We’ve all encountered people who seem to move through life oblivious to the emotional havoc they wreak in their wake.
Their lack of emotional intelligence, or EQ, makes them a source of frustration and exasperation for everyone around them. While we might be tempted to simply chalk it up to “personality differences,” the truth is, people who lack it tend to share a common set of traits that make them particularly difficult to deal with. Here’s why they’re so awful.
1. They lack empathy and compassion.
One of the most glaring traits of people lacking emotional intelligence is their inability to put themselves in someone else’s shoes. They simply don’t understand or care about how their words and actions affect others. This makes them insensitive, inconsiderate, and prone to causing emotional distress without even realising it.
2. They struggle to regulate their emotions.
Emotional outbursts are the hallmark of these people. They can go from zero to sixty in seconds, lashing out at others without warning. These tantrums not only create an uncomfortable atmosphere, but also damage relationships and erode trust. It’s like walking on eggshells around them, never knowing what might trigger their next emotional explosion.
3. They lack self-awareness.
People who lack emotional intelligence are often blind to their own shortcomings and emotional triggers. They may blame others for their problems, fail to recognise their own contributions to conflicts, and generally remain oblivious to the negative impact they have on those around them. This lack of self-awareness makes it difficult for them to learn from their mistakes and grow as individuals.
4. They have poor communication skills.
Effective communication is crucial for building and maintaining healthy relationships, but people with low EQ often struggle to express themselves clearly and respectfully. They may be passive-aggressive, resort to personal attacks, or simply shut down when faced with emotional situations. This can lead to misunderstandings, resentment, and an overall toxic communication dynamic.
5. They’re resistant to feedback and criticism.
Even constructive feedback can be met with defensiveness and hostility by people who lack emotional intelligence. They may interpret any critique as a personal attack, deflecting blame and refusing to take responsibility for their actions. This makes it nearly impossible to have a productive conversation about their behaviour or help them develop their emotional intelligence.
6. They lack social awareness.
Social cues can be completely lost on people with low emotional intelligence. They may interrupt conversations, dominate discussions, or make inappropriate jokes without considering the context or the feelings of others. This lack of social awareness can make them seem rude, insensitive, and even offensive to those around them.
7. They’re unable to resolve conflict effectively.
Conflict is an inevitable part of life, but people lacking emotional intelligence are often ill-equipped to handle it constructively. They may resort to blaming, shaming, or simply withdrawing from the situation altogether. This leaves conflicts unresolved and can lead to long-term resentment and damaged relationships.
8. They sabotage relationships.
Source: Unsplash Due to their lack of empathy, poor communication skills, and inability to resolve conflict, people with low EQ often end up sabotaging their relationships. They may push people away with their emotional outbursts, insensitive remarks, or simply by failing to meet the emotional needs of their loved ones. This can leave them feeling isolated and alone, further perpetuating their negative cycle of behaviour.
9. They’re manipulative and exploitative.
Source: Unsplash They may resort to manipulation and exploitation to get what they want. Their lack of empathy allows them to disregard the feelings and well-being of others in pursuit of their own goals. They may use guilt trips, emotional blackmail, or even outright deception to bend people to their will, leaving a trail of emotional wreckage in their wake.
10. They create toxic work environments.
Source: Unsplash People with low emotional intelligence can be a nightmare to work with. Their emotional outbursts, lack of empathy, and poor communication skills create a toxic atmosphere that can demoralise entire teams. They may undermine colleagues, create unnecessary conflict, and generally make it difficult for anyone to thrive in the workplace.
11. They struggle to maintain long-term friendships.
While people with low EQ may have acquaintances, forming deep, lasting friendships can be a challenge for them. Their lack of emotional support, tendency to create drama, and inability to truly connect on a deeper level often leads to superficial relationships that ultimately fade out.
12. They lack resilience and adaptability.
Life is full of ups and downs, but people with low EQ often struggle to cope with adversity. They may become overwhelmed by setbacks, wallow in self-pity, or simply give up when faced with challenges. This lack of resilience and adaptability makes it difficult for them to learn from their experiences and grow as individuals.
13. They are prone to self-destructive behaviours.
People with low EQ may turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with their emotional upheaval. This can include substance abuse, self-harm, or engaging in risky behaviours. These self-destructive tendencies not only harm themselves but can also have a devastating impact on their loved ones.
14. They lack leadership potential.
Emotional intelligence is a crucial component of effective leadership. Leaders need to be able to inspire, motivate, and connect with their teams on an emotional level. People who lack EQ simply don’t have these skills, making them poor candidates for leadership positions and often leading to dysfunctional and unproductive teams.
15. They’re difficult to be around.
Ultimately, people who lack emotional intelligence are simply difficult to be around. Their lack of empathy, volatile emotions, and poor communication skills make them draining and exhausting to interact with. Spending time with them can leave you feeling emotionally depleted, frustrated, and even resentful. It’s no wonder they tend to have a revolving door of relationships and a reputation for being the worst.
