Everyone wants a partner who’s ambitious and has professional goals, but there’s a thin line between working hard and being a workaholic.
Being married to the latter can be really tough, especially when your partner either refuses to accept that they’re overdoing it in their professional lives, or when there are mental health issues spurring their behaviour on. Needless to say, the fact that they spend most of their time on their job and very little with you can start to take its toll on your relationship in various ways.
1. Your partner is physically present but mentally absent.
Even when your workaholic spouse is at home, their mind is often still at the office. They might be physically in the room, but they’re mentally reviewing reports or planning their next project. The lack of mental presence can make you feel lonely and disconnected, even when you’re together.
2. Date nights are often interrupted or cancelled.
Planning quality time together becomes a challenge when work always takes priority. You end up eating alone at restaurants or watching films solo because your partner had to stay late at the office or take an urgent call. These constant interruptions can make it hard to maintain intimacy and connection in your relationship.
3. Holidays and weekends become extensions of the work week.
For a workaholic, the concept of time off often doesn’t exist. Weekends and holidays, which should be times for relaxation and bonding, turn into opportunities to catch up on work. This can leave you feeling like your relationship always comes second to your partner’s job.
4. Your partner misses important family events.
Birthdays, anniversaries, and family gatherings often take a back seat to work commitments. Your workaholic spouse might miss your child’s school play or forget your anniversary because they’re wrapped up in a project. These absences can create resentment and a sense of your family not being a priority.
5. Conversations are dominated by work topics.
When you do get a chance to talk, the conversation often revolves around your partner’s work. They might spend hours discussing office politics or project details, leaving little room for personal connection or discussions about your relationship and family life.
6. You feel guilty for wanting more attention.
It’s common to feel conflicted about wanting more time with your partner. You understand their work is important, but you also crave their attention and presence. It’s an internal struggle that can lead to feelings of guilt for wanting to ‘distract’ them from their responsibilities.
7. Your own needs and interests get pushed aside.
With one partner so focused on work, the other often picks up the slack in other areas of life. You end up handling all household responsibilities, childcare, and social obligations. A huge imbalance like this can leave you feeling overwhelmed and like your own interests and needs don’t matter.
8. Financial success doesn’t compensate for emotional absence.
Workaholics often justify their behaviour by pointing to the financial benefits of their hard work. While financial stability is important, it doesn’t make up for the lack of emotional connection and shared experiences in a relationship. You’ll likely start wishing for less money and more quality time together.
9. Your partner’s stress becomes your stress.
Living with a workaholic means you’re often on the receiving end of their work-related stress. Their mood swings, anxiety, and frustration can spill over into your home life, affecting the entire family’s well-being. You may start walking on eggshells to avoid adding to their stress.
10. Making long-term plans becomes difficult.
Planning for the future, whether it’s a holiday or major life decisions, can be challenging when work always takes precedence. Your partner might be hesitant to commit to plans or might cancel at the last minute due to work obligations, leaving you feeling unsure about your future together.
11. You struggle with feelings of resentment.
Over time, the constant prioritisation of work over family can lead to deep-seated resentment. You get bitter about your partner’s choices and the impact they have on your relationship. These feelings can be hard to overcome without open communication and changes in behaviour.
12. Your social life suffers.
With your partner always working, you have no choice but to go to social events alone, or you turn down invitations because you don’t want to go solo. As a result, you end up experiencing feelings of isolation and can strain your friendships. You might also feel embarrassed constantly making excuses for your partner’s absence.
13. You worry about your partner’s health.
Workaholics often neglect their physical and mental health in pursuit of career success. You might find yourself constantly worried about your partner’s lack of sleep, poor eating habits, or high stress levels. The fact that you’re always so worried for their health can add another layer of stress to your relationship.
14. Intimacy and physical connection decrease.
With long work hours and constant mental preoccupation with job-related issues, physical intimacy often takes a back seat. You might find your intimate life declining or feeling like these moments are rushed or distracted. The lack of physical connection can further erode your emotional bond.
15. You feel like a single parent.
If you have children, you might often feel like you’re raising them alone. Your workaholic partner might miss important milestones, be absent for daily routines, or be too tired to actively participate in parenting when they are home. Such a huge imbalance in parenting responsibilities can be exhausting and frustrating.
