At the risk of stating the obvious here, but parents aren’t perfect.
They make mistakes, sometimes big ones, but that doesn’t always mean they were bad people. In fact, most of the time, it just means they’re human. If you’re questioning how to see them or how much slack to cut them, here are some signs they had good intentions, even if they didn’t always get it right. Everyone deserves a bit of grace, don’t you think?
1. They admitted when they were wrong.
Not all parents apologise, but if yours ever owned up to mistakes, that says a lot. It means they recognised their flaws and cared enough to try and do better, even if they didn’t always succeed. Apologising as a parent takes humility. It’s easy to be stubborn and insist you’re right, but if they were willing to admit when they got it wrong, it shows they valued your feelings, even when they didn’t always handle things well.
2. They did the best they could with what they had.
Some parents were dealing with their own struggles, whether financial, emotional, or personal. Maybe they didn’t always handle things well, but if they kept going and tried to provide what they could, that effort matters. People can only parent withj the tools they have. If they gave what they had, even if it wasn’t perfect, it means they cared. It’s not an excuse for harm, but it does mean they weren’t intentionally trying to make life harder for you.
3. They wanted better for you than they had for themselves.
Source: Unsplash Many parents push their kids towards opportunities they never had. Sometimes, that came across as pressure or unrealistic expectations, but at its core, it came from wanting you to have a better life than they did. Even if their approach wasn’t great, the fact that they wanted you to succeed or have more than they did shows good intentions. They may not have always expressed it the right way, but the underlying message was that they cared about your future.
4. They tried to protect you, even if they didn’t always know how.
Some parents overprotect, others don’t protect enough. Either way, most of them act out of love, even when their approach wasn’t ideal. Maybe they were strict, controlling, or even got it completely wrong — but if they were trying to keep you safe, that’s worth something. You shouldn’t be excusing harmful behaviour, but do recognise that fear and love often get tangled. Even if their protection was misguided, it likely came from a place of wanting to shield you from pain.
5. They showed love in their own way.
Not every parent is emotionally expressive. Some struggle to say “I love you” or show affection, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t care. Love can show up in different ways — through small acts, support, or simply always being there. If they expressed love through food, fixing things, or just quietly making sure you were okay, that was their way of showing they cared. It may not have been perfect, but effort counts.
6. They tried to teach you important life lessons.
Even if they had their own issues, they probably still wanted you to learn how to deal with life. Maybe their advice didn’t always land well, or they struggled to follow it themselves, but if they passed down any wisdom, that shows they wanted you to do well. Parents don’t always practise what they preach, but that doesn’t mean the lessons weren’t valuable. Trying to guide you, even if they weren’t the best role models, shows they wanted better for you.
7. They made sacrifices, even if you didn’t realise it at the time.
Maybe they worked long hours, went without things, or put their own dreams on hold to make sure you had what you needed. You might not have seen those sacrifices as a child, but looking back, you might notice them now. It doesn’t mean they were perfect, but choosing to put your needs before their own in any way shows they cared. Parenting isn’t easy, and the things they quietly gave up for you shouldn’t go unnoticed.
8. They celebrated your wins, no matter how small.
Good parents take pride in their kids’ achievements, whether it’s getting a good grade, landing a job, or even just seeing you happy. If they cheered you on, even in small ways, it means they genuinely wanted the best for you. Some parents struggle to express pride outright, but if they showed it through encouragement, bragging about you to other people, or even just being present at important moments, that was their way of saying they were proud.
9. They let you make mistakes instead of controlling everything.
It’s tempting for parents to try and micromanage their children’s lives, but the good ones recognise that mistakes are part of learning. Even if they worried, if they let you figure things out instead of forcing their own way, that shows trust. Letting go isn’t easy, and if they gave you room to grow, even when it scared them, it means they respected you as your own person, not just as their child.
10. They apologised in their own way.
Not every parent comes out and says “I’m sorry,” but that doesn’t mean they didn’t try to make up for their mistakes. Sometimes, an apology comes through actions rather than words. If they made an effort to do better after an argument, tried to make peace in their own way, or showed they regretted something, that counts. Words matter, but effort matters too.
11. They showed up when you needed them most.
Even if they weren’t perfect day to day, the important question is: were they there when it really mattered? Whether it was emotional support, financial help, or simply just being present, showing up says a lot. Life gets complicated, and not all parents are great at expressing love consistently. However, if they dropped everything to be there when you needed them, that speaks volumes about who they really were.
12. They worried about you, even if they didn’t always show it well.
Some parents express worry in ways that seem frustrating — like nagging, questioning your choices, or being overly cautious. But underneath that, there’s usually concern, not control. It may not have come across as kindness, but if they constantly checked in, set rules, or made a fuss over your safety, it was probably their way of saying they cared, even if it annoyed you at the time.
13. They wanted your forgiveness, even if they didn’t know how to ask for it.
Some parents struggle with admitting their faults, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t wish they could undo certain things. If they ever made an effort to mend things, even in a roundabout way, it’s a sign they didn’t want to lose you. Maybe they covered up past mistakes by trying to be a better parent later, or they avoided tough conversations because they didn’t know how to face them. If they made any effort to repair things, that says something about their intentions.
14. They let you be yourself, even if they didn’t always understand you.
Not all parents ‘get’ their kids, especially if they come from different generations or mindsets. But if they allowed you to have your own interests, personality, and beliefs without forcing their own onto you, that’s a sign of respect. They may not have always agreed with your choices, but if they let you grow into your own person instead of shaping you into a version of themselves, that shows they loved you for who you were.
15. They loved you, even if they didn’t always show it in the right way.
Some parents struggle with expressing emotions, and that can make childhood feel complicated. But love isn’t always loud or obvious—it can be found in actions, consistency, and even the little things they did. Even if they messed up, if they stuck around, tried in their own way, and never gave up on you, that means something. Nobody gets it right 100% of the time, but effort, love, and good intentions can exist alongside mistakes.
