.
These people act like they’re better than everyone else, often due to their intelligence, wealth, or social status. They talk down to people, dismiss their opinions, or act entitled to special treatment. This superiority complex can be a major turn-off, as it reveals a lack of humility and respect for other people. Nobody likes to feel like they’re being looked down upon, and this behaviour can quickly alienate those around them.
10. They’re insensitive and lack tact.
They say hurtful things without realising it, make inappropriate jokes, or simply lack the social awareness to navigate sensitive situations. This insensitivity can be hurtful and can make people feel uncomfortable or disrespected. It’s important to be mindful of your words and actions, and to consider how they affect anyone else. A bit of tact can go a long way in building strong relationships.
11. They’re extreme attention seekers.
They crave validation and constantly seek to be the centre of attention. They interrupt conversations, dominate social gatherings, or go to great lengths to make themselves the main attraction. While it’s natural to want attention sometimes, excessive attention-seeking can be exhausting and annoying for the people around them. It can also signal a lack of self-esteem and a need for external validation.
12. They’re jealous of people a lot.
They rubbish people’s achievements, belittle their happiness, or try to sabotage their efforts. This envy can stem from a sense of insecurity and a belief that they’re not good enough. It can also lead to toxic behaviours like gossip, manipulation, and even sabotage. A healthy amount of competition can be motivating, but excessive envy can be destructive to both themselves and their relationships.
13. They’re emotionally draining.
Spending time with them can leave you feeling exhausted, depleted, and emotionally drained. They complain constantly, demand your attention, and create drama. They might also be emotionally manipulative, leaving you feeling confused and unsure of yourself. It’s important to protect your energy and limit your exposure to people who consistently leave you feeling drained.
14. They lack boundaries and respect for people.
They overshare personal details, invade your privacy, or make unreasonable demands on your time and energy. Not only that, but they also disregard your feelings, opinions, or boundaries. This lack of respect can be hurtful and can make it difficult to maintain a healthy relationship with them. It’s important to establish clear boundaries and communicate your needs assertively to protect yourself from their toxic behaviour.