When someone is struggling, they might not always come out and say they need help.
Maybe they’re too self-conscious and don’t want to look “weak,” they don’t want to burden other people, or they just never learned how to speak up and admit when they’re having a tough time and could use a helping hand. Instead, their words often hint at deeper feelings of anxiety, hopelessness, or despair. Recognising these problematic phrases can make all the difference in offering support to someone who might feel too vulnerable to ask for it directly. Someone who uses these a lot is silently crying out, so make sure to answer their call if you’re in a position to do so.
1. “I’m just tired all the time.”
While feeling tired can be normal, constantly mentioning it might hint at something more serious, like emotional exhaustion or burnout. People who feel overwhelmed often use this to explain their low energy, without delving into the deeper issues causing it. Instead of brushing it off, asking gentle questions like, “What’s been making you feel so tired lately?” can encourage them to open up. Sometimes, all they need is a safe space to explore what’s really going on beneath the surface.
2. “I just need to get through this week.”
This might seem harmless, but it often reflects someone who feels trapped in a cycle of stress or overwhelm. They may be telling themselves that things will improve later, even if they don’t see a clear path forward. Offering a listening ear or asking, “What’s making this week feel so heavy for you?” can show them that you’re there to support them now, not just when the stress eases up.
3. “It’s fine. I’m used to it.”
This can be a subtle way of masking deeper pain or frustration, especially if someone feels resigned to their struggles. Saying they’re “used to it” often suggests they’ve been dealing with these issues for a long time and might not see a way out. Responding with curiosity, like “It sounds like this has been going on for a while. Do you want to talk about it?” can help them feel seen and understood without pressuring them to explain more than they’re ready to share.
4. “I don’t want to bother anyone.”
People who feel like they’re struggling often convince themselves that their problems aren’t important enough to share. They might downplay their feelings to avoid burdening anyone, even if they’re quietly hoping for someone to notice and care. Reassuring them with a response like, “You’re not bothering me at all. I’d love to hear what’s been on your mind,” can make a big difference. It lets them know their feelings matter and that you’re genuinely there for them.
5. “I’m just not myself lately.”
When someone uses this phrase, it’s often a way of acknowledging that something feels off, but without going into detail. It’s a quiet cry for help that hints at underlying struggles they might not know how to address yet. Following up with kindness, such as “What’s been making you feel this way?” can encourage them to open up about what’s been bothering them. It also shows that you’re paying attention to their mental and emotional health.
6. “I just need some space.”
Needing space can be normal, but if someone starts saying this fa lot, it could indicate they’re feeling overwhelmed and unsure how to cope. They might be retreating emotionally because they don’t know how to ask for the support they need. Respecting their boundaries while gently checking in, like saying, “I’m here when you’re ready to talk,” can create a safe space for them to come forward when they feel ready.
7. “I don’t know why I feel this way.”
Expressing confusion about their emotions can be a sign of deeper struggles that they haven’t fully processed. They might feel lost or stuck, unable to pinpoint what’s causing their distress, which can make asking for help even harder. Responding with empathy, like “It’s okay not to have all the answers. Do you want to talk it through?” can help them feel less alone. Offering support without judgement makes it easier for them to explore their feelings.
8. “I just can’t deal with this right now.”
Feeling overwhelmed often leads to statements like this, where someone indirectly reveals they’re at their breaking point. They might feel like everything is piling up, and they have no energy left to tackle what’s in front of them. Instead of pushing for details, saying, “That sounds really hard — what’s been the toughest part?” can give them permission to share without feeling overwhelmed by the conversation itself.
9. “I’m just so busy.”
Constant busyness is often used as a cover for deeper struggles. People might use it as an excuse to avoid addressing their feelings, or it could reflect a genuine sense of being overloaded and not knowing where to start in getting help. A calm response like, “What’s been keeping you so busy lately?” can open the door for them to share more about what’s really going on. It also shows you’re interested in understanding their experience.
10. “I feel like I’m failing at everything.”
Expressing self-doubt in this way often signals someone who feels overwhelmed and stuck in a cycle of negative self-talk. They might feel like nothing they do is good enough, even if they’re doing their best. Validating their effort with a response like, “I know things feel tough, but you’re handling a lot. What can I do to help?” can remind them that they’re not alone in their struggles.
11. “I just can’t keep up anymore.”
When someone says this, it often reflects a feeling of being stretched too thin. They might be struggling to balance responsibilities or feeling like they’re falling behind, which can heighten their sense of isolation. Encouraging them with, “You don’t have to do it all on your own—how can I support you?” can help ease the pressure they’re putting on themselves and remind them they don’t have to carry everything alone.
12. “It doesn’t really matter.”
This phrase might come across as indifference, but it often masks feelings of hopelessness or disconnection. When someone says this, they may be trying to downplay their struggles, believing their concerns aren’t worth addressing. Responding with curiosity, like “It sounds like something’s on your mind. What’s been going on?” can help them feel safe enough to share without fear of being dismissed.
13. “I feel like I’m letting everyone down.”
Expressing guilt in this way often points to someone who’s carrying an overwhelming emotional load. They may feel responsible for things outside their control or worry they’re not meeting expectations, even if those expectations are self-imposed. Reassuring them with, “You’re doing more than you realise—what’s been weighing on you?” can help them shift their perspective and feel less alone in their struggles.
14. “I just don’t know what to do anymore.”
When someone says this, it’s often a sign they feel completely stuck. They might be overwhelmed by choices or unsure how to move forward, which can leave them feeling paralysed by uncertainty. Offering support with, “It’s okay to feel unsure— let’s figure it out together,” can provide comfort and remind them they don’t have to navigate their challenges alone.
15. “I wish I could just disappear for a while.”
This statement often points to someone who feels emotionally drained and in need of a break. While they might not literally mean disappearing, it reflects a desire to escape their current reality because it feels too overwhelming to handle. Responding with, “That sounds really heavy. What’s been making you feel this way?” can open the door for them to express what’s weighing on them. It also reminds them they have someone who genuinely cares.
