We all know those families that seem a bit too perfect on the outside, but behind closed doors, there’s an unsettling dynamic at play.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re walking on eggshells around a family member, or if your relationships feel one-sided and emotionally draining, you might be dealing with a narcissist. Here are some common signs that could indicate you have a narcissist in your family.
1. Conversations always revolve around them.
It’s like their favourite topic is themselves. Everything becomes a story about their achievements, their problems, their opinions…it’s exhausting! They might interrupt you mid-sentence to steer the conversation back to themselves, or downplay your experiences and accomplishments to make themselves look better.
2. They have an inflated sense of self-importance.
Source: Unsplash They genuinely believe they’re better than everyone else, and they’ll let you know it. They might brag about their intelligence, talents, or accomplishments, or expect special treatment and admiration from everyone around them. Their ego seems to have no limits, and they thrive on being the centre of attention.
3. They lack empathy and have difficulty understanding other people’s feelings.
They struggle to put themselves in your shoes and often dismiss your emotions or concerns. They might make insensitive comments, offer unsolicited advice, or simply not listen when you’re trying to share something important. It’s like they can’t (or won’t) comprehend how their actions affect other people.
4. They’re masters of manipulation and control.
They’re experts at getting what they want, often using guilt trips, emotional blackmail, or even gaslighting to bend you to their will. They might play the victim, twist your words, or make you doubt your own sanity. They’re masters of the mind game, and they’ll do whatever it takes to maintain power and control.
5. They crave admiration and validation.
They need constant praise and attention to feed their fragile ego. They might fish for compliments, surround themselves with “yes” people, or become jealous and insecure when someone else receives recognition. Their need for validation can be insatiable, and they’ll go to great lengths to get it.
6. They have a sense of entitlement and expect special treatment.
Rules don’t apply to them. They believe they deserve the best of everything and often take advantage of people to get it. They might expect you to cater to their every whim, prioritise their needs over your own, or even excuse their bad behaviour because they’re “special.”
7. They’re highly critical and judgmental.
Source: Unsplash They’re quick to point out your flaws and shortcomings, but they rarely acknowledge their own mistakes. They might belittle your achievements, criticise your appearance, or gossip about people behind their backs. Their negativity can be contagious and leave you feeling insecure and inadequate.
8. They have a history of unstable or tumultuous relationships.
Their relationships often follow a pattern of idealisation, devaluation, and discard. They might love-bomb you at first, showering you with attention and affection, but then quickly turn on you when you don’t meet their unrealistic expectations. Their relationships are often marked by drama, conflict, and emotional turmoil.
9. They are experts at playing the victim.
Even when they’re clearly in the wrong, they’ll somehow manage to twist the narrative to make themselves look like the injured party. They might blame other people for their problems, exaggerate their suffering, or use their supposed victimhood to manipulate and control those around them. It’s a classic tactic to avoid taking responsibility for their actions and garner sympathy.
10. They create drama and thrive on chaos.
Peace and harmony? Not in their vocabulary. They seem to thrive on conflict, creating drama wherever they go. They might instigate arguments, spread rumours, or pit family members against each other. This chaos keeps them at the centre of attention and allows them to manipulate situations to their advantage.
11. They never apologise sincerely (if at all).
Even when they’re clearly in the wrong, they’ll rarely offer a genuine apology. If they do say “sorry,” it’s often accompanied by excuses, justifications, or a subtle shift of blame onto you. They might even turn the apology into an opportunity to highlight their own virtues or downplay your feelings.
12. They often use gaslighting tactics to make you doubt yourself.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where the narcissist makes you question your own sanity, memory, or perception of reality. They might deny things they said or did, twist your words, or accuse you of being overly sensitive or dramatic. This can leave you feeling confused, insecure, and unsure of yourself.
13. They may engage in smear campaigns to discredit you.
If you dare to challenge them or expose their true colours, be prepared for a smear campaign. They might spread rumours about you, exaggerate your flaws, or try to turn oeioke against you. This is their way of maintaining control and protecting their fragile ego by discrediting anyone who poses a threat to their carefully constructed image.
14. They often have a history of broken promises and unreliable behaviour.
They might make grand promises and commitments, but rarely follow through. They might cancel plans at the last minute, forget important dates, or simply not show up when you need them. Their unreliability can be frustrating and hurtful, leaving you feeling disappointed and let down.
15. They leave you feeling emotionally drained and exhausted.
Dealing with a narcissist can be emotionally taxing. Their constant need for attention, drama, and manipulation can leave you feeling drained, anxious, and even depressed. You might find yourself walking on eggshells, second-guessing yourself, or feeling like you’re never good enough. It’s important to remember that their behaviour is not your fault and that you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness.
