Narcissists are often seen as being confident and totally unfazed by criticism, but that’s not actually the case.
Even though they don’t show it, narcissists have plenty of insecurities and fears, just like anyone else. In fact, there are some surprising things that can totally shake their confidence and trigger their anxiety. When these things happen, it’s only a matter of time before their masks slip and you see their true colours come shining through.
1. Being ignored
Source: Unsplash Narcissists crave attention and validation like oxygen, so being ignored is their kryptonite. It threatens their inflated sense of self-importance and leaves them feeling insignificant. This can lead to desperate attempts to regain attention, even if it means resorting to negative or manipulative behaviours.
2. Losing control
Narcissists thrive on control. They want to dictate the narrative, manipulate situations, and have the final say in everything. When they lose control, whether it’s in a relationship, a job, or a social setting, it can trigger a deep-seated fear of vulnerability and powerlessness.
3. Being exposed
Narcissists carefully craft a mask of perfection to hide their flaws and insecurities. The fear of being exposed, of having their true selves revealed to the world, is a constant source of anxiety for them. They will go to great lengths to maintain their image and avoid any situation that could threaten their carefully constructed facade.
4. Rejection
While they may act like they don’t care, narcissists are deeply afraid of rejection. Whether it’s a romantic rejection, a professional setback, or social ostracism, any form of rejection can shatter their fragile ego and trigger feelings of shame and inadequacy.
5. Not being the best
Narcissists have an insatiable need to be the best at everything they do. They constantly compare themselves to everyone else and try to outshine them. When they realise they’re not the best, or when someone surpasses them, it can be a devastating blow to their self-esteem.
6. Vulnerability
Narcissists build walls around their emotions to protect themselves from getting hurt. They avoid vulnerability like the plague because it exposes their weaknesses and insecurities. Any situation that forces them to confront their emotions or reveal their true selves can be extremely unsettling for them.
7. Ageing
As narcissists age, they may start to experience a decline in their physical attractiveness and abilities. This can be a major source of anxiety for them, as their appearance and achievements are often tied to their self-worth. The fear of losing their youthful looks and vitality can lead to desperate attempts to maintain their image and deny the reality of ageing.
8. Losing their possessions
Narcissists often attach their self-worth to their material possessions. They believe that their wealth, status symbols, and luxurious lifestyle define them. The thought of losing these possessions can be terrifying for them, as it would strip away a significant part of their identity and leave them feeling empty and worthless.
9. Being ordinary
Narcissists desperately want to stand out and be seen as special. The idea of being ordinary or average is horrifying to them. They constantly seek validation and recognition for their achievements, appearance, and talents. Any suggestion that they’re not unique or extraordinary can trigger feelings of insecurity and inadequacy.
10. Feeling powerless
Narcissists crave power and control. They want to be in charge of their lives and everyone else’s too. Feeling powerless, whether it’s due to a personal setback, a loss of control in a relationship, or a professional failure, can be deeply distressing for them. It threatens their sense of superiority and leaves them feeling vulnerable and exposed.
11. Boredom
Source: Unsplash Narcissists thrive on excitement and stimulation. They need constant attention and admiration to fuel their ego. When they’re bored, their minds start to wander, and they may start to doubt their self-worth. This can lead to impulsive and destructive behaviours as they seek to escape the boredom and regain their sense of importance.
12. Criticism
Source: Unsplash Narcissists are extremely sensitive to criticism, even if it’s constructive. They see any form of criticism as a personal attack and a threat to their fragile ego. They may react with anger, defensiveness, or even aggression. This hypersensitivity to criticism makes it difficult for them to learn and grow, as they’re unwilling to acknowledge their flaws or mistakes.
13. Lack of admiration
Source: Unsplash Narcissists need constant admiration and validation to feel good about themselves. When they don’t receive the attention they crave, it can trigger feelings of insecurity and self-doubt. They may become clingy, demanding, or even manipulative in their attempts to secure the admiration they need.
14. Intimacy
Source: Unsplash While they may crave attention and validation, narcissists often struggle with intimacy. They’re scared of getting too close to people, as it would require them to let down their guard and reveal their true selves. They may engage in superficial relationships, but they avoid deep emotional connections because they fear being hurt or rejected.
15. Consequence
Source: Unsplash Narcissists often believe they are above the rules and consequences that apply to everyone else. They may engage in risky behaviours, manipulate people, or break the law, believing they are immune to repercussions. However, when they are faced with the consequences of their actions, it can be a rude awakening and a major blow to their ego.
