By It’s not easy to admit when you’re having a hard time in life.
For most of us, we’d rather put on a brave face and pretend we’re doing okay, even when we’re really struggling. If you think someone might be faking their “fine,” here are some lies they might tell to cover up how they’re really feeling.
1. “I’m fine, just tired.”
This is perhaps the most common lie people tell when they’re not okay. It’s an easy way to brush off concerns without revealing the depth of what’s really going on. By putting their low mood down to fatigue, they avoid having to explain more complex emotional or mental health issues. It’s a convenient excuse that most people won’t question too deeply.
2. “I’ve been really busy lately.”
Source: Unsplash When someone’s struggling, they might withdraw from social activities or fail to keep up with responsibilities. Rather than admit they’re having a hard time, they might claim to be swamped with work or other obligations. This lie helps explain their absence or lack of engagement without revealing their true struggles. It also plays into the socially acceptable narrative of being productive, even when they might be struggling to function.
3. “I’m just going through a phase.”
Source: Unsplash This lie minimises the seriousness of what they’re experiencing. By framing their struggles as a temporary “phase”, they avoid acknowledging that they might be dealing with a more significant or long-term issue. It’s a way of reassuring themselves and other people that everything will pass on its own, without needing to take action or ask for help.
4. “I’ve got it all under control.”
People often say this when they feel anything but in control. It’s a defensive lie, meant to ward off offers of help or expressions of concern. By insisting they have everything handled, they’re trying to maintain an image of competence and independence, even if they’re secretly overwhelmed and in need of support.
5. “I’m just having an off day.”
This lie is similar to the “just tired” excuse, but it’s used when someone’s negative mood or behaviour is too obvious to ignore. By claiming it’s just an “off day”, they’re suggesting that their struggles are temporary and not worth worrying about. It’s a way of deflecting concern and avoiding deeper conversations about their mental and emotional health.
6. “I don’t need any help, but thanks for offering.”
When people are struggling, they often push away the very support they need. This lie might come from a place of pride, fear of being a burden, or the belief that they should be able to handle everything on their own. By rejecting help, they maintain an illusion of self-sufficiency, even when they’re secretly drowning.
7. “I’m just stressed about work/school.”
While stress about work or studies is common and understandable, people often use this as a catch-all excuse for their struggles. It’s socially acceptable to be stressed about these things, so it’s an easy lie to tell. However, it might be masking deeper issues like anxiety, depression, or personal problems that they’re not ready to discuss.
8. “I’m not avoiding you, I’ve just been really distracted.”
When people are going through a tough time, they often withdraw from social connections. Rather than admit they’re struggling to maintain relationships, they might claim to be distracted. This lie helps them avoid confrontations about their changed behaviour while giving them space to deal with their issues privately.
9. “I’m happier than ever!”
Source: Unsplash Sometimes, people who are struggling go to the opposite extreme, insisting that everything is fantastic. This over-the-top positivity can be a form of overcompensation, an attempt to convince themselves and other people that they’re doing great when they’re actually feeling low. It’s a lie that can be particularly isolating, as it discourages people from offering support.
10. “I’m just not hungry.”
Changes in appetite are common when people are struggling with mental health or stress. Instead of admitting to these issues, someone might lie about not being hungry to explain away their lack of eating. This can be particularly concerning if it’s masking an eating disorder or severe depression.
11. “I’ve got some exciting plans coming up.”
Source: Unsplash When people are feeling hopeless or stuck, they might invent future plans to give the impression that their life is moving forward positively. This lie creates an illusion of progress and excitement, even when they’re feeling stagnant or despondent. It’s a way of deflecting concern by projecting an image of someone who has things to look forward to.
12. “I’m just focusing on myself right now.”
While self-care is important, this can sometimes be a cover for isolating oneself due to depression or anxiety. It sounds positive and self-aware, making it a convenient lie to tell when someone is pulling away from social connections. The reality might be that they’re struggling to engage with people rather than consciously choosing to be alone for personal growth.
13. “I’m not angry, I’m just passionate.”
People who are struggling often experience intense emotions, including anger. Rather than admit to feeling angry or out of control, they might frame their outbursts or irritability as “passion”. This lie allows them to avoid addressing the real source of their emotions and the fact that they might be having trouble managing them.
14. “I’m just waiting for the right time to make a change.”
This lie is often told by people who feel stuck or overwhelmed but aren’t ready to take action. By claiming they’re waiting for the right moment, they create the illusion of having a plan without actually having to do anything. It’s a way of avoiding the reality that they might be too scared or unsure to make necessary changes in their life.
15. “I don’t want to talk about it because it’s not a big deal.”
This final lie is often a last line of defence when someone’s struggling has become noticeable. By insisting that whatever’s bothering them isn’t significant, they’re trying to shut down further questions or offers of help. In reality, the issue is likely a very big deal to them, but they’re not ready or willing to open up about it.
