It’s normal to feel like you’re just going through the motions every once in a while, but if that’s your norm, there’s a problem.
You might write it off as boredom, but you could be feeling so “meh” because you’re actually lonely. Here’s how you know you’re feeling isolated and need a bit of connection in your life.
1. You find yourself constantly scrolling through social media, even though it leaves you feeling empty.
We’ve all spent hours mindlessly scrolling through endless feeds, hoping to find something, anything, to fill the void. But instead of feeling connected, you end up feeling even more isolated and disconnected. It’s a hollow substitute for real human interaction, a temporary distraction that ultimately leaves you feeling worse.
2. You agree to social events, even when you’d rather stay home, just to avoid being alone.
You force yourself to go to parties, gatherings, or events, even when you’d rather curl up on the sofa with a good book. You tell yourself you’re just being social, but deep down, you’re afraid of facing the silence and emptiness of your own company. It’s a temporary fix that masks the underlying loneliness.
3. You feel a pang of jealousy when you see other people enjoying close relationships or friendships.
You scroll through photos of friends laughing together, couples cuddling on the sofa, or families enjoying a meal, and a wave of sadness washes over you. You long for that sense of belonging, that deep connection with other people. It’s a reminder of what you’re missing, and it can be a painful experience.
4. You find yourself talking to inanimate objects or pets more than you talk to actual people.
When you’re feeling lonely, it’s easy to turn to inanimate objects or pets for companionship. You might find yourself chatting away to your houseplants, having deep conversations with your cat, or narrating your day to the toaster. It’s a harmless way to fill the silence, but it’s also a sign that you’re craving human connection.
5. You feel a sense of relief when plans get cancelled, even though you were initially looking forward to them.
You might agree to social plans out of a sense of obligation or fear of missing out, but when those plans fall through, you secretly feel a sense of relief. You tell yourself you’re just tired or busy, but deep down, you’re grateful for the excuse to stay home and avoid social interaction. It’s a sign that you’re not genuinely enjoying socialising and might be using it as a way to avoid facing your loneliness.
6. You have a hard time falling asleep or wake up feeling restless in the middle of the night.
Loneliness can disrupt your sleep patterns, making it difficult to fall asleep or stay asleep. You might find your mind racing with worries or regrets, or you might simply feel a sense of emptiness and unease. It’s important to address the underlying loneliness to improve your sleep quality and overall wellness.
7. You turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as overeating, excessive drinking, or compulsive shopping, to numb the pain of loneliness.
Source: Unsplash When you’re feeling lonely, it’s tempting to turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms to numb the pain or distract yourself from your feelings. But these behaviours only offer temporary relief and can ultimately worsen your emotional state. It’s important to find healthy ways to cope with loneliness, such as connecting with supportive friends, pursuing hobbies, or even going to therapy.
8. You feel a sense of emptiness or hollowness, even when you’re surrounded by people.
Loneliness isn’t just about being physically alone; it’s about feeling disconnected and isolated, even in a crowd. You might be surrounded by people, but if you don’t feel truly seen, heard, or understood, you can still experience a deep sense of loneliness. It’s important to cultivate meaningful connections and look for relationships that fulfil you.
9. You find yourself constantly comparing your life to everyone else’s, feeling like you’re falling short or missing out.
Social media can make those feelings of inadequacy and loneliness even worse. You might find yourself constantly comparing your life to everyone online, focusing on what you lack rather than what you have. Focus on your own path and appreciate the unique beauty of your own life.
10. You avoid making plans or asking people to hang out because it makes you uncomfortable.
While it’s perfectly normal to enjoy alone time, consistently avoiding social interactions or making excuses to stay home can be a sign of underlying loneliness. It’s important to push yourself outside your comfort zone occasionally and make an effort to connect with people, even if it feels a bit uncomfortable at first. You might be surprised at how rewarding those connections can be.
11. You feel a sense of dread or anxiety when you’re alone for too long.
Alone time can be enjoyable and rejuvenating, but if you experience a sense of dread or anxiety when you’re by yourself, it might be a sign that you’re struggling with loneliness. It’s important to find healthy ways to cope with those feelings.
12. You find it hard to open up to people or sharing your true feelings.
Loneliness can sometimes lead to emotional withdrawal and a reluctance to share your true self with other people. You might fear vulnerability or rejection, so you keep your guard up and avoid deep connections. However, true connection and intimacy require openness and vulnerability.
13. You feel a sense of detachment or disengagement from the world around you.
Source: Unsplash When you’re feeling lonely, it’s easy to feel disconnected from the world and the people in it. You might go through the motions of daily life, but feel like you’re not truly present or engaged. It’s important to find ways to reconnect with your surroundings, whether it’s through volunteering, joining a club, or simply striking up conversations with strangers. Small acts of connection can make a big difference.
14. You experience physical symptoms, such as headaches, stomachaches, or fatigue, that seem to be related to your emotional state.
Loneliness can take a toll on your physical health as well as your mental health. You might experience unexplained aches and pains, fatigue, or a weakened immune system. It’s important to address the underlying loneliness to improve your overall wellness. Consider talking to your doctor or a mental health professional for support.
15. You find yourself constantly reminiscing about past relationships or friendships, longing for the connection you once had.
It’s natural to miss people who were once important in your life. But if you find yourself constantly dwelling on the past and longing for those connections, it might be a sign that you’re feeling lonely in the present. Focus on building new relationships and creating meaningful connections in your current life. Don’t let the past hold you back from experiencing joy and fulfilment in the present.
