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Getty Images/iStockphotoEver feel like someone’s poking at your insecurities or deliberately trying to rile you up?
It can be subtle, almost like a whisper in the back of your mind, but those little digs and sly comments can leave you feeling frustrated and on edge. But how do you know for sure if someone’s intentionally pushing your buttons? Here are some signs that confirm your suspicions.
1. They bring up your past mistakes or insecurities.
We all have things we’re not proud of, but a button pusher will repeatedly bring them up, especially during arguments or when they want to get a reaction. They might disguise it as “concern” or “just trying to help,” but their real goal is to make you feel bad about yourself and question your worth.
2. They make subtle digs or sarcastic remarks.
These comments might seem harmless on the surface, but they often carry a sting. A button pusher might make a backhanded compliment, roll their eyes at your ideas, or make a snarky remark about your appearance. Over time, these little jabs can chip away at your confidence and leave you feeling insecure.
3. They invalidate your feelings or experiences.
When you express your emotions, a button pusher might dismiss them, tell you you’re overreacting, or even make fun of you for feeling the way you do. They might try to convince you that your feelings are invalid or unimportant, which can leave you feeling unheard and misunderstood.
4. They play mind games or try to manipulate you.
A button pusher might use tactics like gaslighting, guilt-tripping, or passive-aggressive behaviour to get their way. They might twist your words, deny their actions, or blame you for their own bad behaviour. This can leave you feeling confused, frustrated, and unsure of what to believe.
5. They push your boundaries and test your limits.
A button pusher might deliberately do things they know will upset or annoy you, just to see how far they can push you. They might make inappropriate jokes, cross personal boundaries, or ignore your requests. This is a way for them to exert control and get a reaction out of you.
6. They use your vulnerabilities against you.
Everyone has weaknesses or insecurities, and a button pusher will try to exploit them. They might bring up past traumas, make comments about your appearance, or target your fears and anxieties. This can be extremely hurtful and damaging to your self-esteem.
7. They make you feel like you’re always wrong.
No matter what you do or say, a button pusher will find a way to make you feel like you’re in the wrong. They might constantly criticise your decisions, question your motives, or make you feel like you can’t do anything right. This can leave you feeling insecure, doubtful, and constantly second-guessing yourself.
8. They create drama and chaos.
A button pusher thrives on drama and chaos. They might stir up conflict, spread rumours, or create problems out of nothing. This is a way for them to maintain control and keep you on edge. They might even enjoy watching you get upset or stressed out.
9. They disregard your boundaries.
Healthy relationships require respect personal boundaries. A button pusher, however, might ignore your limits, whether it’s physical, emotional, or even in terms of time and energy. They might pressure you to do things you’re not comfortable with, share information you’d rather keep private, or constantly demand your attention. This disregard for your boundaries can leave you feeling violated and disrespected.
10. They belittle your achievements.
Instead of celebrating your successes, a button pusher might downplay your achievements or find ways to make them seem insignificant. They might compare you to other people, highlight their own accomplishments, or simply act indifferent to your good news. This can chip away at your self-confidence and make you feel undervalued.
11. They give backhanded compliments.
A backhanded compliment is a seemingly positive statement that contains a hidden insult or criticism. For example, they might say, “You look great for your age,” or “That’s a surprisingly good idea coming from you.” These comments are designed to make you feel good on the surface, but also to subtly undermine your confidence.
12. They engage in passive-aggressive behaviour.
Instead of directly expressing their anger or frustration, a button pusher might resort to passive-aggressive tactics. This could involve giving you the silent treatment, making snide remarks, or deliberately doing things to annoy you. This behaviour can be incredibly frustrating and create a toxic atmosphere.
13. They make you feel like you’re constantly competing with them.
A button pusher might try to make you feel like you’re always in competition with them. They might try to one-up you, brag about their own accomplishments, or belittle your efforts. This can create a sense of rivalry and tension in the relationship.
14. They try to control your emotions.
A button pusher might try to manipulate your emotions by playing on your insecurities, guilt-tripping you, or making you feel responsible for their happiness. They might also try to invalidate your feelings or tell you how you should be feeling. This can leave you feeling emotionally drained and dependent on their approval.
15. They leave you feeling drained and exhausted.
Being around a button pusher can be emotionally and mentally exhausting. Their constant negativity, manipulation, and attempts to control you can take a toll on your well-being. If you find yourself feeling drained, stressed, or unhappy after spending time with someone, it might be a sign that they’re not a positive influence in your life.
