Everyone wants to be liked, but when you start constantly worrying about what other people think of you, it can really mess with your happiness.
It’s a slippery slope that can lead to overthinking, anxiety, and even losing sight of your own desires. So how do you know if you’ve crossed the line from caring about your reputation to being overly concerned with other people’s opinions? Here are some subtle signs to watch out for.
1. You never say what you really think.
Maybe you keep quiet instead of disagreeing with someone in a meeting. Or you nod along with a friend’s opinion even if you don’t genuinely feel the same way. While a little diplomacy is important, constantly censoring your true thoughts might be a sign you’re afraid of being judged or disliked if people knew what you really believed.
2. You apologise way too much, even when it’s not your fault.
You find yourself saying “sorry” all the time, even for things that are out of your control or not your responsibility. You take on blame even when it’s not warranted, just to avoid potential conflict or disapproval. This constant apologising can undermine your self-worth and make you appear less confident.
3. You live for other people’s approval.
Source: Unsplash Whether it’s a social media post, a new outfit, or a big life decision, you need constant reassurance from other people. You feel insecure without external validation and can’t make decisions on your own without seeking input from anyone and everyone. This dependence on external approval can hinder your personal growth and prevent you from trusting your own instincts.
4. You change your behaviour or appearance to fit in.
Source: Unsplash You morph into a chameleon, adapting your personality, interests, and even your style to match the people you’re with. You might suppress your own preferences or opinions to avoid standing out or being judged. This constant shape-shifting can be exhausting and prevent you from forming genuine connections based on your true self.
5. You overthink every little thing you say or do.
Source: Unsplash You replay conversations in your head, analysing every word and gesture, worrying about how you came across. You second-guess yourself constantly, fearing you might have offended someone or made a fool of yourself. This overthinking can lead to anxiety, indecision, and a loss of spontaneity.
6. You’re afraid of making mistakes or failing.
Source: Unsplash The fear of making a mistake or not living up to other people’s expectations can be paralysing. You might avoid taking risks or pursuing your dreams because you’re afraid of what anyone else might think. This fear of failure can hold you back from achieving your full potential and living a life that truly aligns with your values.
7. You don’t know how to set boundaries or say ‘no’.
Source: Unsplash You say yes to things you don’t want to do, just to avoid disappointing or upsetting people. You have trouble setting boundaries and often put other people’s needs before your own. This people-pleasing behaviour can lead to resentment, burnout, and a loss of self-respect.
8. You constantly compare yourself to other people.
Source: Unsplash You scroll through social media, feeling inadequate and jealous of other people’s seemingly perfect lives. You compare your achievements, appearance, and relationships to those around you, leading to feelings of inferiority and dissatisfaction. Remember, social media is a highlight reel, not real life.
9. You fish for compliments constantly.
Source: Unsplash While it’s nice to hear positive things about ourselves, constantly needing reassurance from other people can be a sign of insecurity and low self-esteem. If you find yourself fishing for compliments or feeling deflated when you don’t receive them, it might be time to focus on building your self-confidence from within. Remember, true validation comes from yourself, not from anyone else.
10. You take criticism personally and get defensive.
Source: Unsplash Feedback is a valuable tool for growth and improvement, but if you take every critique as a personal attack, it can hinder your progress. Instead of getting defensive or shutting down, try to listen to the feedback with an open mind. Consider whether there might be some truth to it, and if so, use it as an opportunity to learn and grow.
11. You’re overly concerned with your appearance.
Source: Unsplash While taking care of your appearance is important, obsessing over every little detail can be a sign of insecurity and a need for external validation. If you find yourself constantly worrying about how you look or comparing yourself to other people, it might be time to focus on cultivating self-love and acceptance. Remember, true beauty comes from within, not from a flawless appearance.
12. You constantly seek approval for your decisions.
Source: Unsplash If you’re always second-guessing yourself and seeking approval from other people before making even the smallest decisions, it can be a sign that you don’t trust your own judgment. It’s important to develop your own internal compass and make choices that align with your values and goals, regardless of what anyone else might think.
13. You feel anxious or stressed in social situations.
Source: Unsplash If you constantly worry about saying the wrong thing, making a bad impression, or being judged by people, it can make social interactions feel like a minefield. This social anxiety can stem from a fear of disapproval or a lack of confidence. It’s important to remember that everyone feels insecure at times, and it’s okay to not be perfect. Focus on being yourself and connecting with people who appreciate you for who you are.
14. You’re easily influenced by peer pressure.
Source: Unsplash If you find yourself going along with the crowd even when you disagree, it might be a sign that you’re overly concerned with fitting in and being accepted. While it’s important to consider other people’s opinions, it’s equally important to stay true to your own values and beliefs. Don’t be afraid to stand out from the crowd and make choices that align with your own personal compass.
15. You base your self-worth on external factors.
Source: Unsplash If your self-esteem is tied to your achievements, your appearance, or other people’s opinions, it’s likely to be fragile and unstable. It’s important to cultivate a sense of self-worth that comes from within, based on your values, your character, and your unique gifts and talents. Remember, you are inherently valuable, regardless of what anyone else might think or say.
