A good friendship involves both people putting in equal amounts of effort to keep the relationship strong and healthy.
While you won’t be able to maintain a perfect balance all the time because, you know, life happens, if you relate to any of these experiences with your “friend,” this is clearly a one-sided situation.
1. You’re always the one making contact.
Source: Unsplash If you’re constantly the one reaching out to make plans or just to chat, it might be a sign of an imbalanced friendship. In a healthy relationship, both parties should show interest in maintaining contact. If you stopped initiating, would you ever hear from them?
2. Your friend only calls when they need something.
Source: Unsplash It’s normal for friends to ask each other for favours, but if your mate only seems to pop up when they need help moving house, a lift to the airport, or a shoulder to cry on, it’s a red flag. A true friend should be present in both good times and bad, not just when it’s convenient for them.
3. They rarely ask about your life or show interest in your problems.
Friendship is a two-way street. If you find yourself always listening to their issues, but they never seem to enquire about your life or offer support when you’re struggling, it’s a clear sign of imbalance. A good friend should show genuine interest in your wellbeing and be there for you when you need them.
4. You’re often left feeling drained after spending time together.
While it’s normal to have the occasional emotionally taxing interaction, if you consistently feel exhausted or depleted after hanging out with your friend, something’s off. Friendships should generally leave you feeling uplifted and energised, not like you’ve run an emotional marathon.
5. They’re quick to cancel plans but expect you to be available at a moment’s notice.
If your friend regularly bails on plans you’ve made but expects you to drop everything when they want to hang out, it’s a sign they don’t value your time. A balanced friendship involves mutual respect for each other’s schedules and commitments.
6. You find yourself making excuses for their behaviour to other people.
When you catch yourself constantly explaining away your friend’s actions to other people, it’s worth examining why. If you’re always defending them, saying things like “They’re just busy” or “That’s just how they are”, you might be in denial about the one-sided nature of your friendship.
7. They rarely express gratitude for your efforts.
In a healthy friendship, both parties acknowledge and appreciate each other’s efforts. If you’re constantly going out of your way for your friend but rarely receive a simple “thank you” in return, it’s a sign that they might be taking you for granted.
8. Your achievements are often downplayed or ignored.
A true friend celebrates your successes with you. If your mate tends to brush off your achievements or, worse, seems annoyed by them, it’s a clear sign of an unhealthy dynamic. Friends should lift each other up, not compete or belittle each other’s accomplishments.
9. They often make you feel guilty for having other friends or commitments.
Source: Unsplash If your friend gets upset or passive-aggressive when you spend time with other people or can’t drop everything for them, it’s a red flag. Healthy friendships allow for independence and understand that people have multiple relationships and responsibilities in their lives.
10. You find yourself censoring your opinions to avoid conflict.
Source: Unsplash In a balanced friendship, you should feel comfortable expressing your thoughts and feelings, even when they differ from your friend’s. If you’re constantly walking on eggshells or holding back to keep the peace, it’s a sign that the friendship lacks the mutual respect and understanding it should have.
11. They rarely follow through on their promises.
Source: Unsplash Actions speak louder than words, and if your friend consistently fails to keep their promises or follow through on commitments, it shows a lack of respect for you and the friendship. Reliability is a key part of any healthy relationship.
12. You’re always the one compromising.
Source: Unsplash Compromise is normal in any relationship, but it should go both ways. If you find yourself always adjusting your schedule, preferences, or needs to accommodate your friend while they rarely do the same for you, it’s a sign of an imbalanced friendship.
13. They’re quick to criticise but can’t handle feedback themselves.
Source: Unsplash A friend who dishes out criticism but gets defensive or angry when you offer constructive feedback isn’t creating a healthy, reciprocal relationship. True friends should be able to have honest conversations and grow together.
14. You often feel like you’re walking on eggshells around them.
If you’re constantly worrying about how your friend will react to things you say or do, it’s a sign that the friendship lacks the trust and comfort it should have. You shouldn’t have to tiptoe around a true friend or feel anxious about their reactions to normal interactions.
