When someone feels like their beliefs are being questioned even slightly, they tend to get defensive and shut the conversation down.
They might not get rude or aggressive about it; a lot of times, it’s the little things they say that make it clear they’re not interested in reflection or deeper thought. These phrases aren’t always malicious, but they make it obvious that someone’s not ready to look at things from another angle, for whatever reason. These are some of the most common things people often say to avoid questioning their own beliefs, and what’s usually going on underneath.
1. “It’s just how I was raised.”
This can sound like a calm statement of background, but it’s often a subtle way of saying, “I don’t really want to think about this.” It uses upbringing as a shield against reflection. Yes, our roots matter. But using them to justify current views without question can keep outdated or harmful ideas comfortably untouched. Growth usually starts where that sentence ends.
2. “Let’s agree to disagree.”
This one can feel polite on the surface, but sometimes it’s just a shortcut out of discomfort. It’s not always said when both people have truly explored a topic—it’s often said before the conversation really begins. Used too early, it can be a way to end the discussion without actually engaging. It says, “I don’t want to look deeper—I just want this over.”
3. “That’s just my opinion.”
This tends to come out right before or after someone says something they know could be challenged. It’s a way of saying, “Don’t pick this apart, even if it doesn’t hold up.” Everyone’s entitled to an opinion—but not every opinion is immune to scrutiny. When someone leans on this line too quickly, it often means they’re not ready for the conversation that follows.
4. “You’re overthinking it.”
This dismissive comment gets used when someone wants to shut down deeper analysis. If a belief or behaviour is being gently questioned, this one flips the discomfort onto the other person. It says, “You’re the problem for thinking too much,” instead of asking, “Is there something here worth examining?” It cuts off introspection by mocking it.
5. “It’s not that deep.”
This one is a cousin to “You’re overthinking it.” It turns something potentially important into something trivial. It’s a quick way to say, “I don’t want to deal with this.” However, a lot of things are that deep, especially when they shape how we treat others, vote, work, or see the world. Dismissing depth doesn’t make it go away. It just keeps it buried.
6. “That’s just how the world works.”
This sounds like realism, but often it’s resignation. It’s used when someone doesn’t want to imagine that things could be different, or be held accountable for helping change them. Sometimes it’s easier to shrug than to reflect. However, this phrase quietly protects the status quo, even when the status quo hurts people.
7. “I don’t want to get political.”
Plenty of people say this when they’re actually deeply invested in certain ideas—they just don’t want them questioned. Labelling something “political” can be a quick excuse to disengage entirely. The thing is, a lot of things that affect people’s lives—rights, identity, equality—are political. Avoiding the label doesn’t make them disappear. It just helps people keep their distance from the discomfort.
8. “Everyone’s entitled to their opinion.”
This is true, but it’s often said right after someone’s been challenged, almost like a deflection. It tends to come out when the person knows their view is shaky, but doesn’t want to admit it. It’s another way of saying, “I’m not changing my mind, and I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” Used that way, it protects opinions from reflection, not criticism from cruelty.
9. “I’m too old to change now.”
This phrase wraps resistance in humour or humility, but at its core, it’s a soft refusal to grow. It suggests that age earns someone a pass from self-awareness or responsibility. The truth is, people are capable of growth at any age. This line just avoids the vulnerability that change requires, especially when someone’s been holding onto a belief for decades.
10. “Let’s not turn this into a debate.”
This might sound like an attempt to keep the peace, but sometimes it’s a preemptive way to avoid reflection. Not every discussion is a fight, but calling it one helps shut it down fast. It says, “I don’t want to feel uncomfortable,” even if the conversation is respectful. It frames discomfort as conflict instead of an opportunity to stretch.
11. “You’re just trying to start something.”
This one flips the dynamic entirely. Instead of facing the topic, it turns the focus onto the other person’s motives, as if curiosity or disagreement must be malicious. It’s a classic avoidance tactic. When someone doesn’t want to engage, painting the questioner as “difficult” is easier than engaging with the question itself.
12. “I don’t see colour / I treat everyone the same.”
This often comes from people who are trying to sound fair, but it usually points to a refusal to talk about real differences and inequalities. It can shut down hard conversations before they begin. Equality doesn’t come from pretending we’re all the same. It comes from recognising where we’re not, and working to fix what’s unfair. This phrase bypasses that entirely.
13. “Well, it’s always been that way.”
This one leans heavily on tradition, as if time makes something true or good. But just because something’s been done a certain way for a long time doesn’t mean it should continue. It’s a lazy defence against change, and one that protects a lot of harmful systems under the guise of familiarity.
14. “Can we not do this right now?”
There are times this is genuinely valid, but when it becomes the default response every time a tough topic comes up, it’s a way of keeping the conversation permanently delayed. It avoids rather than postpones. If there’s never a “better time,” the discomfort stays unspoken, and the beliefs stay untouched.
15. “I just go with my gut.”
There’s value in instinct, but when it’s used as a full stop instead of a starting point, it shuts down critical thinking. “My gut says so” doesn’t leave much room for discussion or evidence. This one often shows up when someone can’t explain what they believe, but doesn’t want to admit it. It’s confidence without clarity, and it ends a conversation before it starts.
