If you know you’re about to have a confrontation with someone, it’s natural for your nerves to go a little, especially if you’re someone who likes keeping the peace.
However, sometimes you have to stand up for yourself and what’s right, even if it’s a bit scary and super awkward. The key is to lead with confidence and hold your ground. Doing that may be easier said than done, but doing these things might help you out.
1. Take a few deep breaths to calm your nerves.
Your heart is probably racing faster than a cheetah, so take a moment to breathe deeply. Inhale through your nose for four counts, hold for four, and exhale for four. It’s a simple technique that can help slow your heart rate and clear your mind, giving you a moment of calm before the storm.
2. Remind yourself of your strengths and how you’ve handled conflict in the past.
We often forget how capable we are when we’re feeling nervous. Take a minute to think about times you’ve handled tough situations well in the past. Maybe you aced a job interview or stood up to a bully. Remembering these moments can give you a much-needed confidence boost and remind you that you’ve got the skills to handle this confrontation, too.
3. Practise power poses to boost your confidence.
It might sound silly, but striking a power pose can actually make you feel more confident. Stand tall with your feet apart and hands on your hips, like a superhero. Hold this pose for a couple of minutes before your confrontation. It’s a quick and easy way to trick your brain into feeling more powerful and self-assured.
4. Write down your main points to stay focused.
When we’re nervous, our minds can go blank faster than you can say “confrontation”. Jot down the key points you want to make on a small notepad or your phone. This way, you won’t forget important details in the heat of the moment. Having a written reference can help you stay on track and feel more prepared.
5. Visualise a positive outcome to the confrontation.
Instead of imagining worst-case scenarios, try picturing a positive resolution. Close your eyes and imagine the confrontation going well, with both parties finding common ground. A bit of mental rehearsal can help reduce anxiety and make you feel more optimistic about the outcome. Plus, it’s a lot more fun than worrying about everything that could go wrong!
6. Dress in a way that makes you feel confident.
You know that outfit that makes you feel like you can conquer the world? Wear that! Whether it’s your lucky socks or your power suit, putting on clothes that boost your confidence can make a real difference to your mindset. When you look good, you tend to feel good, too. Just make sure it’s appropriate for the situation, of course!
7. Listen to upbeat music to pump yourself up.
Music has an incredible ability to change our mood. Create a playlist of songs that make you feel powerful and confident. Pop on your headphones and listen to your personal soundtrack before the confrontation. Whether it’s rock, pop, or classical, choose tunes that get you feeling ready to take on the world.
8. Role-play the confrontation with a friend beforehand.
Practise makes perfect, right? Ask a friend to help you role-play the confrontation. They can play the other person while you practise what you want to say. This rehearsal can help you feel more prepared and less nervous. Plus, your friend might offer some helpful feedback or suggestions you hadn’t thought of.
9. Use positive self-talk to boost your morale.
The way we talk to ourselves can have a huge impact on our confidence. Replace negative thoughts like “I can’t do this” with positive affirmations like “I can handle this situation”. It might feel a bit cheesy at first, but positive self-talk can really help shift your mindset and boost your confidence. You’ve got this!
10. Set realistic expectations for the confrontation.
Sometimes, we psych ourselves out by expecting perfection. Remember, a confrontation doesn’t have to end with everyone skipping off into the sunset. Set realistic goals for what you want to achieve. Maybe it’s just expressing your feelings clearly or finding a small compromise. Keeping your expectations in check can help reduce anxiety and boost your confidence.
11. Take care of your physical needs before the confrontation.
It’s hard to feel confident when you’re hungry, thirsty, or need the loo. Make sure you’ve eaten a light meal, had some water, and taken care of any other physical needs before the confrontation. Being comfortable physically can help you feel more confident mentally. Plus, you don’t want your growling stomach to be the loudest voice in the room!
12. Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel nervous.
Here’s a secret: everyone gets nervous before confrontations. It’s completely normal and doesn’t mean you’re weak or unprepared. Acknowledge your nerves and remind yourself that they’re just a sign that you care about the outcome. Accepting your feelings can actually help you feel more confident about facing the situation.
13. Focus on your body language to appear more confident.
Even if you’re feeling nervous on the inside, you can project confidence through your body language. Stand or sit up straight, make eye contact, and try to keep your arms uncrossed. These small adjustments can not only make you seem more confident to other people, but can actually help you feel more confident, too. It’s like a confidence feedback loop!
14. Prepare a few phrases to buy yourself time if needed.
Sometimes in a confrontation, we need a moment to gather our thoughts. Prepare a few phrases that can buy you some time, like “That’s an interesting point, let me think about that for a moment” or “Could you clarify what you mean by that?” These can give you a breather if you’re feeling overwhelmed and help you respond more thoughtfully.
15. Remember that your worth isn’t determined by this one confrontation.
Finally, remind yourself that your value as a person doesn’t hinge on how this confrontation goes. You’re still you, regardless of the outcome. This perspective can take some of the pressure off and help you feel more confident. After all, you’ve faced challenges before and you’ll face them again. This is just one moment in your life, not a defining one.
