Obsessing over people think about you and your life is utterly exhausting.
It can make you second-guess your decisions, hold back from saying what’s on your mind, and stop you from living life the way you actually want to. But the truth is, most people aren’t thinking about you as much as you imagine (or at all). They’re too busy worrying about themselves. And even if they are judging you, does it really matter? Obviously, being able to just not care isn’t a skill that you suddenly master overnight, but there are things you can do to wean yourself off your preoccupation with other people’s opinions.
1. Remind yourself that people are too busy thinking about themselves.
It’s easy to assume that everyone is watching and judging your every move, but in reality, most people are caught up in their own lives. They’re thinking about their own problems, their own insecurities, and what other people think of them. Once you realise that people aren’t paying as much attention to you as you think, it becomes a lot easier to stop worrying. You’re not the centre of their universe, just like they’re not the centre of yours.
2. Ask yourself, “Will this matter in a year?”
Most of the things we stress over—awkward moments, embarrassing mistakes, or what someone might think—fade with time. What seems huge now probably won’t even cross your mind in a few months, let alone years. Next time you’re stressing about what someone thinks, ask yourself if it’ll still matter in the long run. If the answer is no, it’s not worth your energy. Save that mental space for something that actually adds value to your life.
3. Accept that you can’t control what other people think.
No matter what you do, some people will like you, some won’t, and some just won’t care either way. Trying to control how people see you is a battle you’ll never win. Instead of shaping yourself to fit other people’s expectations, focus on being true to yourself. The right people will appreciate you for who you are, not for who you’re pretending to be. The ones who don’t were never your people to begin with.
4. Realise that people’s opinions don’t define your worth.
Your value isn’t based on what other people think of you. Whether they approve, disapprove, like, or dislike you, none of that changes who you are. Define your worth based on how you feel about yourself, not on how many people agree with you. The only person who truly needs to believe in you is you. It sounds a bit cheesy, sure, but at the end of the day, it’s true.
5. Get comfortable with being misunderstood.
Not everyone will see things your way, and that’s okay. Some people will misinterpret your actions, misunderstand your intentions, or form opinions based on their own biases. You don’t need to explain yourself to everyone. The people who truly matter will take the time to understand you. It’s not your job to convince the ones who don’t.
6. Focus on what makes you happy.
If you’re constantly living for other people’s approval, you’ll never fully enjoy life. Do things because they bring you joy, not because you’re worried about how they’ll be seen by other people. The more you focus on what genuinely makes you happy, the less you’ll care about whether others approve. True freedom comes from living for yourself, not for an audience.
7. Stop overanalysing every conversation you have—just let it be.
Replaying conversations in your head and stressing over what you said or how you came across is a waste of time. Most people forget small interactions quickly because they’re too focused on their own lives. Instead of picking apart everything you do, remind yourself that people aren’t thinking about it nearly as much as you are. Let it go and move on.
8. Challenge your inner critic.
The voice in your head that tells you people are judging you is often just your own insecurities talking. When that voice starts up, ask yourself: “Is this actually true, or am I assuming the worst?” More often than not, it’s just self-doubt, not reality. The way you speak to yourself matters, so be a bit nicer to yourself. The world is harsh enough, so any bit of kindness you can show yourself matters.
9. Surround yourself with people who encourage and inspire you.
Being around supportive people who like you for who you are makes it easier to stop worrying about the opinions of those who don’t. If someone constantly makes you feel like you have to prove yourself, they’re probably not the kind of person you need in your life. Prioritise relationships that make you feel good about yourself. You should be happy with the people in your life, not miserable.
10. Practise doing things without looking for anyone else’s approval.
Try making a decision without asking for validation. Post something online without overthinking how it will be received. Wear something bold without worrying if it’s “too much.” The more you act without waiting for approval, the more confident you’ll become in your own choices. It’s a habit that takes practice, but once you build it, it’s life-changing.
11. Embrace imperfection more often.
Worrying about what other people think often comes from wanting to appear perfect. But perfection is impossible, and trying to maintain that image is exhausting. It’s also a bit boring—who wants a sanitised version of a person? That sounds more like a robot. People connect with authenticity, not perfection. Owning your flaws makes you more relatable and confident. Perfection is boring—being real is what makes you interesting.
12. Limit time with people who make you feel self-conscious.
If you’re constantly second-guessing yourself around certain people, ask yourself why. Do they criticize you? Make passive-aggressive comments? Compare you to other people? You don’t need to spend time with people who make you feel like you’re not enough. Protect your energy by limiting those interactions and spending time with people who build you up instead.
13. Accept that not everyone will like you.
Even the kindest, most likeable people have critics. No matter who you are, there will always be someone who doesn’t vibe with you—and that’s perfectly fine. You don’t gel with everyone you meet, do you? Instead of wasting energy trying to change their minds, focus on the people who appreciate you just as you are. Life’s too short to try and win over everyone.
14. Remind yourself that confidence comes from within.
True confidence isn’t about getting approval from others—it’s about trusting yourself. The more you rely on external validation, the more insecure you’ll feel when it’s not there. When you build confidence from the inside out, other people’s opinions lose their power over you. You become unshakeable when you believe in yourself first.
15. Keep showing up as yourself.
The best way to stop worrying about what people think is to just keep being yourself unapologetically. The more you embrace who you are, the less their opinions will matter. At the end of the day, the people who truly care about you will appreciate the real you, not a version of you designed to please everyone else. The best part is that when you stop caring so much, life becomes a whole lot more fun.
