Narcissists can be super charming at first, but there are some warning signs you might miss until you’re already in deep. Here are some of the red flags that people often notice too late when dealing with a narcissist.
1. Their charm seems fake.
At first, they shower you with compliments and attention, but it’s not long before their flattery starts to feel more than a little insincere. It’s like they’re following a script, not that they genuinely care. They might even use their charm to manipulate you, making you question your own feelings and perceptions of situations — and them!
2. They think they’re better than everyone.
They act like they’re superior to everyone else and deserve special treatment, and they constantly brag about their achievements — but rarely acknowledge their own flaws. Their inflated ego can be a turn-off and make you feel like you’re never good enough.
3. They don’t get your feelings.
Narcissists often struggle to understand how you feel. They might seem cold or indifferent to your emotions, even dismissing your concerns or making you feel like you’re overreacting. This lack of empathy makes it hard to connect with them on a deeper level and leaves you feeling unheard.
4. They’re attention hogs.
Narcissists crave attention and validation like crazy. They need to be the centre of attention and will do whatever it takes to get it, even if it means stealing the spotlight from everyone else. This constant need for the spotlight can leave you feeling ignored and unimportant in their eyes. That’s likely because you are.
5. They feel entitled.
They believe they deserve the best of everything and expect special treatment, like the world revolves around them. They might demand privileges, get angry when they don’t get their way, or act like the rules don’t apply to them. This sense of entitlement creates tension and conflict in relationships, leaving you feeling frustrated and unappreciated.
6. They’re jealous and can’t handle criticism.
Narcissists often envy other people’s successes and are hypersensitive to criticism. They might downplay your achievements or even try to sabotage your efforts if they feel threatened. They’re quick to anger or defensiveness when their flaws are pointed out, which makes open communication difficult.
7. They use and manipulate people.
Narcissists are experts at manipulating anyone and everyone to get what they want. They use flattery, guilt trips, or even threats to control and exploit you, their boss, or even their own parents. They might even play the victim to gain your sympathy. This manipulative behaviour can leave you feeling used, confused, and emotionally drained.
8. They have trouble with relationships.
Because they’re so self-centred and lack empathy, narcissists often struggle to maintain healthy relationships. They might cycle through partners quickly or engage in emotionally abusive behaviours like gaslighting, making you question your own sanity and reality.
9. They play the victim.
Source: Unsplash Narcissists often portray themselves as the victim, blaming others for their problems, even when it’s clear they are at fault. They might twist situations to make it seem like they’re the ones being mistreated, making you feel guilty or responsible for their unhappiness.
10. They lack accountability.
Narcissists rarely take responsibility for their own actions or mistakes. They’ll deflect blame, make excuses, or even deny that they did anything wrong. This lack of accountability can make it frustratingly difficult to resolve conflicts or improve the relationship.
11. They’re hypersensitive to perceived slights.
Even the smallest perceived criticism or offence can set off a narcissist. They might overreact, hold grudges, or engage in vengeful behaviour, making it seem like you’re constantly walking on eggshells around them.
12. They have unstable moods and emotions.
Narcissists can be charming one minute and rageful the next. Their moods can change quickly and unpredictably, leaving you feeling confused and insecure about what to expect. This emotional instability can create a chaotic and stressful environment that takes a toll on your own well-being.
13. They have a distorted sense of reality.
Narcissists often live in a fantasy world where they are the hero or the victim. They might have unrealistic expectations of themselves and others, and they might refuse to see things as they truly are, making it impossible to have honest conversations or find common ground.
14. They lack genuine intimacy and connection.
Despite their charm and charisma, narcissists often struggle to form deep and meaningful connections with others. They might be incapable of true empathy or intimacy, making their relationships feel superficial and unfulfilling. Their focus on themselves and their own needs can leave their partners feeling emotionally empty and alone, like they’re never truly seen or understood.
