Friendships are some of the most rewarding relationships we’ll ever have in our lives.
However, not every one is worth hanging on to. Whether you’ve naturally started drifting apart or they’re behaving in ways that make you realise you don’t actually want them in your life anymore, here are some signs it’s time to say goodbye to a friend.
1. You dread seeing their name pop up on your phone.
Source: Unsplash If your heart sinks every time you get a message or call from them, it’s a sign something’s not right. Friendships should make you happy, not conjure up feelings of obligation or dread. If you’re constantly making excuses not to talk to them, it might be time to consider why.
2. They only reach out when they need something.
True friends are there for the good times and the bad, not just when they need a favour. If you’ve noticed that they only contact you when they want something, it’s a sign of an imbalanced friendship. Relationships should be give and take, not just take.
3. You can’t trust them with your secrets.
Trust is vital in any relationship, so if you’re hesitant to share personal information because you’re worried they’ll spread it around, that’s a major red flag. A good friend should be a safe space for your thoughts and feelings, not a source of stress.
4. They’re constantly negative and bring you down.
While it’s normal for friends to vent sometimes, if every interaction leaves you feeling drained or depressed, it’s not healthy. A friend who’s always complaining, criticising, or focusing on the negative can really impact your own mental wellbeing.
5. They’re competitive in a way that makes you uncomfortable.
Friendly competition can be fun, but if your friend seems to view your successes as their failures, or vice versa, it’s not a good sign. A true friend celebrates your achievements and supports your growth, not tries to one-up you at every turn.
6. You’ve grown apart and no longer share common interests or values.
People change over time, and that’s okay. If you find that you no longer enjoy the same things or share the same core values, it might be a natural time for the friendship to end. Forcing a connection that’s no longer there can be exhausting for both parties.
7. They’re unreliable and consistently let you down.
If you can’t count on them to show up when they say they will, or to follow through on promises, it’s a sign they don’t value your time or the friendship. Occasional slip-ups are normal, but a pattern of unreliability is disrespectful and hurtful.
8. You feel like you’re walking on eggshells around them.
If you’re constantly worried about saying the wrong thing or setting them off, it’s not a healthy dynamic. Friendships should feel comfortable and safe, not like navigating a minefield. You shouldn’t have to censor yourself around a true friend.
9. They dismiss or belittle your feelings.
A good friend listens and validates your emotions, even if they don’t always agree. If your friend consistently brushes off your feelings or tells you you’re overreacting, it shows a lack of empathy and respect. Your feelings matter and deserve acknowledgement.
10. They gossip about you behind your back.
Finding out that a friend has been spreading rumours or sharing your personal information without your consent is a massive breach of trust. If they’re willing to talk about you behind your back, they’re not a true friend.
11. You always feel drained after spending time with them.
While some people are naturally more energetic or quieter than others, your friends shouldn’t consistently leave you feeling emotionally or mentally exhausted. If you need days to recover after each interaction, it might be a sign the friendship is more draining than fulfilling.
12. They’re not there for you during tough times.
Fair-weather friends who disappear when things get difficult aren’t true friends at all. If they’re nowhere to be found when you’re going through a rough patch, but show up again when things are good, it shows they’re not committed to supporting you through thick and thin.
13. You’ve caught them in repeated lies.
Everyone makes mistakes, but if you’ve noticed a pattern of dishonesty, it’s a serious problem. Lying destroys trust, which is the foundation of any good friendship. If you can’t believe what they say, how can you maintain a meaningful relationship?
14. They pressure you to do things you’re not comfortable with.
A good friend respects your boundaries and values. If they’re constantly pushing you to do things you don’t want to do, whether it’s drinking more than you’re comfortable with or engaging in risky behaviour, they’re not looking out for you.
15. You realise you’re happier and more relaxed when they’re not around.
Sometimes, the clearest sign is simply how you feel. If you notice that you’re more at peace, more yourself, or generally happier when this person isn’t in your life, it might be time to make that separation permanent. Friendships should add to your life, not detract from it.
