Narcissists are nightmares, but having a few self-centred traits doesn’t automatically make you one.
You can be a totally kind, considerate, well-adjusted person and still have a few typically narcissistic traits — that’s not particularly weird or concerning; it’s human. If you relate to any of the following, don’t start worrying that you might be a toxic, manipulative, nasty piece of work. If that were true, it’d apply to nearly everyone!
1. You love a bit of praise.
Who doesn’t love a compliment? Whether it’s about your outfit, your cooking, or your work, hearing someone say, “Well done!” feels amazing. Enjoying praise doesn’t make you a narcissist—it makes you human. The key is to avoid needing it to feel good about yourself.
2. You want to be the centre of attention sometimes.
Whether you’re telling a funny story at dinner or showing off your dance moves at a wedding, sometimes you just want everyone’s eyes on you. It’s completely normal to enjoy being the star of the show now and then. As long as you’re not hogging the spotlight 24/7, you’re in the clear.
3. You take selfies.
We’ve all taken that perfectly lit selfie and thought, “Yep, this needs to be shared.” Taking pride in your appearance and sharing it with the world isn’t a crime. The occasional selfie session is a far cry from full-blown narcissism. So go ahead, strike that pose!
4. You hate being wrong.
Admitting you’re wrong isn’t fun for anyone. If you sometimes dig your heels in or get defensive, welcome to the club! The important part is being able to reflect, apologise, and move on. A bruised ego doesn’t mean you’re a narcissist—it just means you’re human.
5. You sometimes fish for compliments.
Ever dropped a subtle, “Ugh, I look terrible today,” hoping someone would disagree? We’ve all been there. Wanting a little reassurance now and then is totally normal. As long as you’re not relying on other people to constantly boost your self-esteem, it’s harmless.
6. You like talking about your achievements.
When you’re proud of something, it’s natural to want to share it. Whether you’ve landed a promotion, finished a marathon, or nailed that homemade sourdough, telling people about it doesn’t make you self-absorbed. Celebrating wins is healthy—and you deserve it!
7. You get annoyed when you’re ignored.
Let’s face it: being ignored feels rubbish. Whether it’s a friend zoning out while you’re talking or someone leaving your message on “read,” it’s normal to feel a bit miffed. As long as you don’t demand constant attention, you’re fine.
8. You like having control over things.
Being in control can feel comforting, whether you’re planning a trip, organising a project, or deciding where to eat. Wanting things done a certain way is normal—just try not to steamroll everyone else in the process. A little flexibility goes a long way.
9. You sometimes think you’re special.
Maybe you believe your taste in music is superior or that your mum’s roast dinner is the best on the planet. Feeling special in certain ways is totally normal. The key is recognising that everyone is special in their own right—and that’s what makes life interesting.
10. You like winning.
Whether it’s a board game, a sports match, or a work challenge, who doesn’t love the thrill of winning? Being competitive is part of human nature. It’s only a problem if you can’t handle losing gracefully. A little healthy competition keeps things fun!
11. You sometimes interrupt people.
Ever got so excited about an idea that you jumped in before someone finished talking? It happens. As long as you’re aware of it and make an effort to listen, it doesn’t make you a narcissist. Excited interruptions are one thing; constant steamrolling is another.
12. You want things to be fair (especially for you).
We all have a fairness radar, and when we feel short-changed, it can sting. Wanting things to be fair for yourself isn’t inherently selfish. It’s only problematic if you expect special treatment or think you’re above the rules.
13. You get frustrated when things don’t go your way.
Plans falling apart or things not working out? Annoying. Feeling frustrated when life doesn’t go according to plan is completely normal. The difference is how you handle it. A little frustration is fine; throwing a tantrum like a toddler, not so much.
14. You like being admired.
Whether it’s for your style, your skills, or your personality, being admired feels good. It’s not narcissistic to enjoy a bit of admiration. The trick is to enjoy it without needing it to validate your worth. Self-confidence is great; needing constant admiration, not so much.
15. You sometimes put your needs first.
Putting yourself first now and then isn’t selfish—it’s self-care. You can’t pour from an empty cup, after all. Taking time for yourself, setting boundaries, or saying no to things that drain you is healthy. It doesn’t make you a narcissist; it makes you someone who knows their worth.
