We’ve all heard the phrase, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
But the reality is, words can hurt, especially when they’re loaded with unintentional prejudice. Ableism, the discrimination or prejudice against people with disabilities, can sneak into our vocabulary without us even realising it. So, let’s shine a light on some common phrases that might be signalling you need to check your privilege.
1. “That’s retarded.”
Source: Unsplash Using “retarded” as an insult is not only outdated but incredibly offensive. It demeans people with intellectual disabilities and perpetuates harmful stereotypes. Instead, try using words like “ridiculous,” “absurd,” or “unbelievable” to express your disbelief or disapproval.
2. “Are you deaf?”
This phrase is often used to express frustration with someone who isn’t listening. However, it trivialises hearing loss and can be hurtful to people who are deaf or hard of hearing. Instead, try saying something like, “Are you not paying attention?” or “Could you please listen to me?”
3. “You’re so OCD about it.”
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a serious mental health condition that can significantly impact a person’s life. Using it casually to describe someone who is meticulous or organised minimises the struggles of those with OCD. Instead, try using words like “precise,” “thorough,” or “detail-oriented.”
4. “Normal people don’t do that.”
Source: Unsplash Using the term “normal” to describe people without disabilities implies that those with disabilities are abnormal or deviant. This kind of language reinforces exclusion and discrimination. Instead, try using more inclusive language, such as “most people” or “many people.”
5. “I’m so blind without my glasses.”
While this phrase might seem harmless, it can be hurtful to people who are actually blind. It trivialises their experiences and suggests that vision impairment is a temporary inconvenience. Instead, try saying something like, “I can’t see anything without my glasses” or “I’m lost without my glasses.”
6. “You’re acting crazy.”
This phrase is often used to describe someone who is acting erratically or unpredictably. However, it can be stigmatising to people with mental health conditions. Instead, try using words like “irrational,” “unreasonable,” or “out of control.”
7. “That’s lame.”
This phrase, often used to describe something that is boring or uncool, can be hurtful to people with physical disabilities. It equates disability with something negative and undesirable. Instead, try using words like “boring,” “uninteresting,” or “unimpressive.”
8. “She’s wheelchair-bound.”
Source: Unsplash Using the term “wheelchair-bound” implies that a person’s wheelchair is a restriction or a burden. In reality, wheelchairs are tools that enable mobility and independence. Instead, try saying “She uses a wheelchair” or “She’s a wheelchair user.”
9. “I’m so dumb.”
While this phrase is often used self-deprecatingly, it can be hurtful to people with intellectual disabilities. It reinforces the idea that intelligence is the sole measure of worth and that those who struggle with learning are somehow lesser. Instead, try saying “I made a mistake” or “I’m not good at this yet.”
10. “What’s wrong with you?”
This question is often asked out of genuine concern, but it can be hurtful to people with disabilities. It implies that there’s something inherently wrong with them because they’re different. Instead, try asking more specific questions like, “Are you okay?” or “Do you need any help?”
11. “You don’t look sick.”
Source: Unsplash Many disabilities are invisible, such as chronic pain or mental health conditions. Telling someone they don’t look sick invalidates their experiences and can make them feel like they have to prove their disability. Instead, trust what they tell you and offer support.
12. “You’re an inspiration.”
Source: Unsplash While meant as a compliment, this phrase can be patronising to people with disabilities. It suggests that their achievements are extraordinary simply because they have a disability, rather than acknowledging their hard work and talent. Instead, focus on their specific accomplishments and offer genuine congratulations.
13. “I’m so ADD today.”
Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) is a neurodevelopmental disorder that can significantly impact a person’s life. Using it casually to describe being forgetful or distracted trivialises the challenges faced by those with ADD. Instead, try using words like “scatterbrained” or “unfocused.”
14. “You’re a special needs child.”
Labelling someone as “special needs” can be dehumanising. It focuses on their differences rather than their individual strengths and abilities. Instead, use person-first language, such as “a child with autism” or “a student with a learning disability.”
15. “You’re so brave.”
While this phrase is often meant to be encouraging, it can be infantilising to people with disabilities. It suggests that they’re doing something extraordinary by simply living their lives. Instead, focus on their resilience and determination without implying that their existence is inherently challenging.
