If your natural inclination is to put other people first, you’re obviously extremely selfless.
That’s a good thing in many ways — it proves you have a good heart. However, it can also work against you in some pretty big ways, so beware.
1. You neglect your own needs and desires.
Because you’re so focused on taking care of everyone else, you often forget to look after yourself. You skip meals, go without sleep, and generally overextend yourself to make sure everyone else is good. But what about you?
2. Your generosity gets exploited.
Unfortunately, not everyone has good intentions. Some people might see selflessness as an opportunity to take advantage of you. They’ll ask for loads of favours, borrow money, or even just expect you to be at their beck and call, but they’ll never offer the same in return.
3. You can never say ‘no’, even when you’re overwhelmed.
Saying yes to everything inevitably leads to burnout and resentment, but you just can’t help yourself. You don’t want to upset or disappoint anyone, so you keep pushing yourself well past your limits, which is bound to come back to bite you.
4. You end up feeling resentful and unappreciated when people don’t give back as much as they get from you.
You never give you receive, but constantly doing everything for everyone and getting the bare minimum in return is disheartening and frankly, kind of infuriating. You end up resenting the fact that you’re so generous because it never does you any favours.
5. You prioritise everyone else’s happiness over your own.
All the time you spend trying to make everyone else happy (which isn’t your responsibility, by the way) is time you’re neglecting your own mental, emotional, and physical health. As a result, you’re the one who ends up miserable.
6. You attract people who take advantage of you or become overly dependent on you.
Selflessness can act like a magnet for people who need constant support or validation. It’s fulfilling to help people, but you also need to realise when people are taking the mickey and expecting too much for you. Otherwise, they’ll drain you dry (and you’ll be letting them).
7. You find it really hard to ask for help.
If you’re used to being the one who always gives, you might find it tough to ask for help when you’re struggling. Remember, it’s okay to be vulnerable and reach out to people for support when you need it. You don’t have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders alone.
8. Your personal dreams and goals get put on hold.
It’s really sweet of you to encourage and support the dreams of the people you love, but you shouldn’t be neglecting your own dreams in the process. The things you want in this life matter just as much as everyone else, so make yourself a priority.
9. You feel guilty for setting boundaries or saying no.
Even when you know it’s necessary for your own sanity/health, you feel guilty when you do have to put your foot down and say no. You worry that it makes you look like a bad person or that you’re hurting other people, despite the fact that you’ve already given far too much.
10. You struggle to walk away from toxic relationships.
Kind-hearted people often see the good in everyone, even those who might not deserve their kindness. This means it’s probably hard for you to talk away from toxic relationships that aren’t serving you, even when it’s clear as day. Don’t waste your time!
11. You’re at risk of emotional manipulation.
Being naturally kind and empathetic makes you more vulnerable to emotional manipulation. You’re not gullible by any means, but you are easily swayed by guilt trips, dramatics, or someone playing the victim. You just can’t help it!
12. You often suffer with compassion fatigue.
Constantly taking care of everyone else and dealing with their problems takes its emotional toll on you. Compassion fatigue is a real thing, and it makes you exhausted, a bit numb, and kind of detached. When you start feeling this way, you know it’s important to start practising a bit of boundary setting.
13. You have to balance your needs with other people’s, which is hard.
Finding the right balance between giving to other people and taking care of yourself can be tricky, but it’s also really important. If you don’t put yourself first, who else will?
14. Your kindness and generosity are often taken for granted.
Kindness should be appreciated, but unfortunately, it’s not always recognised or valued. You probably feel like the things you do go unnoticed much of the time, and that really sucks. It’s time to pull back a bit and start making yourself happy rather than everyone else.
