It’s nice to be acknowledged by other people, but you shouldn’t need that to feel good about yourself.
The problem is that some people rely so heavily on external validation that without it, their self-worth is basically in the gutter. In order to feel that rush, they’ll go out of their way to draw attention to themselves in the hopes that people will compliment them or lavish them with praise. Here are some things they do to fill the void where their own self-esteem should be.
1. They go on and on about their achievements.
Some people just can’t help but mention every success, big or small. From work wins to personal milestones, they’re always finding ways to bring up what they’ve done, hoping other people will notice and give them the praise they’re after. It’s their way of saying, “Look at me, I’m doing great!” But this need for recognition rarely brings the lasting reassurance they’re truly looking for.
2. They chase approval on social media.
For some, social media likes and comments are more than just fun interactions; they’re a lifeline for self-worth. These people post non-stop and obsess over the reactions, hoping each like will build them up a little more. But the validation is fleeting, leaving them craving more and constantly checking their feeds for reassurance.
3. They go out of their way to please everyone.
Some people can’t say no, bending over backward to make everyone happy even when it’s exhausting. They constantly put other people’s needs first, hoping for a pat on the back or a simple “thank you” to make them feel valued. But when personal boundaries get trampled, the satisfaction from pleasing everyone else often fades fast.
4. They try to fit in at all costs.
Whether it’s changing their style, adopting new interests, or mirroring the group’s opinions, some people go to great lengths to blend in. They set their true selves aside, thinking acceptance will make them feel whole. But fitting in so completely often just leads to feeling more lost and disconnected.
5. They fish for compliments.
These people often downplay their appearance or skills, hoping someone will jump in with reassurance. You’ll hear them saying things like, “I look terrible today” or “I’m not good at this,” waiting for other people to disagree. But while compliments might give a brief boost, it never really addresses what’s going on underneath.
6. They overshare personal struggles to get sympathy.
We all need support sometimes, but some people rely on sharing every struggle to feel seen and valued. They might frequently dive into their problems, hoping for words of encouragement and a sense of closeness. However, without that internal validation, these comfort-seeking conversations only temporarily fill the void.
7. They compete for attention in conversations.
In group settings, they’ll often find a way to bring the focus back to their own stories or experiences. It’s not always intentional, but their constant need to feel seen and heard can dominate conversations. Yet, instead of feeling more connected, they may end up feeling even more isolated as other people start to pull away.
8. They jump from one relationship to the next.
For some, being in a relationship becomes a way to feel complete or valuable. They may find themselves moving quickly from one romance to another, relying on a partner’s affection to fill an inner void. But when a relationship is used to boost self-worth, it often leads to disappointment and unmet expectations.
9. They use possessions to impress people.
Source: Unsplash Flashy cars, designer clothes, or the latest gadgets become symbols of worth for some people. They might show off these possessions as a way to gain admiration and feel validated. But while material things may get a bit of attention, they rarely offer the real, lasting confidence that comes from within.
10. They exaggerate or “enhance” stories to sound impressive.
Some people love to tell stories with a little extra flair, adding dramatic twists or embellishments to make themselves seem more interesting. They crave the “wow” reactions, but underneath it all, they often feel like they need to enhance who they are to get the validation they want.
11. They overwork themselves to earn praise.
Source: Unsplash Putting in long hours, taking on extra projects, and chasing promotions is their way of feeling valued. But working non-stop to gain recognition can lead to burnout, and the praise they’re after often falls short. Without a sense of self-worth, the cycle of seeking validation through work leaves them exhausted and unfulfilled.
12. They get defensive over criticism.
When validation is the goal, any hint of criticism can feel like a personal attack. Some people become defensive quickly, trying to protect their self-image because criticism challenges their need to feel ‘good enough.’ But this defensiveness can block real growth and keep them stuck in a cycle of fragile self-esteem.
13. They constantly compare themselves to other people.
For some people, self-worth is measured by how they stack up against those around them. Whether it’s looks, success, or lifestyle, they’re always keeping score. This endless comparison game rarely ends well, often making them feel more insecure and less confident over time.
14. They highlight “special” connections to seem important.
Name-dropping or talking about connections with influential people is another way some seek validation. They hope that by associating with the right crowd, they’ll be seen as more valuable or interesting. But this kind of validation is shallow and rarely gives them the lasting confidence they’re after.
