Everyone assumes that all cheaters are unfaithful for the same reasons, but that’s not true.
Whether to justify their own behaviour, comfort someone who’s been cheated on, or simply try to explain the unexplainable, there are certain assumptions about why people step out on their partners that persist — despite being utterly ridiculous. Here are some of the more nonsensical “reasons” for cheating that should make anyone roll their eyes.
1. They’re just not getting enough attention at home.
The idea that people cheat because they feel neglected is often used as an excuse, but it’s far from universal. There are plenty of people in relationships where they feel undervalued who remain faithful, just as there are those with attentive partners who still cheat. If someone feels ignored, the better choice is to address it directly with their partner rather than looking for validation elsewhere.
2. Only unhappy people cheat.
The assumption that all cheaters are unhappy oversimplifies the issue. Some people cheat despite being in relationships that seem healthy and fulfilling. Infidelity can be driven by factors like a lack of boundaries, a craving for excitement, or personal insecurities. Being content in a relationship doesn’t guarantee that someone won’t make a bad decision.
3. It’s always about physical intimacy.
While sexual attraction may play a role in some cases, it’s not the sole reason for infidelity. Many emotional affairs happen without any physical element at all. People may cheat for reasons like looking for emotional connection, validation, or an escape from daily pressures. Reducing infidelity to just sex overlooks the complexity of human behaviour.
4. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Although it’s a popular saying, it’s not universally true. Some people reflect on their actions, learn from their mistakes, and change their behaviour. Others may repeat the same patterns, but it’s unfair to assume that everyone who has cheated will always do so. People can grow and make better choices in the future.
5. They must have found someone better.
Affairs aren’t always about upgrading to a more attractive or successful partner. Often, they’re about something different rather than better. The person someone cheats with isn’t necessarily more appealing — they might simply be available or provide a distraction. Affairs are rarely about comparisons; they’re often more about temporary circumstances.
6. Only certain types of people cheat.
Cheating isn’t confined to any particular group. It happens across all demographics, regardless of social status, education, or personality type. Infidelity doesn’t discriminate, and assuming it’s limited to a specific kind of person only creates false stereotypes.
7. They’re just bored in their relationship.
Boredom is a weak excuse for crossing boundaries. Plenty of people experience monotony in relationships and find ways to address it constructively. Cheating doesn’t solve boredom; it often creates more complications. Communicating with a partner or trying something new together is a far more effective solution.
8. Technology makes people cheat.
While technology might make it easier to connect with people, it doesn’t cause someone to cheat. The decision to be unfaithful is always a personal choice. Cheating has existed long before smartphones and social media. Tools like messaging apps may change how infidelity happens, but they don’t create the desire to cheat.
9. They’re just not in love anymore.
Love and loyalty don’t always go hand in hand. It’s possible for someone to love their partner and still make poor choices. Infidelity is often more about the person cheating than about the state of the relationship. Decisions like these aren’t always logical or tied to how someone feels.
10. It’s their partner’s fault.
Blaming a partner for infidelity shifts responsibility away from the person who chose to cheat. While relationship issues may exist, cheating is a personal decision. Problems in a relationship should be addressed through open communication, not through actions that cause further harm.
11. They were drunk or stressed.
Alcohol or stress might lower inhibitions, but they don’t create intentions that weren’t already there. Many people manage their stress or navigate situations involving alcohol without being unfaithful. These things might explain a lapse in judgement, but they don’t remove personal accountability.
12. It’s just a midlife crisis thing.
Midlife crises are sometimes used as an explanation for cheating, but not everyone experiencing one turns to infidelity. People going through significant life changes have other ways to cope, from taking up new hobbies to rethinking their goals. Life transitions might influence behaviour, but they’re not an excuse for betrayal.
13. They’re just naturally flirty.
Being flirtatious doesn’t mean someone has no control over their actions. A playful personality doesn’t have to cross the boundaries of what’s acceptable in a relationship. People are capable of respecting their commitments while still being friendly or outgoing.
14. They’re going through something.
Everyone’s going through something — it’s called life. Using personal struggles to explain cheating is like using rain to explain why you stole an umbrella. Hard times might explain poor judgement, but they don’t justify it. There are usually better ways to handle life’s challenges than creating more drama.
15. They couldn’t help themselves.
Cheating is never an uncontrollable impulse. It involves a series of conscious choices at every step. People always have opportunities to reconsider their actions and make a different decision. Claiming it’s beyond someone’s control removes accountability for the harm they cause.
